To ask for your help? DD aged 3 is overweight!

[LumiereLight]

DD is almost 4 and absolutely loves food. She asks for food constantly throughout the day and I often have to refuse. She doesn’t seem to reach the point of being full.

She loves porridge for breakfast. She eats oranges, apples, bananas, eggs, whole meal bread, home-cooked meals, plenty of veg, yoghurts, cheese, beef, chicken etc. The problem is, most days she cries for more and I have to tell her she can’t have anything else which makes her upset.

According to the NHS child’s BMI calculator, she is overweight (92nd centile). According to her growth charts, she is in the 25th centile for height and the 75th centile for weight.

Just for context, my older daughter who is 6 is in the 9th centile on the BMI calculator and DH and I are also both slim.

I’m just really struggling with the volume of food DD2 wants to eat. I give her nowhere near as much as she wants and yet she’s still overweight. What can I do to help get this under control?

I’m so grateful for your help.

OP - just some random thoughts here - my kids have done that thing where they eat in a restaurant (seldom) and are then shocked to learn that the meal at home is not happening as usual. I have heard the "but I'm hungry" argument too, but I interpret that as more them struggling to wrap their head around the change in routine.

My 3 year old has recently started to ask for food a lot. She is tall for her age and has recently thinned out i.e. lost her toddler chub. Her father is 6 ft 3 and I think she's following that side of the family. Are you or your OH particularly tall? I don't think my 3 year old has started to ask for extra food for no reason. My advice would be to not focus on the weight (is she even technically overweight?) and to make meals as fibre-rich as possible - inclusive of vegetables, as well as protein. When my daughter asks for food in between, I direct her to the fruit bowl and she'll take an apple, banana whatever. My daughter will also help herself to full-fat Greek natural yoghurt from the fridge about an hour before bed. In short, I think it's about making sure that satisfaction is happening during the 3 square meals of the day, and allowing her to snack on healthy lower calorie stuff outside of that. One trick I have been using is to say "yes, help yourself". If she's motivated enough, she'll get and peel her own banana. If she's saying it for the laugh, she won't bother if you get me.

Was she ever tested for Prader Willi syndrome? A relative of mine has it and it presented in the same way when she was 2-3 but she wasn’t tested until she went over scales for weight.

@GrumpyHoonMain

Prader-Willi Syndrome is a very complex genetic condition, the Hyperphagia is just one element and is not present from birth.

It is very. very rare for it not to be picked up soon after birth as children with PWS present lots of other symptoms (severe hypotonia / failure to thrive / feeding and breathing difficulties). They often require feeding tubes in their early months and do not develop like NT babies. They are globally delayed in all areas and it is very noticeable.

How was your relative diagnosed? What is their age now? How is their condition managed? Are they on any medication? Did they have any other symptoms?

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Yesterday 21:38Embracelife

Getting tired and wobbly (beyond a typical 3 year old) = check with gp especially as was sleepy baby. Is she hypermobility? Very flexible

My first thought was hypermobility

I would ask you to be careful about how you speak to your DD about food. You clearly have issues around her weight and have said a few times on this thread that she is obese and has been for over a year. She is 3 not 12. You keep mentioning that her older sister is slim as are you and your DH. I worry she is hearing you talk about her and she is using food as an emotional crutch. It can end up on a downward spiral toward an eating disorder. My DD at 3 would have been classified as obese, she was a big baby and was a big girl until she started school. She wasn't a grazer though, she liked three meals a day and perhaps tomato and cucumber olives for snacks. Her snacking was healthy and even now she will happily munch on tomatoes. She is now 16 and a size 6.

@drspouse

Amen.

As a mother of a child with PWS, the way it is bandied about pisses me off.

It's not just a child overeating - it is a severe, life long, incurable, complex disorder.

There's definitely something more serious going on. I would also recommend getting an appointment with your HV. There absolutely should not be a difference of such an extreme amount between the height and weight, 25th and 91at are a reason the investigate in themselves never mind all the other things you have mentioned.

The doctors appointment doesn't seem to hav ebeen very helpful. If things don't get better I would go back and ask for the blood text.
I wonder if when she says she's hungry she's really thirsty, children sonetimes can't distinguish the two sensations. It might be worth trying to increase her fluid uptake.
Another thought is that perhaps she sees food as a comfort again she might think she is hungry but really shenis maybe sad, tired, or bored.

The GP sounds absolutely useless. I hate it when they just fob you off. Sorry you didn’t get more help but please don’t leave it. Being as hungry as you describe after an enormous meal does not sound right at all. Please go and see the health visitor (sometimes you luck out and get a great one!) and I would insist on the blood test to rule out any thyroid or blood sugar issues.

Felt her legs ??
That wont tell you anything!

Self refer for a physio assessment community physio
Self refer to community dietician. Keep a food diary.

Or go via health visitor.

Start taking videos of when she is wobbly.

You need a new GP...

She needs blood tests at a minimum !!!!!!!

I’ve called the health visitor. The lady I spoke to was so helpful and understanding. The local health visitor is going to make an appointment with me to come and see DD and she spoke about a referral to physio being likely. I’m so glad I called them.

Fantastic. I've noticed a change at our gp practice to "come back if it continues" theoretically to put people off.
Please do push for help

I'm really pleased you now seem to be getting somewhere . You are absolutely doing the right thing !

We have family friends with a child like this. He is the same age as my dd and they were very good friends from age about 2. I always knew he was a compulsive eater as it was blatantly obvious. Just absolutely obsessed by food. One year we took him on holiday and I was completely staggered by the amount he put away.

Our kids in that holiday were 12, 10, 9 9 (friend) and 6. Friend aged 9 ate about twice the amount of the 12 year old. Had seconds of everything. .. and when not eating , talking about what he would eat next.. always asking for snacks. It was literally mind blowing. I had heard the arguments before, between him and his DM , with him begging for more food , snacks, crisps etc he literally didn't care .. as long as he was eating... sadly his mum (and dad) usually gave in because they felt so bad denying him food.

It's really hard. As parents we are meant to nurture our babies. Denying them food feels like going against everything we should do. So much of 'feeding' is about showing our love.

However I would really urge you to stick with it under HV supervision.... there is 'nothing' to be proud about in having an overweight child. (As one poster claimed up thread) It leads to utter misery if not sorted out. This part is the hardest. Food issues so easily become complex psychological dramas if not handled carefully.

The sad reality of obesity in children more often leads to emotionally difficult times as a teenager. My neighbours boy is now 19 and 22 stone. Has never had a normal teenage life. No girlfriend because he is too shy about his weight, won't go swimming with mates in the summer, can't join in five a side games etc etc . His parents and older brother and sister are all slim.

He has been to slimming clubs since he was 15. Lost 2 gained 5 and so on about 5 times.. now thank goodness he is on the NHS Bariatric pathway for a gastric bypass - which thank goodness, includes a lot of psychological support both before and after surgery .. so hopefully there will be some light at the end of his tunnel..

I hope you get it sorted out and HV I continues to be helpful.

I do agree with the gp to observe first - blood tests are way more traumatic than a vaccination. my oldest had several, getting the needle in (can be 2-3 attempts), then the blood drawing - its no fun!

@myself2020 my son has been fine with them. Actually after his latest vaccinations his arm was terribly bruised for days.
I suppose they're all different.

There are conditions that mean a child is not able to recognise he/she is full. Worth checking with your GP.

@youareacuntychops good to hear it can be harmless - mine doesn’t even flinch at injections, but drawing blood was horrible. he’s still somewhat afraid of hospital nurses (fine with gp, consultants and gp nurses though as they wear a different uniform).

Blood tests are unpleasant but there's not a reason to avoid them. Please push for the blood test OP.

I'd go see another doc, or push for a blood test

All that toad in the hole etc then STILL hungry? Odd

Our surgery wont do blood tests on a child. You are sent to children's dept at hospital, given anaesttetic spray on arm and gently distracted

@Shouldbedoing i don’t think any surgery does blood tests on kids - we always had to go into hospital, and if its nit super urgent, it takes while

You are doing absolutely everything right in my opinion. I know so many adults that don't have the "I'm full" cue. It's not actually something a Dr can do anything about except advise on a healthy diet which she definitely has. The thing I have seen work for adults is a low carb lifestyle change. Not something you can do for a child without support but I hope the health visitor can both reassure and suggest some things. Good luck op.

Could you get her blood sugars checked?If doctors won't do it u can buy a cheap meter boots or Amazon or borrow one of someone.l to check or can buy wee strips
I'm sure it nothing but my twins were diagnosed type one diabetic two months apart age three
My son had extreme thirst tired dizzy weeing alot was very fast symptoms wise.His twin her symptoms were suptle she got diagnosed negative when he got diagnosed but started noticing symptoms though mild and included extreme hunger and thrush too.when she's had a low or is very high she could eat a horse I have to say no too sometimes.They never lost weight until they had had it quite a while.Im sure it not just would of never forgave myself if it was and I hadn't of said anything xxx
Hope you get sorted and find out what it is