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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Re dropping BIL off at work

478 replies

twelveminutespast · 12/02/2020 18:45

Not sure if I'm being U here so I'm hoping for some opinions here.

Me and DH work on the same road. However it's a very long road and goes on for a few miles iyswim.

Before Christmas, BIL got a job on the same road, it's in the middle of mine and DH work place. DH one morning suddenly said to me BIL is going to get in with us, can you drop him off at work on the way.

I was miffed about this, as there are two ways to get to DH work. 1st way is very busy and have to go past numerous schools. I actively avoided going that way in the morning because it's an absolutely nightmare. However this is the only way we can go to get to BILs workplace. The other way we used to go took much less time, I could drop DH off and go back down the same route and still get to work on time.

I'm getting stressed every morning because the traffic is so horrendous going the first way in order to drop BIL off. He contributes nothing to petrol costs either. And I'm often late dropping my DS off at childcare before I start work.

I don't know how to approach this situation. aibu here?

OP posts:
twelveminutespast · 14/02/2020 20:04

He's round every weekend watching football as we have the full Virgin Media package Angry

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 14/02/2020 20:04

Was he invited to watch football by your DH? On Valentine's evening?

RandomMess · 14/02/2020 20:23

Just 😳 you actually have a huge DH issue.

Poohpooh · 14/02/2020 20:25

No way would I want my BIL around every weekend and no way would SIL would want my DH round at hers every weekend!

OP, time to put in boundaries. He can come around of course but not so bloody often!

JayAlfredPrufrock · 14/02/2020 20:27

He sounds a right charmer.

cheesydoesit · 14/02/2020 20:29

Aw OP. This is a horrible way for them both to treat you, the ungrateful shits. Your BIL is basically marking his territory and telling you he his your DH's priority and your DH is not disputing that. I hope I am wrong and that in the time I have written this you have updated that DH has chucked his brother out but I don't think you will have.

I hope you can stand up for yourself and tell BIL he needs to leave and then let your husband know you will not stand for this shitty behaviour.

LizB62A · 14/02/2020 20:33

I'm sure someone has already said it but you've got a DH problem if he lets his brother behave like this.
You need to stand up for yourself - they're setting a terrible example for your DS......

WhiteBadger · 14/02/2020 20:41

You answered the door ... why the fuck did you let him in!!!!??

It's Valentine's Day!

C'mon OP you've been amazing so far! Chuck the CF out!!!

twelveminutespast · 14/02/2020 20:43

To be fair neither of us knew it was him. I'm not feeling very well at the moment; I honestly don't have the energy to go downstairs and tell him to leave.

No doubt he will turn up tomorrow though as well, if he does I'll be telling DH that I'm sick of him being present every weekend. I feel like my house isn't mine because there's always somebody else here

OP posts:
MotherofTerriers · 14/02/2020 20:45

It's valentines day! I think you need a conversation with your DH

twelveminutespast · 14/02/2020 20:47

Admittedly we've never celebrated Valentines Day. It's not something that bothers me BUT having said that it would be nice to spend some time with DH on the weekend. Not tonight though as I'm not well

OP posts:
RandomMess · 14/02/2020 20:50

Text/message your DH now and tell him BIL isn't to come around tomorrow as you need a break from having visitors.

EKGEMS · 14/02/2020 20:52

I'd have shoved the remote up his sponging ass

RandomMess · 14/02/2020 21:01

It sounds more like living in a houseshare tbh

CallmeAngelina · 14/02/2020 21:11

I would be chucking my toys out of the pram big-time at this point.
OK, write off tonight, as you're probably quite glad to be upstairs out of the way if you're feeling ill.

But lay out your stall for tomorrow. This is YOUR house, and you want some peace and quiet as a family tomorrow. Don't accept any shit from your husband about it being his house too. He's had his quota of guests for the time being.

Trunkysaurus · 14/02/2020 21:30

Tell him Virgin is the name of the provider not a description of the viewer and he can piss off back home.

CallmeAngelina · 14/02/2020 21:35

You could also ask your husband who he most prefers to piss off, his brother or the person he is going to want to have sex with some time soon.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 14/02/2020 21:37

@Trunkysaurus 🤣🤣🤣

m00rfarm · 14/02/2020 21:43

Turn it off and take the remote away. And if the tv works via the Wi-Fi then turn the Wi-Fi off as well. How rude. I am so angry On your behalf.

twelveminutespast · 14/02/2020 21:44

@Trunkysaurus I think you just won Best Comment award

OP posts:
Weenurse · 14/02/2020 21:45

@CallmeAngelina 🤣🤣🤣

twelveminutespast · 14/02/2020 21:51

Speaking to DH about BIL being round every weekend. Will update later.

OP posts:
TrixieTheWhore · 14/02/2020 21:53

Outrageously rude behaviour.

So DH is fine with his brother insulting his wife in her own home?

Your DH sounds like a wet lettuce. He needs to learn to drive for a start.

BruceAndNosh · 14/02/2020 21:58

Change the name of your Wi-Fi to NOTANYMOREMATE

TrixieTheWhore · 14/02/2020 22:00

Or BILisafreeloadinggooseberry

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