Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a mid year baby?

136 replies

anotherseasonchange · 09/02/2020 07:38

I have a September birthday.

I hate it, and I’ve always hated it. I had a cousin born at the end of July, but in the same school year. If I did anything well at school, it was always pointed out that ‘she’s a year older than ‘Emily’, really.’

I hated the way that for the duration of the school holidays my parents would say I was the age I would be in September.

I hated the way that my birthday happened almost as soon as the school year began.

These are all really super petty reasons and I know the real reason is that I hate turning 30, 40, whatever, almost a year before most of my peers.

I know this is ridiculous. I know people have good reasons for avoiding some months, mostly Christmas and July/August because of academic disadvantages, but ideally I’d really want a child born between March and May.

Maybe thinking about it it’s more that I don’t want my child to be like me Sad

This is a totally hypothetical child, by the way.

OP posts:
aNonnyMouse1511 · 09/02/2020 08:51

I completely agree. However my reasons were different.

I didn’t want to be pregnant in the summer. And I didn’t want a winter baby.

I timed both pregnancies so babies were born around April time. Luckily it worked for us

Elbeagle · 09/02/2020 08:54

My DC are November, July and January. Pros and cons to each.
Nov and Jan are a pain due to proximity to Christmas and crap weather for birthday parties. July born is in reception and I worried about summer born disadvantage but she’s taller than a lot of her peers, was reading before she started school and is doing really well. We’ve also had a few lovely birthday parties for her in the garden!

BecauseReasons · 09/02/2020 08:55

Maybe you could try to get involved in more social activities to try and make friends?

Original poster
anotherseasonchange · 09/02/2020 08:57

There’s not really loads but possibly. Thanks.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 09/02/2020 08:58

I think november or february march , april birthdays are a safe bet, but most people have got at least one issue with where their birthday is. Although im beginning of july and i like it

Ilikeviognier · 09/02/2020 09:03

I’m afraid I agree with all the people who have said you don’t get to pick when they are born. Mother Nature decides and frankly, who cares as long as they are healthy.

Original poster
anotherseasonchange · 09/02/2020 09:04

To be fair, I said in my OP that it’s ridiculous and I’ve maintained that throughout.

OP posts:
Lampan · 09/02/2020 09:06

I love my September birthday. Made no difference academically as I was actually one of the youngest in my year at school. But I loved having something to cheer up the ‘back to school’ period, and also it helped me make friends in freshers week at university. Friends are generally around at that time of year if I decide to celebrate.
Now I’m older it’s a great time of year to go on holiday if I feel like spending my birthday abroad. Often it’s lovely weather in the UK if I don’t go away. And it’s not too close to Christmas either. Yes I’m very happy with my September birthday so I’m sure if you ended up having a child in September there are positives too!

BecauseReasons · 09/02/2020 09:08

Also, sometimes I've been regretful about my summer born's birthday, but then I remember that the egg that became her would've been released when it was, regardless of whether it fertilised or not. She was either going to have a summer birthday or no birthday at all, so there's no point feeling guilty about it- I had no way to give her a different birthday.

Ilikeviognier · 09/02/2020 09:08

Fair enough OP but my advice to you if you’re 39 and want a child would be to get cracking ASAP and pay no attention to possible birth months. I speak from experience having Needed Ivf for low ovarian reserve.

As for the birthday issue- mine is immediately after Xmas and that sucks too. It is what it is.

TheVanguardSix · 09/02/2020 09:09

By the time we hit late 30s/early 40s, fussing about when we have kids isn't wise, OP. I speak from experience. Go with what mother nature blesses you with. I think fretting over the month you'd give birth is sort of masking the anxiety you might be feeling about having children full-stop. Having a baby at any time is an enormous gift. I wish you all the best.

CookieBlue · 09/02/2020 09:11

You might end up not caring OP. I was desperate for a spring or summer baby (I get quite depressed over the winter months and was concerned about PND). We ended up trying for over a year which included one very traumatic miscarriage. I’m now pregnant and fingers crossed will be due in September. I’m definitely at the point where I couldn’t care less about the due date! Xmas day, January, nothing would bother me anymore. It’s only a birthday, there’s a million other more important things to worry about when it comes to having babies and children.

Dividingthementalload · 09/02/2020 09:11

Not read the thread but data shows summer borns are marginalised for a long time academically. Even when theoretically they catch up, around 8/9, their academic blueprint is set and they remain under confident and insecure. Many now defer August babies as a result. You are very unreasonable!

caramellasagne · 09/02/2020 09:12

I said to dh last year I’d live another baby and we agreed to start trying after Xmas as we wanted to avoid August .... just because our dc always nap in the day till 4.5 and we would have to do a summerborn deferring reception start etc just a load of faff etc

Anyway I was on the mini pill. I never got my period in December baby is due mid August 🤣 it’ll be fine it makes us laugh now after the initial wtf !

OhTheRoses · 09/02/2020 09:13

One of ds's friends is 29th Feb. His 6th birthday is coming up. Always celebrates in style when he has an actual birthday every leap year. It cd be worse op, far worse.

Dividingthementalload · 09/02/2020 09:15

I have a summer born. I totally agree with pp who said I want HER, not a baby born another time. So largely semantics - and i didn’t dream of trying to plan, just being genuinely grateful that pregnancy wasn’t that tricky for us - but the data is there.

Op you sound sad. Sorry to hear that. It can be all consuming can’t it? Can you get out into fresh air kore. Sooooooooo helps me. Wishing you a psychological lift.

zafferana · 09/02/2020 09:16

YANBU OP. I had a Nov baby first time around and hated being cooped up in the house with a newborn all through the worst part of the year. I was lonely, bored and miserable. Second time around I wanted a spring baby and DC2 is May born. Much nicer month to be giving birth and much nicer birthday. However, academically it is a disadvantage for him, as he's dyslexic, as well as being one of the younger ones in the year and he feels he has to wait ages for his birthday, while watching everyone else turn the next age. Once you leave school though, it's great to have a birthday at a nice time of year. I'm winter-born and it's rubbish!

Selfsettling3 · 09/02/2020 09:17

@anotherseasonchange
It’s definitely 25%
www.nct.org.uk/pregnancy/miscarriage/miscarriage-your-questions-answered

OhTheRoses · 09/02/2020 09:17

DH is August and was always top of the class, took a first and got an award for his performance in professional exams.

DD May went to Cambridge like her December brother.

I'm July. Dropped out of uni but no matter - still did ok.

I think the academic stuff is hogwash. Children need to be encouraged to meet their pitential whenever they are born.

Dividingthementalload · 09/02/2020 09:18

Congratulations caramel! Deferral process is now very easy and in most places routinely accepted. We have several applications a year. In 4 years it’ll be like Scotland and totally the norm. I’ve never regretted deferring my summer born, she fits perfectly into her current class.

RhubarbFizz · 09/02/2020 09:19

YANBU as it is your experience. But if I was had my child early 40s, I was just thrilled I had that child after a long journey rather than care what month they were born it tbh. Now if I was in my 20s I may have targeted what I thought was ideal as I would have had years to get there. But what I think now, having children is different to what I thought before having one tbh!

Dividingthementalload · 09/02/2020 09:21

Oh the roses, glad you’re family are the exceptions but the data is so well established that the DfE recognise it and allow deferral. Doesn’t mean no August borns will be bright/sporty but most aren’t ready for the rigours of the current reception curriculum at 4 plus a day. I’ve seen it from both angles and the ones who struggle REALLY struggle and rarely get their confidence back at any point in primary.

Chista · 09/02/2020 09:22

My birthday is in July, there were exams on or around my birthday. I excelled in school even though I was the youngest in my year. I didnt care much about being the last to drive, I saw it as heh I get to be chauffeured around by my friends for a while. Drinking well that was the best part of being the youngest, I watched everyone make utter idiots of themselves when they finally turned to drinking age, it made me decide not to drink.
I am timing my next one to be a July baby

HitItAsHardAsYouCan · 09/02/2020 09:22

You don’t actually have much control over when a DC is born though, so all this worrying is irrelevant really.
Sorry if that doesn’t sound very sympathetic, but it’s totally out of your hands.

PeridotPassion · 09/02/2020 09:23

Ds2’s birthday is the middle of April.

It falls smack bang in the middle of the Easter holidays and is a pain in the arse. He’s nearly ten and has NEVER been able to (successfully) have a big/all class party like his friends have because people are away, people forget after a week off school etc. Not to mention the fact that at least one person, every year, gives him an Easter Egg as a gift.

Ds1 is at the end of January and that’s much better...Xmas seems a lifetime ago by the end of January and it’s in school time so weekend parties have always had good attendance.

There will always be positives and negatives to a birthday any time of year so I don’t think there’s much point worrying.

Swipe left for the next trending thread