To ask how people afford to have a second child?

[NotYourHun]

Now that DS is nearly 18 months, I’m starting to think about having a second. I’d love to start trying but I just don’t know how we would afford it! I’ve been back at work PT (24 hours) since he was 9 months but I know that my maternity pay would be so pitiful this time compared to last time (as I was FT then) that it hardly seems possible. We have a sizeable (but manageable) mortgage, only run one car (bought outright), very minimal savings, have a lot of family help with childcare so pay minimal nursery fees, and don’t spend much on going out or socialising. I just don’t know where we would be able to cut back!

Do people just wait until 30 hours funding will kick in? Do they go back to work FT first? I just don’t know how to make it work.

We've already been living on DH's salary for years and putting all of mine into savings, so when I become a SAHM the only thing that will change (financially) will be no more increase in savings.

I went back to work full time after first child, after a relatively short mat leave. I had second child 25months later, and had a year off then. The fact that I didn't have to pay full time childcare for that year sort of offset the drop in wages during mat leave. We'd been paying around £1000 in childcare, so felt quite flush when we didn't have to pay that for a year. Still got into a bit of debt during the end of my mat leave, and spent the next few years paying it off. We didn't have any help from family with childcare (no family in this country).

Its a real struggle and it could easily have ruined us. There were definitely times I felt we were holding on by the skin of our teeth.

Expecting DC2 and there will be a 15 month age gap when she arrives.

I can’t afford a second (couldn’t afford a first really) but the way I see it is that I get my career back sooner once they get their 30 free hours and I can go back to being full time.

I think we just took leaps of faith.

I went back to work full time whem DS was 11 months old. Am TTC now so if, hopefully soon, I get pregnant by the time #2 comes DS will get his 30 free hours. Plus we have moved to be nearer family. I would have liked a smaller gap tbh.

We’re waiting til DD is 4 so she’ll have her free hours when I’m on mat leave then be starting school when second one is in nursery.

I've got three under 5 and still work, we need both wages coming in. When I was paying for the first two in nursery I pretty much broke even by working but you've got to look at the long term and I wanted to keep my job.

A big age gap wasn't right for me, but some people prefer to have more disposable income. The thing is, it's usually manageable if you are willing to budget.

We can’t afford childcare for more than one child. I was 38 when I had DC1 so it’ll be far too late by the time I can afford a potential DC2. That means we aren’t able to have a second child.

Nearly a 5 year gap with ours ds1 started full time school 2 weeks after we found out we were expecting ds2. This meant i could save a similar amount as i'd been paying for nursery (no funded hours at the time) before going on mat leave. I'm part time now & part time childcare still costs us £600+ a month until finding kicks in from April.

Babies don't cost much - second babies anyway! Particularly if you get the same sex second time round. By the time you'd be back at work your eldest would be three and would get some free childcare. Just go for it if it's something you want, unless you're destitute it will fall into place and you'll manage.

My DDs are 14 months apart and for the first year I barely spent any extra money on DD2. She had all her sisters clothes. I breastfed so no money on formula etc. besides an extra pack of nappies/wipes per week I barely noticed financially! I'm preparing for the expense to get crazy in the later years but for now they're pretty cheap!

Waited nearly 5 years. Went back full time after both. Couldn't have afforded not to do either.

Most people I know with a smaller gap have never gone back to work and rely on their partner's salary.

Despite our attempt to avoid the expense of two lots of nursery fees, we then ended up privately educating. Thankfully, by that point, DH had a new, much better paid career.

One nanny was cheaper than two nursery fees so did that.

I was a trainee nurse when I had my 1st i was pregnant at 19 1st yr old uni. Had her and then went back full time in the sept intake (i was a jan intake) I had my 2nd when I had been a registered nurse for around 12 months and had bought our house and got married etc. My oldest was born jan 2010 and youngest nov 14. So just under 5 yr between then so I only had to fund nursery for 1. I've always worked full time.

We waited til the first one started school. By then we had both increased our earning potential quite a bit through promotions so I could afford to work term time only. We had to tighten our belts while I was on Mat leave but we'd budgeted for this and been saving well in advance. We'd kept all the baby and toddler stuff from DC1 and made sure it was still in really good condition so we didn't have to buy much at all.

Also having 2 makes holidays abroad are very pricey. Around 3k in august holidays if u have 1 kid it's only 2k

DC2 was a surprise, no enhanced mat pay, I got statutory mat pay, cut back as much as we could, put mortgage on interest only, in the end we couldn't afford a bigger house (we were in a 1 bed flat), so we sold up and rented for a few years. On mat leave 1 I renegotiated all our utilities. I took 8 months off, dc2 was 7mo when I returned.

Twins - went back 22 hours after 9 months to try and pay for double nappies at least! Oh, and for sanity

Couldn't afford nursery so childminder at £3 per hour each one day (2006), my mother one day and PILs the other. We were very fortunate.

Without family help, it would have been tight financially. The costs of nursery were just too much, so if you can find a childminder I'd advise that (though it was always close getting back for 6 from across the other side of the city).

Oh and we were in a 2 bed flat and did a lot of UK Sun holidays!
But we had to get a new car to accommodate the double newborn buggy...

it depends on peoples circumstances.not everyone works or wants to go back to work so dont need to pay child care or have a major loss in wages
they could already be on the benefit system so another baby is not going to add much if your at home already

also many people dont sent kids to nursery and school and keep them at home to home educate

we have a friend that had 3 kids in 16 months.she has 8 in total

she had a newborn then got pregnant 2 weeks later with twins who came early.she already had 5 older kids but 3 are disabled so she got/gets 3 lots of dla top rate then 2 adults(kids parents) on carers allowance so the money she had coming in covered the 3 babies.

kids are home educated and not in any day care as parent are home 24/7

for us we have never used childcare.paid for or family

there is 6 years between mine but i went through 4 years of fertility treatment for no 2

we we receiving dla for son no 1 and carers allowance anyway and was living comfortably

neither kids have ever been in a paid nursery or child care as both parents were with them so that was never a expense for us

I sold the first one.

After dc1 i went back full time.
After dc2 i went back part time and had free child are until they started school.

What did you get for it? And is there an age restriction?

You can have a pretty small gap and still be on ML before the eldest gets free hours. Your DC1 will be between 36 and 41 months when they get their free hours, depending on when their birthday is. Let's say 38 months, and you're on the 9th month of ML then, you could have less than a 2.5 year gap and never get whacked with two full lots of childcare.

I was an older new mum - 39 and 41, so had DS and DD 22 months apart. DH was earning enough so that we could just barely afford for me to be a SAHM, then went back part time once they started school.

Childcare is so expensive in our area that if I had gone back full time we would have netted next to nothing, so not worth the bother.

Five year age gap! We could not afford to pay two full lots of childcare as both DH and I work full time. So we knew we had to wait until DS1 had started school before we had another.