To feel like I've had enough of parenting teenagers

[SimonTheFox]

So so so fed up, upset, down, stressed. Sick sick sick of my life. Just letting it out. Have two teenagers and absolutely sick of the stinking attitudes. One younger one too who I'm trying to shield from the arguments. Feel like I just want to run away!

I’m on teen number 3. 9 more months and I won’t have any teenagers - I cannot wait!

Please someone tell me a miracle happens when they hit 20 and they become “normal” people 🙏

The first two were “typical” teens - moody, argumentative, lazy, messy with a terrible attitude - on times.

Number 3 (the baby of the family) is driving me stark, raving crazy! I cannot wait for her to finish college in June. Hoping she will move out tbh. We don’t really see much of her but when she’s home we know it.

Hence my username.

Agree with you all. I though babies were hard, then toddlers, then children, but no the teen sullenness and outright selfishness is more wearing than all the other stages. Perhaps nature sets this is on purpose so we push them out for independence?

15 and 13 year old boys here- the worst bit is that they can't stand each other at the moment and shout constantly! The younger one is an annoying little fucker to everyone, and the older one jumps down his throat for every, little thing and bosses him, which leads to explosions. FFS. On top of that I have an 8yo with adhd. It's a wonder I'm not in a mental institution.

It is the absolute hardest part of parenting, but this too will pass!

Newborns are exhausting but they are totally dependent on you and cute! Toddlers are challenging but still cute enough and often cuddly and loving.

Then you get the OK bits, but teacher is GOD!. But teachers tell them to listen to parents, so it's OK.

Then the tweenage stage. They are looking like teens, trying to be like teens but still manageable and kind of cute.

Then.... Da da da da.....

They turn 13, the hormones take over, they hate you, because they hate themselves. They feel they know so much, but we know they know so little. They fake arrogance because they feel that is the only way to survive! That is the part that engenders hatred! Try to remember it is a defence mechanism against a scary world they are trying to learn about.

I am on my 3rd and 4th teens, 54 weeks apart for these two. 11 years between 1 and 2, then 11 years between 2 and 3.

I have had time and practice. I'm not perfect, but I have learnt to pick my battles and a bit more empathy.

This thread has got me petrified for the teen years, I have three 8, 3, 8months. The 8 yo already drives me up the wall with his attitude and sarcasm as it is . .

It's certainly the hardest phase, they need you more than ever but think they don't. Those eggshells are sharpened and laced with itching powder.

Thank you all for your honesty. I hate that so many of us are exhausted by this. It's not something people get a chance to chat about as by the time they are teens we are often back to work and we do not do school runs so I don't get to chat to other parents of teens.

They are wearing me thin atm. How have I raised such self-entitled rude kids?

Eldest is nearly 16 and does have some redeeming features at long last but is hard.

13yr old daughter a whole new ball game. She is actually horrible most of the time.

Ds is 15 and doesn't like me at all. It's a complex situation though as he's recently been diagnosed with autism. He blames me for that. Trying to help him accept his diagnosis, deal with his associated mental health issues and then him being a hormonal teenage boy is exhausting me. Not forgetting the stress of the gcses that start in May too.

Sorry Skyejuly my DD was dreadful at 13 but even worse now at 15 I am hoping this is her peaked at at her worst. Throw in erratic irregular long lasting periods to the mix and it’s even worse. Thank goodness no boys on the scene or under age drinking or drug just making my life hell.

Oh no. She has just started her cycle but it's just made her worse as now she has constant pains.....

Oh god, I have a 12 year old who is still mostly lovely and these posts are scaring me now...

Can I join, my nearly 13 year old has been behaving like a teenager for ages, attitude, mess, pushes boundaries, thinks he's in charge etc. My 10 year old is also morphing into the same, I swear it has become more acute since his Birthday last weekend. Parenting sometimes (often) feels like the worse slog. That said I found the early years hard too when they are so dependent on you for everything. Maybe when they're in their 20s it will be the best bit.

13-15 were the worst years ever with DD, she was truly vile. However she's now 21, gorgeous and very level headed and has turned into a lovely woman. There is hope.

@Skyejuly How have I raised such self-entitled rude kids?

You haven't, your lovely kids are still around but are temporarily in suspended animation under a pile of dirty laundry/plates/cups/spoons in their room and will re-emerge from their unique chrysalis in a few years time leaving you to wonder if you imagined it all.

YANBU
I hear you
Teen and nearly teen here and ducking nightmare some days

Ducking! Lol, autocorrect being politer than me

YANBU, I'd give anything to go back to the days when I thought routines for naps and how much milk they had I hear you OP. This is easily th hardest part so far.....

Can I join in? DS 19 is either scathingly hostile or alright if he wants something. He won’t look at me when he grunts at me, he doesn’t answer texts, he will never share anything about his day in work / college and apart from going to those and the occasional football match will only lay in bed watching his laptop.
He’s rude, short, and will argue over anything, even when he knows I’m right.
He’s been like this since about 16 and I thought we’d escaped it. He’s either a late developer or he’s going to grow into a horrible young man. I’m at a loss as he’s he’d a lovely upbringing.

This too shall pass.. I used to sit outside in my car after work rather than going into the house when my DD was a teen. I wanted to alternately throttle her/drown myself in a bath full of vodka. But it did, indeed, pass and now she’s a mum. And a very good one at that! Probably better than I was tbf. Although I have a sneaky delight that the teen years are coming and she won’t know what’s hit her 😂

Mine is terminally lazy and messy and I STILL need to tell him to clean his teeth at 17!

But other than that he's actually fine. He will talk to us.

It's not being a teen that's the problem, it's the computer games and being addicted to screens. And the fact that so many games allegedly don't have pause buttons. He's fine until you try to get him off a game and then he gets ratty. It's all to do with screens. So if your kids are younger, don't let them have a games console.

Oh and he think it's funny to leave everything until the very last minute. So instead of getting ready for college and then messing about on his phone until he needs to leave the house to get his bus, he messes around and then 2 minutes before he needs to go, rushes off to clean his teeth and then has a panic because he can't find something. But if I say anything he just says he hasn't missed the bus yet. Yeah well there's always a first time.

But on the whole I think we've got off lightly. Unless he turns into a brat in his early 20s instead but as a friend pointed out, he will be at uni then and not living with us most of the time!

I’m deep in the toddler years, knackered etc and these threads about teens always scare me. Do you think there is an element of rose tinted glasses about the early years? Is it the fact they can be shitbags but still make you smile but teenagers don’t show that same affection? Is age a factor?

My sister is knackered by my teenage niece and nephew but she sleeps, has lie-ins and nice holidays so I’m struggling to see how she is more tired. I can get the worry and mental load being harder but I just can’t imagine being more tired than I am now!

It’s not being tired that’s an issue, it’s feeling down and kind of hopeless and wondering how you went so badly wrong - because it must be your own fault that your teens are this rude to you or such layabouts and so messy.

Mine are soon to be 14, 16 and 18 so it’s a triple whammy . Am relieved to hear that they might emerge from their chrysalis in their 20s .

I do think my teens are particularly layabouty however and there are others who do more. Like my son’s super involved in every cause going friend.

Cremebrule I have two boys 11 and 14 and they seem OK for now. Helpful, kind, say please and thank you. (maybe it will change though)

15 yr old has just had a screaming fit in the car, shouting at DH all the way to school while my smaller child sobbed. I too miss the sweet tiny person ! Teenagers are hard. She has a cold, is very stressed about exams and has pmt, but the mood swings are shattering.

This thread rocks, I honestly feel so much better after reading it. Delighted you are all suffering as much as me! Makes me feel normal!