White people and racism - Slightly drunk AIBU

[Keanuismine]

Hello MN! I have Name changed like a MN pro for this so no one can possibly guess my secret identity mwahahahaha

So, I have been in the pub tonight and had an experience that, together with 2 other experiences in the last month have made me think. me and my brother are very interested in your opinions.

I am a mixed race woman - heritage mum white Northern British, Dad mixed race Jamaican Rastafarian. I look white(ish), some of my 17 siblings less so. We're a mixed bunch. Anyhow, I was accused of racism tonight and my SIL (mixed race Indian/white) a month ago. SIL is married to DB who is mixed race like me. On Chinese NY I was out with my friend who is ethnically Thai (but Northern British) was accused of makign excuses for Cultural Misappropriation. We are all bewildered so I am asking MN for opinions. AIBU to say this incidents are NOT IN ANY WAY racist.

1. First in incident SIL calls her son -who is 1/2 white, 1/4 Indian. 1/4 black a cheeky little money because he kept running up to her in the park and sticking his tongue out at her (he is 3). A white man with no children with him marched over and scolded her for using a 'racist term' and advised her she was 'doing untold damage to his self esteem" and it "would be seen as racist". She said 'I'm his mum" and he replied "Are you now?" and took a photo of her before walking off. WTF!
2. Ethnically Thai friend watching the parade and the man in front said to her in a stage whisper "Look some of those people in the Lion are not even Chinese!!" she laughed and said "I reckon all of them are Mancunian to be honest mate" and he replied "you might think cultural misappropriation is acceptable but some of us are not racists" and stormed off glaring at her. WTF!
3. Tonight in the pub DB and I were drinking rum and ginger ale and having a catch up and he did a hilarious impression of our dad which was genuinely very funny (he is watching me type this!) and I joined in and was speaking patois which is my dads main language he speaks - and will only speak in his old age, and we all grew up in Jamaica so in many ways its our first language and its so fun to speak and....... Anyway, after a couple of minutes DB went to the bar and a woman sat next to me (we were sharing a table as it was so busy), told me that DB wouldn't appreciate my behaviour and I was being racist by imitating him. I said "he's my brother" and she replied "Hmmm you need to think" and get up and left. WTF? My DB and I were flabbergasted.

So, are we bigots? Why are white people suddenly telling us we are racists? Wtf MN? AIBU to say this is crazy.

We have rum, ginger beer and are sat awaiting your response.

DB wants me to add Jah bless here but I am chickening out

If you have long straight blonde hair and light skin then the answer to why you are are attracting such comments is there. People probably think you are a white woman imitating a Jamaican accent/calling a black child a monkey etc. Misguided, but well meaning comments.

1. Context is important. In this situation the child was being a bit playful/cheeky/naughty so cheeky monkey could be seen as an endearing term HOWEVER generally speaking, comparing black/mixed (or generally non white) people to animals is a massive no and is racist. Not everyone will be happy with you calling their black/mixed child a monkey.

1. I don’t really “get” the conversation/banter, maybe it was just a drunk twat talking BS and getting annoyed for no reason etc. If anyone was racist, it was probably him for purposely pointing out your Asian friend to make the first comment to

1. Again context is important. Your brother might not mind, especially as it’s coming from his family. However others from the same ethic background might see it as piss taking/racist banter. I guess it depends on what is being said and the relationship between them. Eg imagine a random white person coming up to your clearly black dad talking about “beer can is Jamaican for beer” or some other stereotypical bullshit

Jamaican for bacon*

I think people just like to stick their noses in when it's not wanted you're defiantly not being unreasonable! Also shocked you have 17 siblings!!! 🤣

All these people appear to be batshit, op.

It's the woke thing isn't it... white person tells BAME person what they should be offended by 🙄

there was a thread recently about the death of Qasem Soleimani & how it would make things worse in the ME. A Syrian poster said she was glad he was dead as her family had been affected by him. her POV was ignored.

Who’re people are great at being offended. I had several white women try to explain to me, a former Muslim, why Islam is not misogynistic but rather all of the Muslim women who refuse to leave the house with an uncovered choice are doing so through an exercise of free will.

*jist to clarify I look Western European to people who aren’t good at spotting white majority Muslim ethnicities.

Is it not racist to assume your skin has to be a certain colour to be of a certain culture/race?

I don’t get the cultural appropriation thing. Does this mean we shouldn’t have Indian or Chinese takeaways? Shouldn’t eat Pizza unless we are Italian? Not put a Turkish rug on our floors? Get rid of our German Christmas Trees and eat goose instead of turkey at Christmas? But then again Christmas and Easter, the whole of Christianity, is hardly indigenous!

Idiots the lot of them OP.

You have pale skin and long blonde hair. Do you maybe look white? That would explain a lot of this. It would particularly explain that you evidently don't feel impacted by racism that much.

I dunno. The sooner we can forget about all this rubbish the better (also mixed heritage, won't say race as I think it's a pile of crap).

People are the worst

Aww I call my son a cheeky monkey all the time, he’s blonde hair and blue eyes....it’s just what you say to kids isn’t it?!?

There is no such thing as race. You and your brother are proof of that. There is genetic variation across the planet that tells us a bit about the history of humanity - how we have migrated both recently and over many millennia - but there really is no such thing as race.

Accusations of cultural appropriation when applied to celebration of cultural diversity is garbage. Random members of the public thinking they have a right to give the tuppenny bits's worth on situations they know nothing about and have misinterpreted are just rude.

God, the world would be boring if everyone was the same. And it would stifle social progress. Imagine if the using the Latin script was deemed to be cultural appropriation.

1. If you appear white then you don't experience the everyday racism those of us with darker skins than you experience.
2. The guy is mad.
3. The woman thought you were still taking the piss.

I dunno, I prefer the woke brigade........at least they mean well. 💁🏻‍♀️

The place we live has taken in four,. refugee families from Syria. And the.amount of whataboutery and out and out racism is fucking embarrassing.

Rum and ginger, eh? I'm jealous.

@hotlava

Down inna babylon

Peace and love!

Here's one that drives me batty...in the US every person with dark skin is called african-american....I want to scream...
How do you know that? They might just be African, or British, or Chinese and not American Citizens..it is definitely a woke thing!
@Keanuismine. Love the okie dokey, etc. your SIL said...she's brill!

DP says 'Jah Bless Sistren'😁

A particular type of white person has been telling black people what is & isn't racism/cultural appropriation for ages now.

Normally the type who waylays you to talk earnestly about race (because that's all we think & speak about, nothing else 🙄) and bang on putting their own definition on it whilst you're thinking 'look, I-Don't-Care, I'm trying to get to Tesco before it closes'

If you can recognise the type you can duck into doorways on their approach. Or just do a very, very deadpan 'OK' when they race police you.

My mixed-race nephew could pass for white (not if you 'know' black features tho) & I'm often amused at the mental calculations I just know some folk do when they find out 'oh really?' oh, umm.. I didn't think/realise oh sorry I didn't mean it in THAT way..

To all those people who want to end the practice of calling kids "cheeky monkey", good luck up north. 🤣

People love to get offended on other people's behalf. They are trying to stick up for those minorities that haven't been able to stick up for themselves historically. They are doing it clumsily, I would just brush it off, we don't all have excellent social skills or the ability to read situations correctly, bless them they're trying