Guest left clothing - wash or not?

[MsWasher]

Posting for traffic... and will garner whether I was being unreasonable or not by the replies.

Name changed as I'd prefer this wasn't linked to my other threads.

Had a friend stay over at the weekend. They informed me hours after they left they'd left an item of clothing behind. Didn't realise they'd left it but after looking for it I found it so told them I had done so.

They asked if I could post it, I said sure... so put it in the post the next day.

The day after I got a text thanking me for the 'worn' item.

My question is... should I have laundered it before returning? This item was bright red btw, and first wear so I'm damned to risk dying my own washing pink! And I'm not doing 'dark' washing again until the weekend.

I've not replied to the text - they've got their clothing but how the fuck should I reply?!

He'd left them with a 'woman' ... of course he expected that you would wash them before returning them. Why else would he have left them.

"I'm not your mum" should do the trick.

Maybe he's a bit of a player who ensures that he finds somebody new for a dalliance with every night, for the sole purpose of leaving his pants to be freshly laundered and then promptly delivered back to his door, so that he never ever needs to wash his own pants.

I'm guessing that, on the rare occasions when he can't find a conquest, he donates that day's pants to the charity shop just before closing time, lets them wash them and then buys them back from the 5p bin the following day.

You could always tell him that they were 'cleaned to eBay standards' - I hear that that doesn't require any onerous laundering and is a particularly highly prized presentation method among certain communities.

I once lent a friend a (really nice) woollen sweater to walk home with because it was colder than she expected. I thought she would bring it straight back, but she texted to say "will bring it back the day after tomorrow after washing it and giving it time to day".

She brought it back four sizes smaller after putting it in the washing machine.

Moral: don't wash other people's stuff unless they ask you.

I certainly wouldn't do a special wash for that! I would only put something red in with similar coloured or very dark clothes, so would wash his pants if I was doing a load anyway but not otherwise.

I think he's been a bit rude to be honest- he left his stuff behind, you've already had to make a trip to the post office, and now he expects laundry service as well. You are not his maid! Is he trying to test you out here, do you think, to see whether you push back on this sort of crap from him?

Damn me if I can remember where, but I read something somewhere about guys leaving clothing 'accidentally on purpose' at a girl's house just to see if she'd wash them before returning them. Some kind of stupid 'test' but I don't remember exactly what it was supposed to prove.

At any rate, OP, I think you failed the test. Or passed depending on your own point of view.

I don’t really know why it would turn your washing pink

Have you not seen Paddington 2?

I'd see it as a sort of apology, slightly embarrassed, "sorry you had to wrap up my used pants". Or as Muckycat suggests, maybe it was a joke? I wouldn't be offended, anyway.

I have just.... made my point clear hahaha

He maybe needs them again this weekend...

I think I'd reply saying 'you seriously wanted me to wash your pants?' and see how he replies. He'll hopefully think you're joking. But his reply may be very telling.

Did they ask you at the post office for specific details of what was in the package (as on the other recent thread)?

Surely if you'd answered honesty and said "It's a pair of grubby worn shreddies", they would have declined the parcel, handed over their leaflet on 'offensive and hazardous items which we will not accept' and probably pressed their under-counter panic button to link directly to the police station in case you kicked off.

I was thinking if you had returned my worn knickers to me in the post I’d be mortified and think you were really odd, but be too embarrassed to mention it. But the fact that this is a man you’ve had sex with puts an entirely different slant on it. You should have kept them until the next time you saw him, and if you didn’t see him again, well, he’d need new pants wouldn’t he.

Someone left their top, jeans and cardi at my house the other day. I washed the top and the jeans but not the cardi because it is woolly and I would be worried about ruining it. I wouldn't think it was strange to not wash items before returning though.

His text read exactly "I've left my pants at yours". I was like... where the fuck?! My parents are coming round for dinner so I need to find them before they do

I can't stop giggling at the thought of that, OP. Your increasingly desperate search, tearing the cushions off the sofa, crawling under the bed, emptying wastebins onto the floors, where are the bloody things? Thown onto a lightbulb? Some place where your Dad will trip over them? Hanging on the back of a door that will swing to in front of your Mum's face?
You ring your Mum and say Let's meet at a cafe - my place has a cockroach infestation. She says I'll come and clean them out. You pack your bags, give notice to the landlord and move out. Sorted.

So he went home commando?

The post office did ask me what was in the parcel and I said an item of clothing.

Fucking Devil pants sums it up better probably 🤷🏼‍♀️😂. Couldn't keep a straight face but hey ho... there we go 😁

I'd say sorry but I don't think we're at that stage where we're washing each others undies yet! (said both so I'm being pc there!)

It sounds like maybe he wanted to wear the red pants on another date.

I think he was embarrased they were 'dirty' and was trying to make light of it.

Red Armani pants?
LTB.

What exactly did his text say? Maybe you misconstrued meaning/tone?

What did his actual text say about the worn pants?

I’m now thinking of him as Mr Armani Skidmarks.

I would be embarrassed to have left my pants somewhere and would probably think it more embarrassing (and more inconvenient to you) to have to handle them to wash them, dry them and then post them rather than quickly shove in an envelope. I wouldn’t ask someone to post my pants though, not after I’d slept with them - it’s a big hassle and a bit rude - best just to wait until you see them again do you think you’ll see him again? It’s a bit of a dodgy sign as no one should urgently need a pair of pants back surely.