Small children taking up seats

[pigdogridesagain]

I recently attended my local walk in centre for a minor ailment, waiting time was around 3 hours. It was absolutely packed in there. I noticed that there were quite a few very ill looking adults stood as all the seats were taken. However many of the seats were taken by small children, AIBU to expect parents to put them on their laps so that adults can sit down? Another thing I noticed was people bringing 3 or 4 family members/friends with them, again taking up seats that someone who is obviously poorly could have used, AIBU?

Sparkle567 It's a good job I'm comfortable with that, isn't it? Your posts would very hurtful if I wasn't.

@TheMemoryLingers - you shouldn’t be so judgemental on other people’s choices then.

As usual no-one makes a rule and sticks to it, in this case that extra family members or friends don't have the right to a seat.
As for men taking a seat while pregnant women stand in the ante-natal clinic, that's unbelievable.

In all sorts of situations people end up inconvenienced while the selfish carry on their own sweet way. You see it all the time here in parking and neighbour disputes.

Yanbu, and i wish signs would be put up saying Please give up your or child’s seat for anyone in need. Or Seats for patients first.

As a parent to an ASD child (not obvious to onlookers) this thread makes my paranoia about onlookers judging even worse. No way could I sit with my son on my knee and as a nurse no way am I putting him on the floor in a germ filled hospital.

I'm not sure how holding the view that, in a hospital waiting room, the seats should be given first to the people who are ill, translates to 'judging people's choices'.

When they all catch the Coronavirus they might wish they had stayed away!

YANBU about the whole family going along. When it comes to children taking up the seats a lot of parents wouldn’t care if it means ill people have to stand as long as their children are given pride of place. And I’m not talking about ill kids - of course they should have a seat.

If kids are brought up with a sense of entitlement of course they’ll carry it into adulthood. We’re turning into a survival of the fittest population with many people having no regard for others. My husband has a terminal illness and when I accompany him to medical appointments I often have to ask staff to find him a seat - this despite the fact he uses two sticks and suffers constant tremors.

I’ve learnt the hard way how selfish many people can be.

Yabu if the child is ill.... they are people too!!

YABU about the parents with children. YANBU about whole families tagging along. What the hell is with that? Drives me INSANE. Last time I was in children's A&E with my son, a family of mum, dad and 4 kids came in because one child had had a bump to their head. The kids were racing around causing absolute mayhem and other parents ended up reading to them and playing with them to keep everything under control whilst trying to care for their own unwell children. Totally unnecessary to bring them all along for hours when there were two parents. And on children's wards you have whole families, both parents, both grandparents, aunties, kids sitting around beds of patients with minor ailments for hours on end bringing in McDonald's, constantly on the phone giving 'updates' about little Masons suspected appendicitis. Who cares. Go home.

To be fair OP, you could have had a child on your knee, for some reason you went to A&E with earache.

I went with a burst appendix, so couldn't. Do you not get the difference? They were perfectly behaved sharing the seat next to me, earphones in watching a film.

It took all I had just to sit in the chair while in agony without having to get my children to stand like perfect little soldiers.

The extended family thing cracks me up. Obviously there are occasional circumstances where it's unavoidable (I once ended up at A&E with 3 other adults and 2 kids, after an accident on a day out), but in most cases the majority of the accompanying adults should be able to go elsewhere (even if they can't actually get home as they need a lift). Very few hospitals are in the middle of nowhere.

Our local one has a 24-hour McDonald's just outside the entrance, but still people come and sit in A&E to wait. I always want to go over to the big families with kids going nuts and everyone complaining about being bored and hungry, and suggest they take themselves off there, leaving the patient and one adult, who can phone them when they're ready to leave.

I was heavily pregnant (41weeks with a 10lb baby) in a heatwave and there were no seats left in the waiting room. The ultrasound, assessment unit and consultant rooms shared a waiting room. So lots of partners and extras, a few had a whole entourage. I thought I was going to pass out standing so sat on the floor. I then couldn't get up when I got called. I had to roll onto all fours then crawl to a table to pull myself up. There were lots of roblox types of 'ophs' from the effort.

When I left there were still men sat on the chairs with pregnant ladies stood. Bastards.

Some people do see it as an interesting outing so tag along. Usually the same nosey hits who sit discussing other patients.

Reading this, I feel very old! I remember that as a small child, sitting on a parents' lap if the bus/train/waiting room was full, was just what you did. If too old to sit on parents' lap, you stood if someone elderly or ill needed the seat.

Obviously if the child or adult are themselves ill, injured, or otherwise unable to share a seat (or to stand), it's different, and reasons for being unable to can be hidden or invisible ones, so nobody should be judgey based on appearances. But not all of the families taking up seats can be ill?

On a train the other day I witnessed a woman refusing to allow an older person to sit in the (then vacant) seat beside her "in case my child wants to sit on it later". Small toddler child at that point was sitting happily on mum's lap and as it turns out, that's where toddler child stayed. It was 55 minutes to the next station. [Three adults including me stood up and offered the elderly person a seat.]

for some reason you went to A&E with earache.

The very first line of the OP says she went to the walk-in centre for minor ailments.

Of course you put young toddlers on your lap. We all struggle to entertain kids in waiting rooms or on trains but that's our issue as parents it doesn't take priority over people who physically need a seat - I can't believe anyone would bring that up as justification. Even if the standing passengers/patients weren't disabled or elderly or sick I'd put a toddler on my lap because then more people can sit down.

Obviously there are occasional circumstances where it's unavoidable (I once ended up at A&E with 3 other adults and 2 kids, after an accident on a day out
3 other adults and 2 kids in A&E is avoidable.
There's usually cafes or a hospital restaurant where people can sit and wait. There's no need to have 5 extra people in A&E.

"Think hospitals should be stricter on this and say that (adult) non patients may have to wait in the cafe / elsewhere during busy times and enforce it. There should be a sign saying in waiting room that if you're not the patient you should stand / go elsewhere to make room for the patients."

You would have hated me last year then while my Dad was in his last stages of gullet cancer, the cancer and chemo impaired his cognition and a procedure had damaged his vocal cords so he needed someone with him - no way was I leaving him but I didn't take a seat when they were in short supply despite my own physical disability. I'm glad you are well enough to go to hospital appointments alone, I am well enough too but not everyone is.

YABU re small children - they have bony bums and fidget.
YANBU re taking the entire family in for a day out.

You've obviously not met my dd who was supposed to be lying in her cot recovering from a general anaesthetic but was hell bent on climbing out and then was crawling round the ward giggling.

"To be fair OP, you could have had a child on your knee, for some reason you went to A&E with earache."
Think she said it was out of hours, not a and e?

@lilyblue5

Bloody hell You are so unreasonable. You would leave an unwell person standing because your toddler's bum is bony? You can't seriously be that selfish? If it's that uncomfortable you stand! Some people are unbelievably entitled!

I would have asked the receptionist to ask those not waiting to be seen to vacate seats for patients.

"Think hospitals should be stricter on this and say that (adult) non patients may have to wait in the cafe / elsewhere during busy times and enforce it. There should be a sign saying in waiting room that if you're not the patient you should stand / go elsewhere to make room for the patients."

Not everyone can go to appts alone. My partner needs assistance, he looks fine, but isn't. I also cant stand for long periods, so need to sit down. I might not be a patient waiting for an appt, but I do need to sit. You cant just refuse non patients seats. Life doesnt work like that.

In our clinic we have a sign up saying one visitor per patient only and to expect to give up seats if required for patients. Only fair but we routinely have people who turn up with 3+ family members who are very put out when asked to wait elsewhere.