Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your help? DD aged 3 is overweight!

198 replies

LumiereLight · 09/02/2020 20:52

DD is almost 4 and absolutely loves food. She asks for food constantly throughout the day and I often have to refuse. She doesn’t seem to reach the point of being full.

She loves porridge for breakfast. She eats oranges, apples, bananas, eggs, whole meal bread, home-cooked meals, plenty of veg, yoghurts, cheese, beef, chicken etc. The problem is, most days she cries for more and I have to tell her she can’t have anything else which makes her upset.

According to the NHS child’s BMI calculator, she is overweight (92nd centile). According to her growth charts, she is in the 25th centile for height and the 75th centile for weight.

Just for context, my older daughter who is 6 is in the 9th centile on the BMI calculator and DH and I are also both slim.

I’m just really struggling with the volume of food DD2 wants to eat. I give her nowhere near as much as she wants and yet she’s still overweight. What can I do to help get this under control?

I’m so grateful for your help.

OP posts:
myself2020 · 10/02/2020 08:52

sorry, forgot: at 3, don’t cut food for her. teach her to do it herself. it slows eating down and allows satiation signals to kick in. give really big whole carrots etc. the more effort it takes to eat the better.

MummyOfBoyAndGirl · 10/02/2020 08:53

I agree with a Gp visit. My DS is almost 3.5 leads a very a active lifestyle & would never need a nap or carried unless unwell.

I hope everything is ok

TheTeenageYears · 10/02/2020 09:14

Is she on or very close to her birth percentile and are there any other outside factors like illness at birth, prem baby etc which could influence why there’s a change in the percentile from now to then?

I don’t think measuring a child by their bmi is in anyway the right thing to do. Both my DS and DD would have been chronically obese based on that but they are both teenagers and still very similar in percentile now compared to where they were when they were born. Neither of them is overweight despite being above the 90th percentile. I really don’t think you should be thinking of your DD as overweight - it won’t be helping and both she and DD1 will pick up on that.

As other’s have said it’s time to take this to the medical professionals. I also think you need a full weeks food diary including weights/quantities of everything eaten and drunk in a day along with timings plus all activity beyond being at pottering around at home. It will give someone a much better idea if there is a problem or not.

Food quantities for children are different just like they are for adults - a child on the 10th percentile won’t need as much food as one on the 95th percentile and an active child will need more than one sitting in front of the tv for hours on end. If you go with facts you’ll have a much more productive appointment I suspect.

OliviaPopeRules · 10/02/2020 09:31

Couple of comments

  • stop comparing her to her sister, they are different and I think your experience of your older child and the fact you are all slim is impacting your judgement
  • I know it's really difficult to strike a balance if she is over weight but please be aware that by denying her food you could be setting her up for disordered eating in later life. I would never say no to my child if they said they were hungry, I might not give them what they want but would always offer an alternative. Her diet looks brilliant so you are doing a great job with keeping her healthy and that is what is most important.
Original poster
LumiereLight · 10/02/2020 10:10

Is she on or very close to her birth percentile and are there any other outside factors like illness at birth, prem baby etc which could influence why there’s a change in the percentile from now to then?

She was born 25th centile, shes been 75th centile for quite a long time now. No other outside factors.

What is she like at following instructions compared to others her age?

Can she follow simple instructions?
Can she follow a double instruction?

I wouldn’t say she has major issues with this. I’d imagine she’s similar to others her age.

OP posts:
Fishlegs · 10/02/2020 10:16

Not going to comment on her diet but just wanted to say that some 3 year olds are lazier than others!

My youngest dd wanted to be carried everywhere, or to go in the pram, and tbh we were on public transport a lot so the easiest thing was to let her go in the buggy. She was pretty chubby at 3, then at 4 we would try and encourage her to walk more, but she was really resistant, wouldn’t even walk the 5 minutes to the shop. It got to the point that I was worried about her, and was relieved to see her run on the odd occasion at the park.

Anyway, she learned to ride a bike at 5 and absolutely loved it. I think that strengthened her legs as now (she’s still 5) she can walk reasonable distances without complaining and is skinny and muscular.

Definitely go and see your GP if you are worried, but keep an eye out and encourage little bits of exercise.

TheTrollFairy · 10/02/2020 10:28

My DD is a big eater, tall for her age but I’m not sure on her weight as I haven’t checked for a while. She is a similar age to your dd.
Just typing this she has had a snack and is still saying she’s hungry but the difference being she won’t cry if I don’t give her food.

On an average day my dd will eat:

Breakfast - fruit and sometimes half a slice of toast (and then cereal at nursery but no additional outside of nursery)

Snack - she just had a small bit of flapjack (she doesn’t usually have this, usually cucumber slices) some popcorn, a fruit bar. At nursery I think it’s usually fruit

Lunch - crackers and cheese or soup if at home and at nursery will be a hot meal.

Snack - fruit either at nursery or at home

Dinner - hot meal at nursery or a bagel and at home will be something like pasta/pizza/chicken with a side salad or vegetables

Pudding - more fruit (she’s a fruit bat) and still has 7oz of full fat milk.

She will occasionally have a biscuit/cake/ice cream

My main concern if your dd was mine would be the tiredness. My dd when a baby was sleepy and does still now occasionally nap but she doesn’t have to sit down because of wobbly legs or anything. I think you need to find out the cause of this because if your DD isn’t active then it doesn’t matter how much you restrict her food if she isn’t burning it off. Also, she could be about to go through a growth spurt if she is small for her age

12345ct · 10/02/2020 11:08

Your daughter sounds like my sisters son he will always ask for more food no matter how much he eats. He is not hungry but loves to eat food. He was overweight from 12 months and is 4 now the doctor has told her he doesn't have any medical issues and has done a lot of tests on him he just has an unhealthy food addiction that he will hopefully grow out of and to restrict his food intake. She has done that with a lot of screaming and tantrums from him but he is loosing weight. He still will ask for food now and then but knows that he won't get any extra and often doesn't bother.

Original poster
LumiereLight · 10/02/2020 11:21

12345ct yes, that’s exactly our situation. A lot of posters on here are saying I shouldn’t refuse her food if she says she’s hungry but I don’t think they are fully understanding the fact that if I did that, she would literally never stop eating. It’s like she’s never satisfied after a meal, no matter how big the meal is.

For example, we went to a restaurant for dinner a few weeks ago. She had pasta salad, cottage cheese etc from the salad bar, she had toad in the hole with chips, she then had a huge ice cream sundae. The portions were enormous and far more than she’d be given at home. We left the restaurant and drove home. When we got home she said “mummy can I have dinner now?” When I explained that the meal at the restaurant was dinner, she threw herself to the floor and cried hysterically saying she was really hungry.

OP posts:
Okbutno · 10/02/2020 11:25

I wonder about blidd sugar issues or diabetes reading your first page of posts. Rule it out with some blood tests from the GP

Original poster
LumiereLight · 10/02/2020 11:26

We have a double appointment with the GP at 12. I’ll let you all know how we get on ☺️

OP posts:
Okbutno · 10/02/2020 12:00

Please do let us know. I always wonder about how people are getting on with things like this and hope they're OK.

Natsku · 10/02/2020 12:08

Glad you're taking her to the GP, that appetite does not sound normal and nor does the tiredness or weak legs.

TheTrollFairy · 10/02/2020 13:05

How did the appointment go OP?

MrsP2015 · 10/02/2020 13:29

Hope the appointment went well.

Crunchymum · 10/02/2020 13:34

How did the appointment go @LumiereLight

Original poster
LumiereLight · 10/02/2020 13:35

Well the GP appointment didn’t get us anywhere. He just checked her legs over and said they felt fine. He said that any further investigations would require a blood test and he doesn’t want to put her through that just now.

He also said I’m doing the right thing with regards to her food and I should continue to control her intake rather than give her food whenever she asks. He weighed her and said that actually she’s on the 91st centile for weight and 25th for height.

OP posts:
youareacuntychops · 10/02/2020 13:39

I'd push for the blood test. 'Doesn't want to put her through it'? It's no worse than a vaccination.

Embracelife · 10/02/2020 13:51

Good luck you do need professional support and advice on this ..maybe psychologist advice

Crunchymum · 10/02/2020 13:52

Well that sounds like a shit GP!!

What further investigations was the GP suggesting (and discounting??)

Okbutno · 10/02/2020 13:52

Wow that's a really rubbish response from the GP. Doesn't want to put her through it?! How will you know what's going on without them. I'd ask for another appointment with a different GP. A female if possible as they are often more empathetic. (in my experience)

GrumpyHoonMain · 10/02/2020 14:08

Was she ever tested for Prader Willi syndrome? A relative of mine has it and it presented in the same way when she was 2-3 but she wasn’t tested until she went over scales for weight.

bobstersmum · 10/02/2020 14:12

My dd will be 3 in a couple of months and is constantly hungry. She chunks up a bit and then grows. Could you dd be bored? I find my dd eats more when we are stuck in with bad weather.

FraglesRock · 10/02/2020 14:14

Can you ask for a hv visit. I'd start a food diary with rough weights of food in it. I find if there's something on paper they tend to take what you've said seriously.

I'd up her protein and healthy fats and cut back on her carbs, that's the advice (but check) if there's diabetes. But hopefully it'll make her feel full. Loads of water to drink.

But equally I've had three year olds who would eat that twice.

That's a healthy normal diet so there's no reason why she's so out of proportion. So please push to see someone else after you've got some evidence to show.

What about a visual meal plan to stop her nagging. Show her what's next meal and at what time. In between she can have water if she's hungry.

drspouse · 10/02/2020 14:18

I wish people had never heard of Prader Willi on these boards - a friend's DD has it - it's a severe learning disability that often also has physical symptoms and happens to have an eating disorder component. A child with a large appetite and no other problems will not have Prader Willi.

Swipe left for the next trending thread