To ask how people afford to have a second child?

[NotYourHun]

Now that DS is nearly 18 months, I’m starting to think about having a second. I’d love to start trying but I just don’t know how we would afford it! I’ve been back at work PT (24 hours) since he was 9 months but I know that my maternity pay would be so pitiful this time compared to last time (as I was FT then) that it hardly seems possible. We have a sizeable (but manageable) mortgage, only run one car (bought outright), very minimal savings, have a lot of family help with childcare so pay minimal nursery fees, and don’t spend much on going out or socialising. I just don’t know where we would be able to cut back!

Do people just wait until 30 hours funding will kick in? Do they go back to work FT first? I just don’t know how to make it work.

I went back to work full time, and waited until DD had started school! There’s 5.5 years between them.

My baby isn't even 1, but if we want to have another we've already decided to do what @Offler is doing.

Yup, we have a similar age gap. This meant that we will only pay child care for one child, that we have rebuilt savings which were depleted during Mat leave 1 and also I regained some professionalism at work and got promoted in the time between Mat leaves

Went back FT.

I had mine 2 years apart.

I look 10 months maternity leave with dc2 which required no childcare, then dc1 started preschool, and dc2 went to a childminder. For 4 months all of my wages (part time went on childcare) then the 15 free hours kicked in which helped cut the cost. Dc2 then at 3 got 30 hours funded which again completely dropped my childcare bill I was only paying for wrap around care.

It was a hard slog but Dh paid the bills from his wages and we did end up very skint some months but survived.

In the meantime my career picked back up. And I got pay rises etc

Waited till DS1 was in full time school, but it worked really well.

I just paid more in childcare than I sent. It was awful. But it was more important to me to have kids close together in age.

*than I earnt

We waited until DD started school, DS was born the week she started school. Worked out well. Couldn't have done it any other way.

The only way I managed to afford it was DS1 being in school before I had DS2. There's just no way I could have gone ahead otherwise - two lots of childcare fees would have meant it wasn't worth one of us working any more. It would have been nice to have a much smaller age gap, I'm quite jealous of those whose children are close in age, play together etc.

It was just childcare costs for us. Having two wasn't much more expensive than having one when they were small. When they are teenagers or off to uni it certainly is though! I suppose I can console myself with the thought I won't have three children at three different universities at the same time,which my friend is currently struggling with financially.

We did the same. DD2 was born a few weeks before DD1’s 4th birthday. It meant she had her free hours to carry on at nursery while I was on maternity leave and then started school 6 months later. It was also useful being on maternity leave when she started school as her she did a phased start over several weeks which would have been a real pain to juggle while at work.

Actually, now I think about it more, the vast majority of my acquaintances which have had 2+ children under school age at once have been those with a lot of Grandparent involvement. Live close to family, one or both sets of grandparents have the kids unpaid several days a week until school age. And that's whether the mother returned to work full time, part time or at all. That is just the people I know though.

Went back to work full time. Had a 7 year gap. Me and, now ex, h worked towards jobs with flexibility to keep childcare down.

If I had my time again I’d go back full time after DC1, have DC2 ASAP and then go p/t. That assumes cheap/free childcare of course.

Either that (ie a 12-18 month age gap) or wait until DC1 started school or preschool, assuming the hypothetical me were under age 35ish and could confidently wait 4ish years to ttc.

Some wait til the free funding kicks in, or the eldest. Some decide that one parent will SAH until the children are in nursery or school. Some build up savings in the years before children come along. Some have parents to help with childcare. Some work shifts around each other so they cover childcare between them.

Some can never afford a second. Some have so much money that they barely notice. There isn't 1 right way.

or the eldest starts school.

We made sure we could manage on my part time earnings and pay childcare for two before we even had dc1.

If you have minimal childcare costs is it possible that your family would help with a second child as well?

The first months might be tight if you take a year off but even if you wait another year or two it won’t make much difference if your working hours are the same or similar in terms of your maternity pay?

in fairness you could get pregnant now and be ok nursery charges wise. Say he’s 19 months when you conceive, pregnancy takes you 2 4/5 months - you return to work at 9 months and he’ll be over 3 and in receipt of childcare funding.

It would mean a maternity with no break from toddler so personally would wait a year (age difference of mine 2yr9 months)

Second babies cost hardly anything for the maternity period as you have your big bits and some clothes - it’s your food shop that’s the first hit after weaning.

No idea what you earn, obviously, but I work 24 hours a week and have just had my third baby. The other two are 2 and 4 so none at school yet and we have no family assistance at all. DH works 4 days a week and isn't a high earner. No benefits though (apart from child benefits for the first two kids).

Maternity pay - you would be surprised. I'm on 50% pay now and only actually earn £40 a month less than my normal wage. You pay less tax for one thing but I was also paying childcare vouchers for my 2 year old which I've stopped as I took him out of nursery while I am on maternity leave. My 4 year old goes to nursery 2.5 days a week but that costs me nothing because his nursery already gets the 30 hours funded (pilot scheme) and has done since he turned 3.

Other things - we live in a small house. People are astonished that we would have three kids in this house but there is enough space really. Three bedrooms so the boys share and the baby (a girl) gets a tiny room to herself. It's fine.

We never go abroad on holiday. We do caravans and stuff but I can't think of anything worse than a plane rude with my three kids, so that's fine.

We do have two cars though and although we're on a tight budget for food/Christmas/holidays etc, we have a pretty good life and are in no way poor. I'm very happy.

In short, if you want it you make it work. I wouldn't change a thing.

Plane ride!

can you try to time it so that may leave 2 will end around the time that DC1 would be entitled to 30 hour funding? That’s the only way I can think of without heavy grandparent involvement

Have a gap between the two.
I start work at 5am and collect at lunch so only half a days childcare needed. I also work evenings and weekends.

I have an almost 5 year gap. I also had a job where I could take DC with me, some of the time.

Stopped at one!