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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Odd phone call by woman to DH mobile -what could this be?

186 replies

balanceact · 08/02/2020 21:13

Got a call this week on DH mobile. I rang the number back. Woman answered, sounded surprised. Said sorry wrong number.
I asked who she was trying to get in touch with and she started to sound a little nervous and said she was trying to get hold of her partner and had got hold of him now.
I replied that I find it unusual that she would dial an incorrect number for her partner as surely it would be in contacts?
She then hung up.
I copied the phone number down and I rang it back again only to be told I have dialled an incorrect number and to consult my directory.
How can this be??

OP posts:
KatharinaRosalie · 09/02/2020 09:31

Do you both normally answer each others phones? And not only that, check and call back in case of missed call? I would find it really odd if I call for example a colleague and their wife calls me back to enquire who I am and what I want.
If DH's phone is ringing and he is out, (and the phone is in a position allowing me to see the screen), and it's for example MIL, I might pick up and say he's not available and will call back. as she will otherwise call again and again and panic that we're all dead
I would never call back to unknown missed numbers though. Is that what other people commonly do?

LuckyAmy1986 · 09/02/2020 09:36

Yes, DH would be really angry if I answered his phone then called back a missed number. Why not just take the phone to the kitchen and let him do it?

He’d be really angry? Why?

Tinnedpeachesandcream · 09/02/2020 09:49

He’d be really angry? Why?

I’d be furious if I had a missed call on my private mobile and DH decided to call them back for me to find out who they were. It’s my personal phone and it’s absolutely none of his business who is calling me. (I am not having an affair BTW and have nothing to hide) but it is the principle and the right to privacy. In the same way I wouldn’t be happy about him reading my messages, or my diary. They are private conversations with other people. Being married doesn’t mean that you lose your right to have independent relationships with others.

Tinydancer123 · 09/02/2020 09:50

What has happened ?

El2El · 09/02/2020 10:19

Have you tried googling the number OP?

Myohmy111 · 09/02/2020 10:42

Exactly, Tinned. This seems to have been entirely overlooked. I know it’s a cliche but has the roles been reversed....

Myohmy111 · 09/02/2020 10:43

*had the roles been reversed

EmeraldShamrock · 09/02/2020 10:54

Yes, DH would be really angry if I answered his phone then called back a missed number
Mine wouldn't be angry but very Hmm
I think it is strange to not only answer you partners call but ring back a missed call.
It isn't usual. When I ring some of the men in work to check on jobs the partner answers or will call back, "Who is this" I feel like saying well you are not Tommy I rang.I have to explain they are a colleague or sub contractor it is very cringy for the men. Grin
Unless you have other reasons I'd let it go. How could she block you if you called back in your number for the first time. She could be at a meeting, in the loo.

SW16 · 09/02/2020 11:00

Unless I was busy and said ‘could you get that for me please’ I would be very Hmm if my DH answered my phone. (Unless you could see it was one of the kids calling, for example) And more so if he took it upon himself to call back.

whatevertr · 09/02/2020 11:04

I’d be furious if I had a missed call on my private mobile and DH decided to call them back for me to find out who they were.

I'm so pleased this is finally being discussed. I scrolled through the first replies so confused as to why people weren't bringing this up?!

SW16 · 09/02/2020 11:05

“I would find it really odd if I call for example a colleague and their wife calls me back to enquire who I am and what I want”

This.

And I get lots of work related calls. The person needs to speak to ME. If there is a message to be left, that is what voicemail is for. I would find it cringey if a work contact called me and got DH on the phone.

EmeraldShamrock · 09/02/2020 11:06

@whatevertr Me too. Though the double standards on Mnet never fail to amuse me.

SW16 · 09/02/2020 11:10

whatever I asked yesterday but was told it’s normal between people ‘sharing a life’.

Maybe for some.

In ye olden days when everyone used a shared landline it was different.

LuckyAmy1986 · 09/02/2020 11:12

Really angry though? I suppose it depends on the relationship. But say DH was cooking and I had his phone next to me in the lounge and a random number called, I would definitely pick it up, although if I though I could run to the kitchen in time I might try.

If He then got angry because he thought that I was picking it up because I thought he was having an affair then that would be an issue for me. Like him assuming that was my reason rather than just being helpful while he was busy would really bother me. We don’t have that kind of marriage though and neither of us would be really angry if the other picked up a phone call. In fact once I missed an important call from the GP calling from withheld because I was upstairs and he didn’t get it. So that pissed me off!

whatevertr · 09/02/2020 11:20

Luckyamy I understand answering a phone if it's ringing right next to you and they're not in the room.
But seeing a missed call, calling it back and then basically GRILLING the caller to find out who it was, asking questions about the set up of her contacts... then calling back AGAIN when the woman hung up (understandably)....? Nahhhhh Confused

ReturnofSaturn · 09/02/2020 11:21

Could it be a sex worker?

I'm sure I've read threads on here before where that's been the case, and when the number has been rung, it's said an out of service number or similar?

Might be misremembering though.

PhoneLock · 09/02/2020 11:21

I'd answer a call on my husband's mobile if he wasn't around to take it himself. It might be something important or urgent, or something that I can deal with straight away. His phone rings so rarely that it usually is something important.

I wouldn't ring a missed call back though unless it had just rung and was a number I recognised.

FizzyGreenWater · 09/02/2020 11:25

I think you know what all this points to.

Presume you've searched that number on FB?

If it's dead now, straight away, it's unlikely to be her main number with Whatsapp pic etc - sure you've checked that too.

Watch, wait, and start checking out your DH's movements very, very closely.

AnnDaloozier · 09/02/2020 11:25

Number blocked I think.

Jaxhog · 09/02/2020 11:35

If it's since gone inactive, my guess would be a spam call of some kind. They can 'spoof' a number that doesn't exist.

AnnDaloozier · 09/02/2020 11:38

No. It’s obviously a lover Sex workers wouldn’t phone.

MrsWx · 09/02/2020 11:39

Surely the person said hello first - the way in which she answered the call from your husbands number would indicate if there was anything, no?

If I thought I called my DH to have accidentally dialled the wrong number which had then called me back, and questioned me, I would block the number to ensure it didn't happen again.

Madmilkmaid · 09/02/2020 11:58

I used to get a friends uncle call me by accident all the time. Every few weeks for over a year. After lots of calls we realised who he was looking for and that she was a friend of mine. Worked out she was somehow accidentally set it up to divert his calls and I was the first number in her contacts. Meet him several years later at her wedding. Was nice to put a face to the voice.

These things happen with technology. I wouldn't be calling the women back and interrogating her. I'm another who would have blocked op.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 09/02/2020 11:59

Sounds s bit dodgy to me

EmeraldShamrock · 09/02/2020 12:11

No. It’s obviously a lover Hmm
It may just be a wrong number. I have misdialled numbers many times. I forwarded a joke text it included sex and snow it was my first mobile 20 years ago.
A man rang me ate the ear off me. I was 19 thought he's a nutter, he wouldn't believe I sent it to the wrong number.
Now I'm wiser it may have caused unnecessary crap for him or his partner.