Small children taking up seats

[pigdogridesagain]

I recently attended my local walk in centre for a minor ailment, waiting time was around 3 hours. It was absolutely packed in there. I noticed that there were quite a few very ill looking adults stood as all the seats were taken. However many of the seats were taken by small children, AIBU to expect parents to put them on their laps so that adults can sit down? Another thing I noticed was people bringing 3 or 4 family members/friends with them, again taking up seats that someone who is obviously poorly could have used, AIBU?

@Sally99 if I am travelling on a train with my child I book an extra seat (especially if it’s a long journey!) so imo that seat is my child’s and paid for. They are a person too and therefore entitled to sit on a seat!! You don’t trump them just because you are an adult!

YANBU, totally agree. People seem to be getting very selfish and entitled. Sick people of any age get the seats as they need them more. Visitors etc should jump up and offer.

I don’t think you can moan about small children needing a seat. There is no reason why they are less important than you

Well, if they are well, they are less important and less deserving of a seat than an ill person needing a seat

I don't understand the comparison with trains.

They are on a first come first served basis. What difference does it make to you if the seat is taken by a child or by an adult? The seat is taken.
A child is not a piece of luggage.

Plus it is much safer for them to seat down, as opposed to send flying across the carriage anyway.

Well, if they are well, they are less important and less deserving of a seat than an ill person needing a seat

But that statement doesn’t just apply to a child... an ill person does of course need a seat more than a person who is well. It has nothing to do with being a child or not.

Sparkle567 it is parents like you who have created a generation of entitled pricks. A) unless the child is unwell, they should stand for people who are actually there for an appointment. B) unless you want your Dc to become an entitled prick who demands everything and contributes nothing, you need to start teaching them that society DOES have hierarchies. Old people are less able than most young. Adults are much more likely to be tired from work and responsibility than a child wriggling around full of beans. For the love of God, it is not all about you and your child.

damnthatanxiety

it depends on the age. A pre-school child has priority too. If you can't see that, I wonder who the entitled prick can possibly be

Society DOES have hierarchies ... Adults are much more likely to be tired from work and responsibility than a child wriggling around full of beans.

Bollocks to that frankly. There are many situations where it’s more important for a young child to have a seat than an able bodied adult. Or where their needs are equal.

And we all know who the entitled pricks are in that situation.

Surely if we want to teach children to respect other we should lead by example? If a child sees there parent getting up and offering a seat (when able to) then they will learn a much better lesson from that than being told that simply because they are a child they have to stand.

In this scenario, 'importance' and 'hierarchy' are irrelevant. Age is irrelevant. It's a question of need. An individual who is ill is in greater need of a seat than a person who is well and able. So a healthy child or adult should not occupy a seat needed by an unhealthy child or adult.

When my kids were little, when they were ill they would go from wanting to move around to wanting a cuddle to sitting restless to moving again... it was totally exhausting on its own and then usually exacerbated by either being ill myself or having been up half the night with them or both. I can also imagine that if a parent was there because of their own illness and had to take their well child along, they might appreciate not having to find the energy to hold the child on their knee. To be honest I wouldn't know though because when mine were little they took a lot of managing if I had to wait anywhere with them for any length of time, they really got fed up if they didn't nap in time, and I was lucky enough in those first years that I never got so ill that I couldn't wait a few days for my DH to take a day off and look after them.

I had to go for a pregnancy scan at the hospital and all the seats were taken up by lounging dads, peripheral family members and loads and loads of kids. I was waiting for my appointment and no-one offered me a seat. I didn’t need to sit, I’m pregnant, not ill and I’m not suffering with any pains or anything but it was curious that I was obviously an expectant mother and no one thought to or wanted to offer me a seat.

One minute people are moaning that children are running around, the next minute people are moaning that children are sitting on chairs
What if they’re quiet and calm on the chair like everyone expects children to be in waiting rooms?

Can’t win!

How come as children growing up we all gave up our seats for adults etc but no one expects this generation of children to?
Do the extent where people don't notice another person in need?
How selfish and self-absorbed as a society have we become?

How come as children growing up we all gave up our seats for adults etc but no one expects this generation of children to?

I’m a fully able bodied 30 year old. I do not expect a 6 year old to jump up for me. 50 years ago that might have been the norm but it isn’t now.

How come as children growing up we all gave up our seats for adults etc but no one expects this generation of children to?

people use to LEAVE their seats to mothers and young children, so I am not sure which time zone you come from.

people use to LEAVE their seats to mothers and young children, so I am not sure which time zone you come from

I grew up in the 70s/80s and while seats would have been given to mothers carrying very small children, children who were old enough to stand would vacate their seats for adults. Why? Because back then we weren't all worrying about how 'important' we were and inventing 'hierarchies' to put ourselves at the top of - our parents were teaching us at a young age to be considerate and put others' needs before our own. It was known as being 'unselfish' or 'kind'. A shame the concept is dying out.

As a child I was expected to scoot over onto mum's knee if somewhere became short on seats - we shared so there were more seats to go round for others. Everyone seemed to do the same. As an older child/teenager I was expected to stand up if someone needed the seat more than me - so not automatic deference to every single adult, just anyone more in need of the seat than me, and recognising that we couldn't always tell if someone is in pain or ill or whatever so maybe just good manners to offer anyway. That was the 70s "time zone". (There's no contradiction there, with the expectation that adults would offer their seats to mums with small children, or pregnant women.)

Yes Ceara , we had to do this too. Who didn't?

We were in the children's ED the other night. Mum and sick child plus teenage son, teenage daughter and grandma.
I think the teenagers could have stayed at home alone or stayed with grandma. They took a whole row of seats!

How is making someone else stand up It was known as being 'unselfish' or 'kind'. surely to teach your child about being selfish and kind you stand yourself for those in need not expect your child to do so just because they are “inferior” to you?

Sirzy - you'd teach people to be unselfish by giving them licence to be selfish? Not very logical. If you wanted your child to learn to do long-division, would you take their exercise book off them and do the sum yourself? No, you would make the child do it.

No you teach them by example. If you want them to learn to be kind and unselfish then the best way to do so is to demonstrate that too them through your own actions, exactly the same as your long division example you wouldn’t just tell them to do it you would model it for them and show them how to do it so they learn how to do it for themselves.

Saying “I’m an adult so too important to stand but your a child so you will stand” is hardly teaching young people for a life time of being kind is it!

@Sleepyquest...YOU think so but obviously they did not see/want that option. Maybe the mum couldn’t drive?? Maybe granny didn’t want to babysit because the teenagers are little shits at home, maybe the teenagers can’t be trusted on their own?? My they had some additional needs that you don’t know of?? Bottom line...it’s not yours to control unfortunately.