To ask for your help? DD aged 3 is overweight!

[LumiereLight]

DD is almost 4 and absolutely loves food. She asks for food constantly throughout the day and I often have to refuse. She doesn’t seem to reach the point of being full.

She loves porridge for breakfast. She eats oranges, apples, bananas, eggs, whole meal bread, home-cooked meals, plenty of veg, yoghurts, cheese, beef, chicken etc. The problem is, most days she cries for more and I have to tell her she can’t have anything else which makes her upset.

According to the NHS child’s BMI calculator, she is overweight (92nd centile). According to her growth charts, she is in the 25th centile for height and the 75th centile for weight.

Just for context, my older daughter who is 6 is in the 9th centile on the BMI calculator and DH and I are also both slim.

I’m just really struggling with the volume of food DD2 wants to eat. I give her nowhere near as much as she wants and yet she’s still overweight. What can I do to help get this under control?

I’m so grateful for your help.

I imagine it’s portion size , this is how much a three year old should have for spaghetti .

Yea as you said and others said I'd be taking her to the gp for blood tests/ specialist referral as it doesn't sound normal.

Her diets really good.
Could you maybe offer her a 'treat' drink like weak squash/ flavoured water in the hope I may fill her a bit?! My dd is water only 99% of the time as it's better for her. However if she's hardly drank by about 4pm I let her have some flavoured water in a special cup just for that.

My 2y o dd is also on the 75% centile for height and weight, would she be overweight according to her bmi? I know she's not as she's perfectly average in comparison to her friends- maybe a bit chunkier, however still fits in 1.5-2yrs clothes.

What size clothes is your dd in, is she loads bigger than her same age friends?

Are you (as a slim family) seeing her as bigger than she is?

My DD was also overweight at 3. She didn't look particularly chubby, but I could tell she was. When we had her 3 year check, the nurse weighed and measured her and worked out that she was overweight and was surprised so rechecked her measurements. I wasn't surprised though - she had been a very chubby baby and never really lost it. She wasn't a particularly active toddler.

She wanted to eat constantly. She had a generally healthy diet but wanted snacks all the time. I tried various approaches, from trying to give her snacks with plenty of protein etc. in an attempt to fill her, and giving her much lighter snacks in case she was asking out of boredom.

I can't remember what happened really, but she is now a normal weight and has been for years. So I would stay conscious of it but try not to worry too much, it may resolve itself.

It seems like you are probably the problem. You've said how slim your whole family is, so you seem to think your possibly slightly pudgy three year old is obese. You've said she's always been obese and she's always crying for more food... Maybe she's just a bigger person and she needs more food. I think you're just embarrassed that she doesn't fit with your ideal picture of what she should be.

I'm taken aback that your 3 year old child quite clearly should be visiting the doctor, in the first instance because of unusual tiredness and problems with her legs (why was this not checked out after it happened the second time, therefore not a one off?) but instead, you are focusing on her weight and appetite.

This attitude has roots in cultural fatphobia, where larger people routinely receive dismissive and inappropriate medical care because everyone is too busy blaming their weight for every problem.

Your child may or may not have a weight problem, but please take her to a doctor and make sure there's no underlying condition.

If she is constantly very tired because she is in fact unwell in some way, the drive to eat will be strong as the body tries to get energy from somewhere.

The weight / eating really does seem to be the least of her problems

I've got a child the same age and whilst he doesn't have snacks (he's not a 'hungry' child) he eats pretty much what yours does. He's quite chubby looking but not overweight.

I am actually quite shocked you didn't visit the GP after she lost the use of her leg twice. Would you not see a Dr if that happened to you?! Plus the tiredness and wobbly leg stuff. I actually think her weight is the least concerning thing you've said (although you haven't actually said what she weighs have you?).

Take her to the Dr, honestly an appointment is long overdue.

We are a slim family actually and this makes my chubby son stand out because the other four of us look different. He's a totally different body shape though.

Didn’t you get her checked out when she lost the use of a leg??

@mistermagpie

^^ agreed.

Get her to the docs

This is really sad to read, please have your child checked by a doctor, and also consider perhaps feeding her more if she's complaining of hunger all the time. :(

The issue is not that she’s on the 75th centile for weight, it’s that she’s on the 25th centile for height and the 75th centile for weight. So contrary to what the PO said about her ‘just being bigger’ (and calling the OP fatphobic, Christ almighty) is not true.
OP, she definitely needs a GP appointment about the movement issues. Her diet looks good but if she’s still hungry, more lean protein to fill her up and good fats, and unlimited veggies. Also I would give full fat milk at this age.
I’m actually gobsmacked at the PP who have the daily breakdown of food and seems to be indicating they give their 2 year old cake for dessert every day.... in no way is that healthy for a toddler or adults.

Tbh, while her diet you’ve listed sounds healthy enough, it doesn’t sound particularly filling. Where’s the protein?

I would also try swapping her main meal and having it at lunch time.

My DS was (is) like this. How is she with following instructions? DS has a low processing speed and memory and basically he never (or only very delayed) gets signals that he's full. He also forgets that he has eaten. He could eat a generous main meal and half an hour later ask if we've had dinner yet. He would happily eat another meal and keep going until he cannot move without throwing up. It's not a case consider perhaps feeding her more if she's complaining of hunger all the time. if they're off the charts and already eating very generous portion sizes. That would be irresponsible.

It's very tedious. You spend the whole day trying to distract them from food. My standard was to make him drink some water and say if he was still hungry in half an hour he could have something. Also to offer (one of the very few) foods he didn't like.

DS is also very anti sport, because he has poor muscle tone and hyper extends his joints (because you need less muscle strength) and has had regular physio for the past three years. He doesn't have a diagnosis, but they've ruled out everything they can rule out. Please get her checked out sooner rather than later.

She needs more protein and healthy fats. I am surprised you haven't taken her to gp with her physical issues tbh. But I wanted to comment as I am hypermobile and was called a lazy child as I hated walking any distances. I also remember days when my leg wouldn't work properly as I had done too much the day before Even now it really hurts to walk much.

Straight to GP and you can also ask them to check weight if concerned

The diet you posted is hugely lacking protein and healthy fats.

She could possibly have a thyroid issue which is easy to rule out by your gp.

Her diet is very healthy, perhaps she needs some more filling stuff added or an extra sandwich at lunch.

The wobbly legs would worry me. Hope you get her sorted

I don't want to cause unnecessary concern but look up Prada-Willi syndrome as see if she matches up with it.

People keep asking where the protein is:

Breakfast: porridge oats and milk (both decent sources of protein

Snack: cheese

Lunch; ham, soft cheese & yoghurt

Snack: avacado

Dinner: Beef in bolognese

As well as a cup of milk which she’ll drink most days.

Also, this is one example of a days food. As I said in my OP, she often eats eggs which are high in protein. She loves tuna also. Her diet definitely isn’t lacking in protein.

I’d also like to mention that after the second occasion that DD’s leg gave way, I spoke to the GP who said just to keep an eye on it and bring her back if it happened again, which it didn’t.

Good luck at the docs! I hope they say to bring her in today 🤞🏼

OP your daughter is perhaps in bad habits of turning to food when bored. Get her out and about as much as possible.

Fill her up with root veg like swede, carrot, squash, parsnip etc at meals.

You will get the same thing on mnet every time:

1. she may be due a growth spurt/Will suddenly get v tall (This can be true, but it's also true that overweight children attain their adult height earlier. They also hit puberty earlier, and thus stop growing, so end up no taller as adults but with the same weight issues).
2. she needs more protein British children generally get plenty of protein - far more than children in many other countries. Children need a balance of carbs, fats and proteins. There should be enough protein in your daily example.
3. weight charts are rubbish, slim active children come out overweight because muscle weighs more than fat. Children simply cannot build that much heavy muscle, they don't have enough testosterone! Very few genuinely slim children will have weight percentile substantially exceeding height. Our society has forgotten what children should look like - their ribs should be visible.
4. my 4yr old eats adult portions, plus puddings, plus huge snacks, and is skinny. There may be odd toddlers for whom this really is true, I've never met one. I know lots who's parents say this who look chubby to me, or are served a lot of food and make a mess of it on the plate but do not actually swallow it all.

Her diet sounds excellent compared to most three year old diets.

It’s a tricky one. I would get the tiredness/balance checked. Probably nothing but could to get ticked off. For example she could be anemic and craving more food subconsciously. Anaemia is common in younger ages, especially when drink a lot of milk. I would also get celiac checked by GP.

What does she look like, never mind the charts? A healthy child has glowing skin, no dark circles, plump but not overly so cheeks.

My four year old has a massive appetite and definitely snacks for boredom but is distracted easily. I am not a fan of the constant snacking either. I agree they need an afternoon snack but so many kids just eat all day when they are whining/bored/to get in buggy/to get in car and it’s not helping

Also there isn’t a lot of veg in there. Would she eat a soup? Or could you hide the veg in the bolognese? Some blueberries with the porridge?

There are medical conditions that mean that the person never feels full so definitely worth speaking to Dr, especially with the exhaustion sue displays, something is a miss here.