White people and racism - Slightly drunk AIBU

[Keanuismine]

Hello MN! I have Name changed like a MN pro for this so no one can possibly guess my secret identity mwahahahaha

So, I have been in the pub tonight and had an experience that, together with 2 other experiences in the last month have made me think. me and my brother are very interested in your opinions.

I am a mixed race woman - heritage mum white Northern British, Dad mixed race Jamaican Rastafarian. I look white(ish), some of my 17 siblings less so. We're a mixed bunch. Anyhow, I was accused of racism tonight and my SIL (mixed race Indian/white) a month ago. SIL is married to DB who is mixed race like me. On Chinese NY I was out with my friend who is ethnically Thai (but Northern British) was accused of makign excuses for Cultural Misappropriation. We are all bewildered so I am asking MN for opinions. AIBU to say this incidents are NOT IN ANY WAY racist.

1. First in incident SIL calls her son -who is 1/2 white, 1/4 Indian. 1/4 black a cheeky little money because he kept running up to her in the park and sticking his tongue out at her (he is 3). A white man with no children with him marched over and scolded her for using a 'racist term' and advised her she was 'doing untold damage to his self esteem" and it "would be seen as racist". She said 'I'm his mum" and he replied "Are you now?" and took a photo of her before walking off. WTF!
2. Ethnically Thai friend watching the parade and the man in front said to her in a stage whisper "Look some of those people in the Lion are not even Chinese!!" she laughed and said "I reckon all of them are Mancunian to be honest mate" and he replied "you might think cultural misappropriation is acceptable but some of us are not racists" and stormed off glaring at her. WTF!
3. Tonight in the pub DB and I were drinking rum and ginger ale and having a catch up and he did a hilarious impression of our dad which was genuinely very funny (he is watching me type this!) and I joined in and was speaking patois which is my dads main language he speaks - and will only speak in his old age, and we all grew up in Jamaica so in many ways its our first language and its so fun to speak and....... Anyway, after a couple of minutes DB went to the bar and a woman sat next to me (we were sharing a table as it was so busy), told me that DB wouldn't appreciate my behaviour and I was being racist by imitating him. I said "he's my brother" and she replied "Hmmm you need to think" and get up and left. WTF? My DB and I were flabbergasted.

So, are we bigots? Why are white people suddenly telling us we are racists? Wtf MN? AIBU to say this is crazy.

We have rum, ginger beer and are sat awaiting your response.

DB wants me to add Jah bless here but I am chickening out

If they looked white, yes
But then i wouldn't know where they were raised. (I do realise white people exist in Jamaica and have accents.)

So why assume they are not of mixed heritage as opposed to a racist twat?

Mmm; what a lot of indignant effort on this thread going towards castigating the "woke".

I'd rather people try not to be racist, even if they get it wrong. I appreciate their effort.

Words and intent matter.

My sons are bi-racial. They're still fairly young but I've taught them not to call themselves 'mixed' and to, politely, correct people who do call them that.

Sensitive? I don't think so, and I don't give a 'monkey's' - as it were - if you do.

why is there so much emphasis on this thread on anti racism being too woke?
Do we stop attempting to dismantle it in case we offend blond haired blue eyed mixed heritage people (who actively benefit from appearing white)?
how will that help ?

The OP clearly isn't being racist, and those are extreme examples of white wokeness getting it wrong, but really do we stop calling out racist shit now?

sad thread.

Coolbeans - interested in what you say about thing your sons to correct people. What do you say to them that they should say by way of correction. It's not something I have ever thought to do.

Op just ignore them. We’re a mixed family and I can honestly say we don’t even think about our different skin colours. IMO people who behave like this they’re the racists and desperate to stop thinking like this and can’t believe everyone else don’t struggle with these thoughts too- that’s why they’re “woke” !

I’m mixed race, born in the ‘70s and am just glad that people are trying to stop some of the nasty crap we had to put up with in the past.
Bless them if they get it a bit wrong from time to time.
Their hearts are in the right place.

My sons are bi-racial. They're still fairly young but I've taught them not to call themselves 'mixed' and to, politely, correct people who do call them that

Right...so they tell people they're mixed heritage? Instead of bi-racial. Seeing as race doesn't exist

But does it depend on the race/colour of the people saying certain conten if it is rascist or not? Surely the content matters, not the heritage of whoever said it? I had a neighbour once telling me that she married beneath her because her husband was much darker than she was. I thought that that sounded racist, but maybe not according to some people on here because she was dark skinned herself?!?

Wait, since when is mixed not ok? The fuck?? How is biracial better??

We're a mixed family (white/Asian) and a lot of white people do tend to either be just massively racist or so concerned with not being racist that they end up saying weird racist shit.

"You must get so sick of people asking if you eat dog, it's so ignorant." (genuine quote)

Yeah, it is, so why are you bringing it up?!?!?

@huikexcl

@NotALurker2 Wtf? Why wtf?
A) you don't need to have a child of mixed heritage to have or state an opinion.
B) just because you have a child of mixed heritage it does not mean you will ever understand what we go through."

My objection to that post is B (but I believe A, too) -- I posted that I have a mixed race child. I don't need anyone's permission to have an opinion or to post it, but in any event, I posted that I understood the subtle joy of pointing out when someone gets it wrong, which the OP clearly has and that I have also experienced. The OP clearly looks white.

Too bad if someone thinks I cannot relate because I'm a white middle aged woman. Too bad for them because I have had those experiences myself. And isn't racism is such a great way to weed people out? To the poster that thinks I can't possibly understand because I'm white -- well, if you think we can't relate because of the color of our skin, then you're not the kind of person I want to spend time with anyway. Bye.

@SleightOfMind

Times 1,000.