Small children taking up seats

[pigdogridesagain]

I recently attended my local walk in centre for a minor ailment, waiting time was around 3 hours. It was absolutely packed in there. I noticed that there were quite a few very ill looking adults stood as all the seats were taken. However many of the seats were taken by small children, AIBU to expect parents to put them on their laps so that adults can sit down? Another thing I noticed was people bringing 3 or 4 family members/friends with them, again taking up seats that someone who is obviously poorly could have used, AIBU?

Well it's people going to places like that for a "minor ailment" that are helping to bung up the place, not parents taking their children with them.

I tend to find the problem is people showing up with extended families rather than small children themselves too. My friend had similar recently waiting with their DC in a very overstretched a&e. DC was injured, and has medical issues which means they need to sit but the large families refused to give a seat up to let the DC sit down. Friend wasn't asking for themselves to be given a seat either.

Additional (adult) 'visitors' should be the first to give up their seats. If the child is the patient, I don't think it's unreasonable for them to have a seat, either. Otherwise, a small child can sit on their parent's lap, but I don't subscribe at all to the view that an adult has more right to a seat than a child due to being an adult, and if the parent themselves doesn't have a seat I don't see why the child shouldn't have one.

@ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal my minor ailment was actually very painful earache which I had tried and failed all week to get a Gp appointment for! Turned out to be an ear infection that required antibiotics.

Those who are ill/injured should have priority for the seats, whatever their age.

It's probably unavoidable for some people to have DC with them if they have childcare issues, but if they're not the ones being treated they shouldn't take up seats if there's a shortage.

Taking another adult with you to medical appointments is often a good idea (you might need support), but there shouldn't be a need to take more than one companion, and again, if they're not ill, they shouldn't be using a seat.

If you had said “the healthy people should move for those who need to sit” then fair enough. However why pinpoint children specifically?

Ds often looks well when he is ill but that doesn’t mean he is! Even when “healthy” his conditions means he needs the seat more than me so I would always offer my seat not his.

I wouldn’t make my child move. As far as I’m concerned you are not more important then them and why should I have them on my lap for 3 hours when they had a seat.
I don’t believe in this whole ‘an adult gets the seat’ crap.

Excessive family members for no reason I don’t see the point in though.

I can see scenarios where due not being able to drive and having small children you could end up with a partner and children with you in a&e, but the extended family thing baffles me. What’s the thought process behind it? “Come on kids, get your coats on,, Auntie Karen thinks she’s fractured her wrist, she’s on her way to hospital with Uncle Dave. We need to pick up granny, grandad and great uncle Bert on the way and pick up some sandwiches for the wait”.

YANBU that one accompanying person is more than enough and if they're well then they should be offering to stand for other patients.

YABVVVVVU to make assumptions about children. Waiting times can be very long where it's just too uncomfortable, if they're too big for a pushchair then they're at least over 2 stone. It's not always possible to hold a wriggly and heavy small child if the adult has stomach, back, arm, hand or leg issues. They're in A&E, so we can assume they probably aren't well and that covers much of their body. An unwell child could be feverish where they're too hot being held. The child might have additional needs and not like to be held. Lots of reasons why it wouldn't be sensible for the adult to pick them up.

YANBU. If the child is unwell and needs a seat then I'd put them on my lap or have them sit down and I'd stand myself. I don't think children are necessarily less deserving of a seat than an adult (unless it's a sick or disabled adult) but they are more capable of sharing a seat or sitting somewhere other than a seat. (e.g. my DC will happily sit cross legged on the floor - I certainly wouldn't expect my 65 year old mum to do that!).

I should add, that the majority of these small children were clearly not seriously poorly. Jumping all over the seats, playing on phones etc. There were a couple who literally just sat/lay there obviously ill.

I'm not excusing poor behaviour/ bad parenting, but on the many occasions I've been to A&E with my DS you'd probably think there was nothing wrong with him either. Actually he would have been there due to having a severe asthma attack. After pumping him full of steroids and salbutamol he'd literally be climbing the walls with hyperactivity but we'd have to stay in hospital for at least 4 hours before we'd be allowed home. Sometimes we could stay in a cubicle but if it was really busy we'd have to go back to the waiting room. It was a nightmare. I obviously also couldn't have him on my lap for 4 hours.

But YANBU about the extended family coming along!

Maybe I came across wrong. I was just shocked at the complete selfishness and lack of thought for anyone else. To sit there and completely ignore someone standing who is very obviously ill while your toddler jumps all over a seat is IMO selfish and rude! I would never have done this when my kids were small.

As far as I’m concerned you are not more important then them

It has nothing to do with being 'important'. It's to do with needing a seat because you are ill or injured, versus not needing one because you are healthy. If the child is the unwell one being seen, then absolutely they might need a seat (and the parent could stand instead). If the child is just there because the parent doesn't have childcare, the child should stand (as should healthy adults).

@Mia1415

But if he was OK to climb and jump about and climb all over the seats like the kids OP saw then surely he's well enough to sit on a parent's lap and doesn't require a seat of his own (even though he needs the appointment and has every right to be there).

I remember not being able to get a seat at my GP when I went in to have stitches removed. From my foot which had a serious puncture wound leaving me on crutches. People are the worst. I wanted to whack them with a crutch to move.

So a person that is also ill should have there child sit on them for 3 hours ? Making them feel worse? So you can sit down with an earache

I think its the responsibility of the relevant medical department to ensure that those who need treatment can have a seat whilst they wait. Big signs, (some may have to be in various languages) and recorded reminders not to take up space in the waiting room unless there for treatment, especially when its busy.

I’m in 2 minds about it really. It’s very uncomfortable to have a small child on you if you are ill and sometimes people have nobody they can ask at short notice for help. It’s not really about the small child, it’s Bout the adult struggling with them.
Also re the extended family, it can be that one might have driven, one might be someone supporting the patient as they are frightened and they might have travelled some distance to get to the centre etc.
I don’t really think I’d sit in judgement over this, unless there were obviously suffering people standing when obviously well adult driver/support people were sitting.

Maybe I came across wrong. I was just shocked at the complete selfishness and lack of thought for anyone else
People have given you a raft of explanations now. You either disagree with every explanation or you're now able to see why you were not correct to think that in most cases. Which is it?

It has nothing to do with being 'important'. It's to do with needing a seat because you are ill or injured, versus not needing one because you are healthy. If the child is the unwell one being seen, then absolutely they might need a seat (and the parent could stand instead). If the child is just there because the parent doesn't have childcare, the child should stand (as should healthy adults).

But if the child’s not unwell then the adult is. Why would they want a toddler jumping all over them? And they can’t let there child run around as that’s also wrong. So they can sit in a seat.

Sometimes my 3 year old will throw a wobbly if he doesn't have his own seat. I'd rather one adult couldn't sit down rather than the whole waiting room be disturbed by his wails :) People bringing their extended families with them is a whole separate issue though, and YANBU about that.

Ds has always had to have a seat to stop him being distressed because he finds waiting rooms a nightmare but I would always stand if there was a shortage of seats. He also got aggressive when sitting on your lap. When ill he often looks 'hyper' rather than ill. By the time he was 8 he always needed 2:1 support in public places so both of us have to stay with him.

But yes are course there are those that are just inconsiderate.

Also when Iv been in a waiting room I don’t pay any attention to other patients coming in and out. I would be talking to my child, distracting them, playing on my phone and wouldn’t even look at the people around me to notice if someone looked ill.

@Sparkle567 I actually gave up my seat to a lady who was very obviously quite ill.