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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let daughter do cheerleading?

464 replies

undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 13:41

Am I BU? She's 8, school have a cheerleading club once a week. ( they don't actually cheer a team, just learn routines) Some of the 'cool' girls do it, so now she wants to. I think it's pointless, sexist and outdated. And the 'cool' girls are also the not-very-nice ones in her year, who make fun of her for being in the football team.

She''s a VERY active kid, plays football and tennis competitively, swims, runs, plays basketball. All of which she loves so doesn't need the exercise.

She has tried various 'girls' activities over the years ( to try to keep in with the 'cool' girls) but gets bored of them quickly ( dance, gymnastics, musical theatre, ballet, netball).

I just think cheerleading is shite! And sends the wrong message to girls - don't cheer for the team be IN the bloody team.
And I sure a heck don't want her quitting something useful to try it for 2 months and get bored...

OP posts:
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hernamewasrio · 15/02/2020 13:33

@JacquesHammer jinx - we posted simultaneously....

MintySpud · 15/02/2020 13:49

@hernamewasrio, why not ask me what I think of ballet, rather than assume? I am a former ballet dancer. Ballet is not a sport but an athletic and artistic discipline at which, as you say, few will ever be successful for genetic reasons.

I did not and will not let my child attend ballet lessons because of the physical toll and psychological toll. I don't want her emerging with permanently fucked up feet and hips, and decaying teeth from dance school eating disorders.

On another note, though, when a young aspiring ballet dancer googles "ballet," she will find Fonteyn, Nureyev and so on. What is a young cheerleader going to find?

JacquesHammer · 15/02/2020 13:56

What is a young cheerleader going to find?

There always has to be a first.

There will have been a point when there were no female footballers, rugby players for girls to look up to.

Now you can name countless.

Progress happens.

amispeakingenglish · 15/02/2020 13:56

They have boys and transgenders in my daughters uni cheer teams, they do competitions and it's incredibly skilled, watch the USA teams to see also with both male & female acrobats, cos that's what it is.

i think you view is a bit outdated. Said daughter also played football in boys teams at primary and then outside girls teams when older.

pollymere · 15/02/2020 14:05

Having been a cheerleader 25 years ago, in the UK, it's quite a fun thing to do if you like dancing and simple gymnastics even. Let her have a try; if she's doing it to be cool, she'll soon get bored. I have no desire to play American football or rugby etc so never felt I should be on the pitch instead. As she gets older it will get more gymnastic and competitive but if it's just fun and she does enjoy it then don't stand in the way.

LolaSmiles · 15/02/2020 14:34

It's a badge of honour on here to say your dd plays football or rugby and if your dd does do more traditionally 'female' sports and activities you must add the caveat that she also loves running in muddy fields
That's true.
Then there's the other extreme that still rests in the idea of limited gender stereotypes when people that there's something inate that means their little girl just happens to love pink and princesses and all things super duper girly, that anyone suggesting fixed gender norms aren't helpful for girls/boys are denying sex exists.

It would be much better if we could get to a point where participation in a range of sports and activities could be valued as sports in their own right without bleating on about "my girl loves X because she is a girl / my girl enjoys this feminine sport but don't worry because she also does a boy sport too".

angell84 · 15/02/2020 15:47

Wow @LolaSmiles you are aggressive.

I actually like the idea of cheerleading - a team sport with dance and acro mixed.

What I don't like is seeing young girls wear boob tubes and hotpants. You will see this in youth cheer. And right up to adult cheer

Parents need to keep asking "why do boys wear more clothes than the girls"

bellinisurge · 15/02/2020 15:49

Never seen a youth team with boob tubes and hot pants ffs.

Bubblemonkey · 15/02/2020 15:58

I give it a few years till she starts rebelling...

Jjacobb · 15/02/2020 17:07

I'm at a Cheerleading competition right now.
The strength, teamwork and trust these girls and boys show is breathtaking.
Not a Pom Pom insight.
It certainly is a sport,

to not let daughter do cheerleading?
to not let daughter do cheerleading?
to not let daughter do cheerleading?
Jjacobb · 15/02/2020 17:15

You need to commit hours of time to traveling (dd has comps in London, Sheffield, Glasgow, blackpool, Brighton, Liverpool, and Bournemouth in the next12 months) also it's a very expensive sport if you start competitions

user18463585026 · 15/02/2020 17:22

Why are the male members of the team in full length trousers and full length tops but the female members in hot pants and crop tops?

angell84 · 15/02/2020 17:31

@bellinisurge there are loads! Look online

Localocal · 15/02/2020 17:32

I would let her do it if she wants to. It's hard navigating social waters as a little girl, and I would not make a stand about it. I don't think it's got the regressive anti-feminist vibe it used to have, and if she didn't like dancing she probably won't like it much anyway. I know you want to give her a feminist message, and more power to you (and her!) but I think you can give her an equally good message by respecting her wishes and not policing her choices. Let it go.

angell84 · 15/02/2020 17:32

Even in the photo posted above by @Jjacobb, why are the boys wearing more clothes than the girls? They look like hotpants and bare midriffs to me on the girls.

Notthebloodygym · 15/02/2020 17:39

I am glad my girls never did it.

Aridane · 15/02/2020 17:45

@MintySpud - just fucking Google Nd educate yourself on cheer leading rather than restating ingrained prejudice and US sports television memories

hernamewasrio · 15/02/2020 17:45

The girls stunt so for safety they can't be in long trousers - they'd slip right through your hands. No different from gymnasts wearing leotards. Why do people assume shorts and bra tops mean sexualisation?? It's athletic uniform.

user18463585026 · 15/02/2020 17:59

Male gymnasts seem to manage without wearing leotards.

hernamewasrio · 15/02/2020 18:10

You're right - they sometimes wear shorts or long bottoms.

Are we saying now that men and women and girls and boys should always wear the same? How sad.

angell84 · 15/02/2020 18:24

@hernamewasrio in gymnastics - men do alot of the same things as women. Men are given options to wear different types of clothing.

Women and girls are currently not allowed to wear anything other than leotards, which often shows their bum cheeks.

Tell me that's fair? Tell me there is no discrimination there?

I saw an artie written by a gymnastics dad. He said that he advocated for the girls to wear more clothes, but he was told that "leotards were pretty".

angell84 · 15/02/2020 18:27

@hernamewasrio if they put the boys in hotpants - in cheer- I think that you would hear complaints about it. Women do not stand up for girls enough.

The "need to wear very little so they can be caught in stunts" makes no sense. They could wear long pants with friction - catchable fabric.

Both gymnastics and cheer currently make girls wear very little, I have seen numerous parents complain about it.

JacquesHammer · 15/02/2020 18:30

The squad at DD’s school wear leggings and a long sleeve, “skins” version of the school PE tee.

Mycatwontstopstaring · 15/02/2020 18:34

Yanbu. Cheerleading is sexist and ridiculous. If she was 13 I’d say it’s up to her, but she is 8 and you need to teach her good values. Like be ON the team.

CherryPavlova · 15/02/2020 18:37

In truth one of the reasons my daughter tried it was because of the cute mini dresses and attent6of some handsome lads. That is surely what being a feminist is about- allowiing women to choose what they wear and who they interact with. Limiting girls to a narr6view of accepted pro-feminist dress and activities is just as restrictive as encouraging pole dancing and spray tans.

Can it not simply be a bit of fun?