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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like I've had enough of parenting teenagers

124 replies

SimonTheFox · 12/02/2020 20:04

So so so fed up, upset, down, stressed. Sick sick sick of my life. Just letting it out. Have two teenagers and absolutely sick of the stinking attitudes. One younger one too who I'm trying to shield from the arguments. Feel like I just want to run away!

OP posts:
JustMyName · 12/02/2020 20:10

YANBU. Hardest parenting, I thought. The worry, letting them become more independent, the attitude, they stop telling you what's happening in their lives (sometimes anyway) ... you can't just kiss it better anymore.

Orangeblossom78 · 12/02/2020 20:13

Sometimes I miss the child they used to me, sitting on my knee.

JhustJenny · 12/02/2020 20:15

Yep fucking thankless

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 12/02/2020 20:20

Can I add pre-teens to the list, please?! My two are 14 and 11, they're both being challenging in various ways and it's driving me mad. DH is losing his mind as well.

Can we all please escape to a desert island somewhere and return when they're 18+? Or win the lottery and seriously consider boarding school?! Grin. Just kidding, I'd miss them really.

Original poster
SimonTheFox · 12/02/2020 20:23

Thanks all. I honestly think boarding school would have been the answer for my middle dc14! If only! Just feel like absolute crap this eve! So fed up.

OP posts:
Skyejuly · 12/02/2020 20:27

You are not alone. I have a 13yr old dd and 15yr old ds along with 3 more younger. They make me miserable atm constant battle and attitudes just such hard work :(

HollowTalk · 12/02/2020 20:29

Are you dealing with this on your own, OP?

What sort of behaviour is there?

BuddhaAtSea · 12/02/2020 20:30

I’m joining the ranks. It’s got so bad I have a knot in my stomach constantly and I’m really anxious to come home after work, to what I might find.
I’m reading all these parenting teenagers books 🙄🤭

Wickedwoo · 12/02/2020 20:32

YANBU i have 2 teenage DSS's 15 & 16. Always got on great been close since they were 2 & 3 but lately they drive me insane with shitty attitudes sarcastic answers. It's so depressing. If your running away can i come too please

megletthesecond · 12/02/2020 20:34

Yanbu. I'm having a breather after separating another fight. Both children are refusing to shower. (No screens or tv).
I've been up since 5am and had a mental day at work, I just want to sleep but they can't be left alone.

GothMummy · 12/02/2020 20:34

YANBU

thelibertine · 12/02/2020 20:35

Know exactly what you mean.

I have two teens and a much younger one.

Fed up of the same old arguments and them not listening to what I say. I absolutely miss the children they used to be and it makes me even sadder that my youngest one will also grow into a thankless, selfish teen !

rookiemere · 12/02/2020 20:43

Yes DS was a bit like that Harry Enfield sketch where he wakes up on his 13th birthday having turned into Kevin the grumpy teenager.

I try to remind myself of his good points - he doesn't self harm or harm others, he hasn't shown any interest in drink or drugs -yet-, he doesn't cut school and does all his homeworkwith the absolute minimum amount of effort , he doesn't really demand designer gear, umm he's not as bad as my friends teenage DD. But yes that's about it.

I quite enjoy being in work where the vast majority of people are reasonable and easy to work with, whereas I find spending time with DS 13 is hard. I posted a similar thread a few months ago and I think someone said something like teenagers are invented to make parents pleased when they leave the parental home.

I try to remember it's his hormones and not his fault, but I've got my own peri menopausal hormones doing me a confuse already.

FizzyIce · 12/02/2020 20:45

It’s so damn hard .
Ages of 14-16 were shit and now he’s back from uni at 19 and the crap is kicking in again .
Put him straight this time though so he is under no illusions!

IsAnybodyListening · 12/02/2020 20:48

Same. I can never judge my 15 yr old's mood. He is happy and funny, or full of rage and slamming doors. It is like treading on eggshells.

IpanemaGallina · 12/02/2020 20:56

It’s very trying. We had a stomp-upstairs-door slamming moment tonight with older teen. I waited 5 mins then followed her and calmly explained that it’s not me who sets all this homework and I understand GCSEs are stressful but if she doesn’t want to do her homework revision then there’s plenty of house chores waiting downstairs. She apologised. It’s tough though, so much pressure on them. We have work, grumpy husbands and our own hormones to deal with.
Younger teen says ‘yes I know-err’ in a sarcastic voice to literally everything I say Hmm

Boredbumhead · 12/02/2020 20:59

Oh dear. Mine are only 8 but refused to get off their technology as I was handing them a lovingly made dinner. They didn't like the dinner. I saw red tonight and I'm not proud.

romany4 · 12/02/2020 21:06

It gets better I promise!

My ds1 was quite frankly a horrible mouthy little shit. From 14 to 17 he would regularly get drunk, get into fights, not come home for days, bunk off school. Spoke to me and his dad like shit. Was awful. We went to the school. Sat down and talked endlessly to him which he would swear and deny he was doing anything wrong. Finally at 17 we told him enough was enough. He either got his act together or left. He left. I was heartbroken still.

But
Now he's 25, got his own house, works full time. Is an absolutely amazing kind young man. We have a lovely relationship.

In contrast, my ds2 wasn't a days bother all the way through his teens And I was constantly waiting for the mouthy moody stuff to start. Never happened! He's 22 now and still as laid back as ever

Hang in there. It feels like forever just now but before you know it, they're grown

LittleSweet · 12/02/2020 21:09

Ds1 will argue the point even though he knows I'm right. He is bloody rude when I tried to help him. He burst into tears because his practice pasta for food tech wasn't how he expected it to be. I put it through the machine commenting what a great texture it had and how it was strong and he said see through, like it should be. I dropped what I was doing to help him. Within half an hour, he'd turned it around to me telling him off and having a go about the pasta. Even his Dad put him straight. I also told him to be careful as the cutting bit on the machine was sharp. He told me it wasn't. I didn't say anything when he cut himself on it...

teenagetantrums · 12/02/2020 21:14

It gets better. That's all l have to say. My DD was a nightmare between 13and 16 think. School exclusion. Running away . Police and social services involved. Then she went to college and then before l knew it was at uni.
My DS was never a problem until his ear 20s which was a surprise to me.
My advice pick your battles. You have to let them make mistakes. Don't engage in arguing and drink wine whenever you can🤣

Cheerfullygo4 · 12/02/2020 21:20

Oh I feel the pain. Managed to get through three sets of teenage girl years and now embarking on nearly 13 year old boy. Why oh why did I do this to myself. That extra glass of wine was not worth all the pain and stress I'm being handed out in spades.

Anxious1013 · 12/02/2020 21:20

Can I please join - single parent to three stroppy teens. Some days I am downright depressed and can feel the darkness closing in.

danadas · 12/02/2020 21:38

YANBU. My 17 year old almost broke me between the ages of 13-15 in particular. She has settled a bit now but is hard, hard work. My 15 year old is no bother really in comparison (just usual teenage stuff) and I have a younger child so the joy awaits me again!

One of the main reasons why I haven't had the originally planned number 4 is because I cannot face doing this again in my 50's it's been hard enough whilst relatively young.

Goinglive · 12/02/2020 21:38

Good god I needed this thread today. I thought it was just me. DS 13 has been foul this last week, I had to shut myself in the bedroom and cry.

I got a little flashback to him toddling over to show me a book he liked when he was about 2 or 3 and asking me to read it for him. I can remember his little face and giggles. A total contrast to his door slamming today.

Skyejuly · 12/02/2020 22:02

I am so glad I am not alone. It is really hard work. Why can teenagers be so horrid :(