AIBU to think taking a “Mental Health Day” is a bit wanky?

[Throwawaytheatre]

Honest disclaimer: I’m not trying to minimise mental illness... I’ve suffered with depression myself and attempted suicide three times since I was 16.

I work in management in a corporate environment. Over the past couple of years I’ve seen a rise in my staff (and I hate to say, it does tend to be the younger ones) taking what they call “mental health days”

Now if your mental health is so bad that you cannot get out of bed, come into work and do your job (or at least reduced duties) then you have my upmost sympathy. And when you come back, I would expect occupational health involved and a support plan to help you manage your illness.

But... you shouldn’t take a day or two off - which will have a detrimental impact on the rest of the team - just because you are bit tired or stressed. Especially as in my industry, you don’t work weekends and so are never more than five days away from your next day off.

I firmly believe that if you are capable of being in work, you should be in work. You are an adult, with contractual obligation and responsibility that you get paid to fulfil.

To further clarify; I’m talking about when members of my team call in sick for one day (often a Monday or Friday) and upon their back to work interview tell me that they were just “mentally exhausted” or “needed to recharge”, when I suggest the route of occupational health or support they don’t want that - they agree there is nothing we need to change to support them.

I had one young lady take three days sickness, go to Disneyland Paris which was plastered all over Facebook; and then upon return tell me it was a “mental health break”. She had not diagnosed condition and no intent on seeking any medical assistance she just “needed a break”

Prompted by a member of my team texting me this morning to say they will be having tomorrow off as “it’s been a stressful week, and [they] don’t feel they have fully recovered over the weekend.”

I agree good employers should have paid annual leave and paid sick leave. And flexibility about circumstances and life events. However on the employees side I think they should do what they can to make themselves available for work unless ill.

Even bereavement leave most employers only seem to give a week for a parent.

I'd tried taking a few sick days due to mental health issue. My boss rang me the next working day with a query that could have waited; I was massively stressed by the call.

I year later - off sick for 16 months with mental health issues. I've now lost my job and am agoraphobic and on 2 medications.

Ooh for mental health to be taken seriously.

I run my own business:

One of the reasons I do is because my heath is unpredictable. I need a job where I can rest if I need to.
I have also chosen not to have children for this same reason.

I have 4 employees and the work they (and I) do is physical and can be emotionally draining. I encourage them to take time off before they burn out because I need them to enjoy their job, if they enjoy their job they work better and more, and I make more money.
It serves no one if my staff are burnt out and miserable.
I would rather support my staff to have a life where they can take regular rests and be flexible as long as the work is getting done, than have a high turnover or have to pay for long term sick.
I am a small business and this approach has meant I've been able to compete with much bigger companies who can afford to pay higher wages when it comes to recruiting talent.

Thankfully not all employers are the same.

A lot of the bigger companies are recognising the issues with mental health and are more progressive than some of the opinions on this thread.

Which employers? Because I have worked for a number of big employers with brilliant mental health policies. In practice, forget it.

They do not usually give paid time off because a parent is in hospital. Maybe unpaid time. But trust me as you get older you will find that you can spend a lot of time dealing with relatives taken into hospital.

I never argued that any of the time off should be paid.

But it's in an employers best interest to have happy employees. It's not nice working in a negative environment, for anyone. Unhappy workers will eventually walk out. If you have capable, smart and hard-working employees, it's in your best interests as an employer to look after them.

A couple of MH days a year is much cheaper than constantly rehiring staff because you don't look after them properly.

Just because others muddle through, put up with physical conditions etc does not negate the benefits of someone taking a day off for their mental health to avoid longer term sick leave.

that's the point, everyone needs the odd day off
Unfortunately, the majority of people cannot take the days off they need.

Calling CF someone who "abuses" the system? But what is abusing it? Everyone would benefit at some point of a break.

If a mental health day is just an excuse to get an extra day or have a long weekend to go on holiday then I agree with you.

On the other hand, I have had some very tough personal circumstances recently that work know about and as a result have take two single sick days. The first day I literally could not stop crying, not very conducive to working. The second day my terrible bout of insomnia got the better of me and I called in sick as I was too exhausted to even watch television.

I probably could have got myself signed off for a couple of weeks but I wanted to try and keep my routine and not let my team down.

@adaline A lot of employers do not look after staff. I am not defending this by the way. But workplaces have become harsher places to work IME, while having more progressive looking policies and pr.

@windymillersmill

I didnt say that! I was quoting @wombatsandpythons from an earlier page. I should have tagged but it was in bold. I didn't say that or have that view..

Thanks @Stealthpolarbear i appreciate that.

In fairness I think I probably made the right decision by going in but the Attitude of the OP is upsetting. You have no idea what people are dealing with, surely having someone in work at breaking point is not effective.

It makes me laugh, as part of our compulsory training bullshit every year we have to watch videos on stress and mental health awareness.

I'm a mental health first aider, can I tell somebody in tears in front of me to take some time to regroup? Like fuck.

It's box ticking pure and simple. Corporations give not one fuck about tgeir staff, they just make appropriate noises to fulfil government requirements.

@TryingToBeBold My apologies, I didn't realise.

A lot of employers do not look after staff. I am not defending this by the way. But workplaces have become harsher places to work IME, while having more progressive looking policies and pr.

This I agree with completely.

Corporations give not one fuck about tgeir staff, they just make appropriate noises to fulfil government requirements.

not true

if nothing else, they care about results, and they are well aware that efficient and dedicated staff pays off.
No one is indispensable, no one, but it's a waste of resources to have inefficient staff or to find new one. So in that way, at the very least, they do care.

@TheOriginalEm I agree it is box ticking. I think employers were more supportive in the past, while having none of the policies or pr.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor, have you absoluely any idea what it is like to have an autisic child having a full on meltdown, not being able to breathe, getting themselves all worked up, threatening to kill themselves ect, you find that and excuse do you?

Saying that you need a full MH diagnosis to take MH days is like saying you need to have a long-term physical condition to take regular sick days. If you think people don’t need to take the occasional day off for their mental health, what do you do when someone calls in to take an occasional day off for an upset stomach, a bad cold, etc?

I think the OP is a terrible manager. I’m glad I don’t work there. What are you doing, OP, as the manager to support your employees in the first place so that things don’t get to the point where they need MH days? What are you doing to help reduce the stress in the workplace? Right now it seems your attitude and your inexperience off people management is what’s causing all their stress. They are being honest with you. They need support in the work environment. Instead of moaning about the time they are taking off how about you take some time to reflect on the health of the workplace? If you’re the manager, you know that everything starts and ends with you and your actions.

I have suffered with depression and anxiety for more than half of my life. My 'mental health days'? Saturday and Sunday. There are some people who have a genuine need for a few days (like @whostolemy - you had so much to deal with, I really hope things are better for you now?) but sadly people now use mental health as a flake out, and generally it's people who've never really struggled with it. Going to hit them like a bloody truck if that ever happens.

I have a colleague that does this and I try to be supportive but it does have implications for the rest of us.

She was signed off with stress and came back six months later (our company only pays full sick pay for 6 months). She has been back a year now but her duties that were absorbed by the rest of the team during her absence can’t be handed back to her because she doesn’t feel able to cope with them all. Fair enough, our managers tried to hand them back over on a phased basis but it would always result in her coming into work Monday then needing to take a ‘mental health day’ on Tuesday, and repeat repeat repeat. I don’t think she’s worked a full week since her return. Like I said, I try to be understanding but myself and my other colleagues often get so burnt out having to effectively do 1.3 people’s work. The MH days clearly dont have any effect on her MH either because she was signed off sick again for a month over Christmas and flew back to her home country. Management seem to be afraid of being seen as discriminatory when it comes to MH so are utterly shite at dealing with all her days off, nothing ever gets said. Her current workload is all admin stuff meant to be done two grades below her pay grade and she barely sees any of that through. There isn’t the funds to hire a replacment at the same time as paying her so on it continues. I often wonder how this will end.

The harsh part of me thinks if you can’t cope with the job, or the hours indefinitely you need to either reduce your hours so you can have that time for yourself or get a job that doesn’t make you as anxious. The compassionate part of me knows how important mental health can be and wants what’s best for my colleagues even if that means having a few extra days off. Employers need to look at the bigger picture though.

A genuine mental health day - feeling like you can't cope being at work etc. then sure, that's fair enough as a sick day. Feeling a bit tired and fed up, no, that's what annual leave is for. 3 days to go to Disney Land is daft and just trying to get bonus leave.

A few mental health days where you actually take a break, have a day to yourself to just relax, isn't that bad.

But to use that as an excuse to go to Disneyland? Not on. That should be annual leave. She knew she had that booked prior, you don't just decide on Thursday night to go to Disneyland. She just didn't want to use a days annual leave.

sunfloweryy
Unless your colleague has told you everything that happening or you are her line manager you have no idea what's actually going on. You cant just rock up to the GP and get signed off for 6 months for just anything.

I’d rather someone genuinely took 1 day and came back rested than Kept going reached breaking point and got signed off for 2 weeks