To ask for your help? DD aged 3 is overweight!

[LumiereLight]

DD is almost 4 and absolutely loves food. She asks for food constantly throughout the day and I often have to refuse. She doesn’t seem to reach the point of being full.

She loves porridge for breakfast. She eats oranges, apples, bananas, eggs, whole meal bread, home-cooked meals, plenty of veg, yoghurts, cheese, beef, chicken etc. The problem is, most days she cries for more and I have to tell her she can’t have anything else which makes her upset.

According to the NHS child’s BMI calculator, she is overweight (92nd centile). According to her growth charts, she is in the 25th centile for height and the 75th centile for weight.

Just for context, my older daughter who is 6 is in the 9th centile on the BMI calculator and DH and I are also both slim.

I’m just really struggling with the volume of food DD2 wants to eat. I give her nowhere near as much as she wants and yet she’s still overweight. What can I do to help get this under control?

I’m so grateful for your help.

Also there isn’t a lot of veg in there. Would she eat a soup? Or could you hide the veg in the bolognese?

There’s loads of veg in the bolognese sauce. Red onions, grated carrot, peppers.

So even if each of those veg are 80g on her plate, that’s only three of her five a day and not a huge deal of (stomach filling) fibre.

Give her a hot lunch as opposed to sandwich and definitely 2 slices. If she’s nearing 4 then her appetite will be growing either way. Definitely get down to the GP though as the stumbling and tiredness is a red flag.

Definitely speak to a GP, If your DD is only eating 'healthy' foods like you say she is, it could be something more.
My DS 10 has a genetic disorder, only diagnosed last year - he's tall, not fat but certainly puts food away like no other!
Ehlers-Danlos is a syndrome which causes jelly leg type symptoms which my son has, also can affect the none full after food symptoms.
My DS was a large toddler, always more tall and stocky than noticeably overweight.
I hope it's nothing more, I really do. They not do anything apart from keep an eye on her for a few years. Get the GP on board though, always wise.

Could you try making a big pan of healthy vegetable/chicken soup and giving a mug of that alongside lunch or snacks. I find that very filling

The appetite issues in Prader Wlli don’t start till later. Phase 2b here around age 4.5

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3285445/

My eldest was like this. I saw a HV who went over food diaries and monitored it for a while. On viewing, she said it was behavioural. She was trying to get attention.

So when she would ask the time (is it food time) I’d respond with ‘its time to do a puzzle!’ Or if she asked for food I’d say ‘yes, at snack time. Shall we go and play dollies now?’

I also made sure she got plenty of exercise. A walk to the park for a run around, dance classes, swimming lessons.

She naturally slimmed down on the healthy, balanced diet she had always had, lost her food obsession (Infact she chose to be vegetarian at 5) and is just fine.

At the time I really worried about her but being on the other side, I wish I’d trusted my instincts that she’d be just fine. Good luck.

P.s when she stopped getting food all the time, she’d ask for a drink instead! Ours coincided with the birth of a new baby when it got really bad. It was her way of exerting control over me and comfort for her (she’s not a cuddly kid)

Speak to the gp. Tbh I would have done so before restricting her diet. My dd is about the same age (4in March) and does not eat as many food groupings as that eg.will nibble fruit not actually eat much. She stands on a buggy board for 45 minutes to preschool and back twice a week and sometimes still asks to be picked up too especially if they have been playing outside a lot. She is on the 50% percentile for weight and 75st for height.

It sounds like she has a fab diet so don't beat yourself up about it. You aren't doing anything wrong. I do find my dd eats more than normal just before a growth spurt.

I thought BMI was not a good indicator for children? Please correct me if wrong.

75%

@Sceptre86 BMI is largely rubbish for us all, it has me at 31 and obese, I’m 13% body fat.

Stop asking on MN for fuck's sake. This place is worse than a pro-anorexia site for competitive undereating.

TAKE HER TO THE FUCKING GP.

Seriously.

Please take professional advice. Reads like a good healthy diet and nothing like what I see a lot of children eat! You will get some good advice on here and some silly advice regarding food too.

I'd be more concerned about the tiredness and wobbly legs to be honest. Which you are
Going to see the GP about.

Sounds like you're doing a great job with her diet op.

My dd2 will also eat all day if I let her and whilst she's not overweight she's definitely bigger than her very lean sister.

I would add in more good fats and protein where you need to. Nut butters, nuts, sunflower seeds, avocado, meat, cheese and not any more carbs. Only water to drink. Bear in mind that apples are higher carbs than berries. Raspberries and blackberries are best followed by strawberries and blueberries. Obviously all fruit is good but my dd will happily eat 5 apples a day and everything in moderation as they say! I know this sounds like I'm trying to suggest a low carb diet. Obviously I'm not for a child but I think it's easy to just keep giving carbs to kids and it just makes them more hungry with not a whole lot of nutrients in a lot of it.

Distraction is also good. Play a game first, pop to the park then snack after, get the play doh out etc etc.

I'm sure she will grow into her size. In the meantime take her to the doctor just to rule out underlying. I know I always get tired and sluggish when my digestive system is overloaded though.

My middle DD aged 8 has a huge appetite, a tendency to gain weight and is a bit greedy (dh caught her nicking a Hob nob flapjack yesterday at 10am, and this happens a lot). If she goes to pils for a week in the hols she comes back having gained 1/2st. In order to bring her weight back into a normal range we bought her a fitbit and have competitions for who can get the most steps (not applicable for your Lo but more exercise is always good), and I stop giving her stuff in wrappers. It worked, in fact it only took a week post Xmas to get her back into the normal weight range. She is also broad (like me and her dad, although my other 2 girls are like beanpoles, go figure). I think she’ll always struggle with her weight but I keep an eye on it, and don’t let her snack all the time on unhealthy stuff. Maybe do slightly bigger portions at meal times and no snacking. A decent walk each day will help too. Anyway, what I’m saying is try not to worry.

How can anyone comment on these strange “am I eating enough” posts without seeing portion sizes and the person in question. The fact this relates to a 3 year old is beyond alarming. This is not something for MN, it’s something for a health professional.

Children under 2 should be drinking whole milk, not semi skimmed. www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/milk-and-dairy-nutrition/

She isn't under 2.

Also please don't minimise carbs children need them. Any dietician will tell you it's about balance.

The fact this relates to a 3 year old is beyond alarming. This is not something for MN, it’s something for a health professional.

I've already reported it. The fact that the OP was "restricting" her 3 year olds diet without medical advise is alarming, I would hate to see what she would do with some of the advise on here!

Didnt OP just mean she offers the meals and snacks but doesn't offer more on top of that when she said restricting? The 3 year old has slightly less than the 6 year old

First of all, check with the gp - the tiredness might be something serious, or she is just out of shape.
my kids are similar to yours - oldest is borderline underweight (eats well, but very, very sporty and suffers from reoccurring tonsilitis, so won’t eat for 3-4 days each time),youngest loves food and would eat all the time (he’s 3).
what helped us (assuming your daughter is healthy)

• build of energy by walking several times a day for short stretches, a bit longer every time.
• hide and seek is great ,gives her time to rest a bit
• a scooter with a lead so you can pull for abit if she gets tired (i pull to that tree, then you scooter to the bench, ...)
• go out a lot. there is no food in the park (leave your wallet at home!)
• teach portion size . both have bow free access to sweets, a bag if jelly beans lasts 2 weeks. it took a lot of effort to teach the youngest how to eat responsibly.

OP, I don't know if you saw my question. What is she like at following instructions compared to others her age?

Can she follow simple instructions?
Can she follow a double instruction?

I think all children go through a phase of saying "i'm hungry" when they mean they're at a loose end. My three all certainly did. The constant haranguing for snacks was noticeably less when they were totally engaged in doing things.

I'd swap the fruit for chicken or nuts. There may well be protein in milk or yoghurt but I doubt they are as filling. Along with a GP visit.