Friend said I was BU and rude.

[Crumpetsforthequeen]

Name changing as I don't know if she's on Mumsnet.

So last night I took dd6 to her club and when it was over I was waiting for my friend to arrive to pick up her ds who goes to the same club and was hoping to quickly organise an upcoming night out.

DD came up to me and was asking me a question when my friend turned up and without even a hello started talking over DD trying to sort out the night out. I politely said oh hi give me 2 seconds DD just asked me a question and I answered her question then turned to friend and sorry right let's organise I'm so excited for this night out!

Friend immediately got in a huff and told me I was really rude to her, she was talking to me and DD could wait and don't bother about the night out, grabbed her ds and stormed off, leaving me sat there bewildered at what just happened.

Was I rude? Totally prepared to be told I was but I have always believed if you're talking to someone already, no matter their age you respond before moving onto the next conversation unless its an emergency or relevant to the conversation? Was ibu or was she?

I've tried texting her to find out if she's ok and what's going on about the night out but I've heard nothing back.

Well for starters I'd have told the mutual friend exactly what DID happen! And hope that she can counter the ridiculous rumours your soon-to-be-ex friend has started.

What did you say when mutual friend told you that? surely you didn't just stand there and not defend yourself? Your friend is batshit and as soon as the mutual friend said that you should have told her exactly what happened and shown her the message you had sent. Why would you not?

You need your other friends to know what actually happened so you have to tell them despite that perhaps having an effect on their view of her - that's no longer a sensible position to take as she clearly isn't at all worried about bad-mouthing you - quite the opposite; so no need to protect her now..

I would also contact her and ask her what the hell she thinks she's doing. It is perfectly reasonable to be angry with her now.

Confront her OP! Something weird is going on

So you're happy for her to paint you in a bad light - untruthfully! But you haven't told any of your friends what really happened in case they think badly of her? What did you tell the friend who clued you in? Stand up for yourself and ask her what she thinks she's playing at!

If you do confront her you need to be careful where you do it and with whom, she sounds batshit, she has lied once, she will again so either do it in a public place with a witness or in messages. Either way where it's not your word against hers

Tbh she sounds unhinged.

I wouldn't bother contacting her. Just block her, keep your head held high and keep the moral high ground. You sound lovely and level headed and I'm sure any mutual friends will see through her bullshit. If you do talk to mutual friends and they ask just tell them the truth.

You don't need friends like her.

Toxic toxic toxic. Don't entertain her OP. I think you should set your other friends straight if they ask what happened, but don't bother trying to contact her, the way she's treating you is simply absurd.

What on earth? How long have you known this person? I honestly wouldn't know what to do if someone I considered a good friend pulled a stunt like this out of the blue.

Presuming there were other people around when you spoke to her on Friday who witnessed that nothing of the sort took place? Not that I could maintain a relationship with someone like this, but to prove you're innocent?

I had a friend who did something just like this.

I still remember getting the message full of lies about me. I was shaking for ages.

It's horrible. You have my full sympathy. I wish I had words of advice, but all I could do was forward the texts to mutual friends who knew it must be nuts. And then I let it go, eventually after years it started to hurt less. She sounds like she's mentally unwell. I'm sorry OP.

OP - good god, that's insane.
I wonder what could have happened to make her lose it like this? I guess you'll find out in the fullness of time. Hope you're ok, this must be very stressful. You've done all you can and she is being frankly abusive. You could confront her but perhaps it isn't even worth it if this is who she really is.

Wishing you luck, and I hope the issue somehow resolves.