White people and racism - Slightly drunk AIBU

[Keanuismine]

Hello MN! I have Name changed like a MN pro for this so no one can possibly guess my secret identity mwahahahaha

So, I have been in the pub tonight and had an experience that, together with 2 other experiences in the last month have made me think. me and my brother are very interested in your opinions.

I am a mixed race woman - heritage mum white Northern British, Dad mixed race Jamaican Rastafarian. I look white(ish), some of my 17 siblings less so. We're a mixed bunch. Anyhow, I was accused of racism tonight and my SIL (mixed race Indian/white) a month ago. SIL is married to DB who is mixed race like me. On Chinese NY I was out with my friend who is ethnically Thai (but Northern British) was accused of makign excuses for Cultural Misappropriation. We are all bewildered so I am asking MN for opinions. AIBU to say this incidents are NOT IN ANY WAY racist.

1. First in incident SIL calls her son -who is 1/2 white, 1/4 Indian. 1/4 black a cheeky little money because he kept running up to her in the park and sticking his tongue out at her (he is 3). A white man with no children with him marched over and scolded her for using a 'racist term' and advised her she was 'doing untold damage to his self esteem" and it "would be seen as racist". She said 'I'm his mum" and he replied "Are you now?" and took a photo of her before walking off. WTF!
2. Ethnically Thai friend watching the parade and the man in front said to her in a stage whisper "Look some of those people in the Lion are not even Chinese!!" she laughed and said "I reckon all of them are Mancunian to be honest mate" and he replied "you might think cultural misappropriation is acceptable but some of us are not racists" and stormed off glaring at her. WTF!
3. Tonight in the pub DB and I were drinking rum and ginger ale and having a catch up and he did a hilarious impression of our dad which was genuinely very funny (he is watching me type this!) and I joined in and was speaking patois which is my dads main language he speaks - and will only speak in his old age, and we all grew up in Jamaica so in many ways its our first language and its so fun to speak and....... Anyway, after a couple of minutes DB went to the bar and a woman sat next to me (we were sharing a table as it was so busy), told me that DB wouldn't appreciate my behaviour and I was being racist by imitating him. I said "he's my brother" and she replied "Hmmm you need to think" and get up and left. WTF? My DB and I were flabbergasted.

So, are we bigots? Why are white people suddenly telling us we are racists? Wtf MN? AIBU to say this is crazy.

We have rum, ginger beer and are sat awaiting your response.

DB wants me to add Jah bless here but I am chickening out

Blimey. Busy times!

Some people are very sensitive my DH is black, DS is mixed race. He calls our son a cheeky monkey all the time!

If you were both mocking somebody else or behind their backs or they took offence - fair enough. But it was your brother & you were both laughing.

I don’t get it personally, people are being over sensitive sometimes.

People come up to me when I’m shopping & compliment DS on how beautiful he is then it goes like this “is he? Ermm is he?” - “yes love, he’s mixed race, you can say those words it doesn’t offend me”

I know! It's been a weird month.

Oh & Jah Bless back from DH

@NewMommy20

I thank the heavens for white people who try. It's a better state of affairs than old school racism.

I'm bajan/irish.

I don't think that you should call children monkeys. Or anyone. There is too much history with it.

Patois accents are really fun though and having fun with your culture is to love it.

Cultural appropriation is a tricky one. I went to school in London and celebrated diwali, chinese new year, Christmas, eid etc. It made me love diversity and I feel brought everyone together.

People can get it wrong but it beats the hatred and violence of yesteryear.

Jah love x

I am very impressed at the seventeen siblings part, I would have loved to be part of a huge family. 😃

(Can I touch your hair)

Hahaha

It’s exhausting isn’t it.

@hotlava sure, anytime, I have long, straight, blonde hair!! Just like my mum!

I was regularly called a cheeky monkey when little. I am white, blonde hair. It is just a phrase to describe a mischievous imp. Some white people are over zealous in trying not to be racist, and get it wrong. Weird times.

They sound like woke wankers tbh. Virtue signalling all around while you are actually just living your life as mixed race people.

@hotlava DB adds "Everyone will someday be judged for what they do, and Jah is the only judge."

@Helendee it was insane. A madhouse. My dad is a lunatic too, which didn't help. They're divorced now, both parents remarried. Our family is a confusing situation.

@kenandbarbie SIL described him as an "Okay dokey wokey blokey" which cracked everyone up. Brilliant work.

It's white people appropriating black people's offence, innit. 😂😂😂

Fucking nonsense. Ignore them all op.

I'm mixed race before people get their knickers in a twist

Sounds like you are running into the 'woke' brigade. They can be pretty annoying with their sanctimonious preaching but they are generally well intentioned if frequently erroneous.
It's all too common that those with little or no experience of the people they are trying to 'protect' that get caught up in this evangelical, judgemental behaviour.

Think your focusing too much on everyone’s ethnicity.

We are all human

I'm white. My DS who is also white is also a cheeky monkey. Nothing you said would sound racist to me.

I think we are living in progressive times. I wish we were further along and people could have reasonable discussions about race. There is so much tension with it though.

My son is blonde/blue eyed. He got called racist at school for calling someone a bumberclart. They didn't care about the insult but that he used "black" language. I took my brown face to the school and pointed out that he is mixed race. It's his heritage too even if he doesn't fit their perception of the accompanying aesthetic.

It's two steps forward and one back.

I got confused after the 17 siblings .... that's brilliant I love it...Sunday dinners must be hilarious..

@Keanuismine

I’ve yet to meet a sane family. Ours is a small one but barking! 😁

Your parents had 18 kids? (misses point)

Incident 1 and 2 involved weird people who should have minded their own business.

Incident 3 the same but I wouldn't have done the impressions in a public place because anyone seeing it wouldn't know the background story and without the background story it looked offensive.

How many kids?

Think your focusing too much on everyone’s ethnicity.

You have missed the point.