To ask how people afford to have a second child?

[NotYourHun]

Now that DS is nearly 18 months, I’m starting to think about having a second. I’d love to start trying but I just don’t know how we would afford it! I’ve been back at work PT (24 hours) since he was 9 months but I know that my maternity pay would be so pitiful this time compared to last time (as I was FT then) that it hardly seems possible. We have a sizeable (but manageable) mortgage, only run one car (bought outright), very minimal savings, have a lot of family help with childcare so pay minimal nursery fees, and don’t spend much on going out or socialising. I just don’t know where we would be able to cut back!

Do people just wait until 30 hours funding will kick in? Do they go back to work FT first? I just don’t know how to make it work.

This is so subjective to cost of living where you live though. I've just had my second, eldest is 2. Most mums I know have managed to have 2 with a smallish age gap without any real issue. Housing is not particularly expensive around here (although it is in the south), childcare also is not that bad.

We are in the process of claiming universal credit, although before people berate me, we can cope without it as we have been, we have just found out we're entitled to a small amount for a few months as my maternity pay is pretty low, so we might as well claim it for a few months.

I've breastfed both times, we use cloth nappies for both kids. 2 boys so clothes can be passed down, and almost all of them were gifts or from nearly new sales in the first place. My DH doesn't earn much but is in a public services job with good progression and a great pension so gets a decent pay rise soon, he also walks to work so no transport costs.
Pre maternity leave I work a couple of miles from home for only around 12hrs a week, but earn a very good hourly wage which means childcare for a day is one hours work for me. Eldest goes to a childminder so we only pay actual hours of 8-3pm rather than the whole day.

Our bills are fairly low, and we have no debts aside from the mortgage. One car we own outright. Really though, we live well within our means and are frugal by nature. Having 2 (or more) children was important to us so we make it work. I don't feel like we're poor either. However 5 years ago we rented a one bed flat in london and we couldn't have afforded one child in that situation. So it really depends where you are.

Yes basically people wait for the three year old funding easily the majority of my friends and me have a three and a half year age gap for this reason!

I went back FT after DD as I only wanted a 2/3 age gap. Therefore, mat pay should be Ok for mat leave number 2. DS is due on May when DD will be 2.4. So 15 hours funded will kick in whilst I’m on Mat leave and then 30 when I go back to work.

Had a big enough gap between my two that they were only both in childcare for 9 months. By then we were getting a small amount of discount by free nursery hours. I was part time and compressed my hours so that I effectively worked 3.5 days but only had to pay for 3 days of childcare (each) a week.

Then eldest started school and it was much easier.

Claimed maximum childcare vouchers in both mine and DH's salary.

Didn't move onto a repayment mortgage until both were in school. Risky but an interest only mortgage was cheaper than rent.

School age gap (this is the best idea by the way)
Didn’t take full maternity leave (wouldn’t recommend that one)

We have two very close in age but this was only possible because I earn a high wage! I also went back full time when first baby was 6 months old, worked for 12 months then went on mat leave again one year later to have the second. I took a longer maternity leave the second time and enjoyired being at home with them both on a good package from work. There is exactly 18 months between them and we love it!! They go to nursery two days / week now and we juggle the rest between us so we still have holidays, two nice cars and eat out etc. I know we’re very fortunate though.

Full time work and big gaps

Live in a cheap house in a cheap area. Take cheap holidays. No nights out, budget and work hard for promotions etc. Could probably afford a third kid if I wanted one based on the fact that we live a v low maintenance lifestyle by choice.

Went back ft then waited until dd1 went to school.

Increased length of mortgage and took mortgage holiday. Condensed pt hours to reduce nursery fees. My wage covered childcare and dh paid everything else

Nursery fees for one child were about half my salary, so when I was on mat leave with no 2 I didn’t have nursery fees as didn’t need the childcare. So actually ended up with about the same amount of money coming in

We are having our children with a 17 month age gap ( currently pregnant). We will manage by me taking less time off than last time! And by free childcare from grandparents so no nursery fees required. Very fortunate position but we just didn't want a big gap

Went back full time and if we have another, I would aim to time it with the 30 hours (either during or after maternity leave). We could afford childcare costs for two but not for long.

It's not as hard as you might think, but it does take a lot of sacrifices. It really just depends on highly having a second is on your priority list against everything else.

For me, my DD just turned 1 and I'm pregnant with DD2. I always wanted a small gap anyway, but the practicality of being able to return to work FT 'properly' once they both are in school made sense to me.

We have everything from DD1 so the only things we need to buy are a new cot and mattress, so that saves money. Me being off on another maternity leave means my eldest will be into her free hours when I return to work for the second time, which will cover the two or three days I'll be working there. My partner and I both work shift work jobs, so we have managed to juggle shifts between us so we don't need to pay for childcare. I am staying in a job I don't particularly like purely for the flexibility around children (I start work at 6am but this means I finish at 2pm, so I also have time to spend with DD every day regardless of whether I was working or not).

Do I like 5am starts? No. Do I love my job? No. Do I enjoy not having any days off with my partner for the last few weeks due to how the shifts have worked out? No. Is it worth it to have a second baby? Absolutely.

I'm putting my career on the back burner for a few years but it's something I'm 100% happy to do. Myself and my partner have happily accepted that we won't be going on holiday for at least 5 years. We don't splurge on anything we don't need. We bought a house we could afford with me having a maternity leave income.

For us, we are on a modest income, so we had to plan ahead by quite a bit. As a result, we can afford two kids. It just depends on what is important to you, though.

I haven't worked since falling pregnant with our 1st. They've recently tuned 10, and I'm now pregnant with our 5th child. My husband has been the sole earner throughout. His wage has increased over the years with promotions and incremental payrises, but I wouldn't say he earns a huge amount. We budget, no need for childcare, we're not drinkers or smokers, and live comfortably like this. It's obviously doable, it just depends on your approach I think.

Sometimes you don't have a lot of choice...if you're lucky you can manage on your partner's income, or your own covers the childcare.

We both work full time, so we waited and timed TTC so that DC1 was going to school by the time DC2 was born . I am self employed so I went back to work when DC2 was almost 7 months old. No way we could have afforded childcare for 2 pre-schoolers and we couldn't afford to reduce our hours either, so this was the way it worked for us.

There is a 3 and a half year age gap between my two. Take 1 year maternity leave and then the eldest goes to school so childcare costs are kept to a minimum.

@YummyChipCurryDip, I really can't figure out what you mean! Are you taken aback that they spaced their children based on their holiday preferences? Or are you implying 2 close together is cheaper to do those things?

I had 2 close together and took the nursery hit. Currently costs almost 2k/month for nursery 😵😵, but once they're out I'll feel like a millionaire! Until they discover trainers...

16 month gap between my DDs and I work 4 days, 3 days in nursery and 1 day GPs

Another one who took 3 months maternity leave, and didn't have a second child until the first started school.

Also means we won't be paying to put two through college at the same time.

I waited for the back then 15 hours of funding. We planned a 3 year age gap. It's 3 years and 3 days so pretty close! We ended up in about 5 grand worth of debt over the 3 following years until my second got the 30 hours free childcare and eldest started school. Luckily the 30 hours free made us about 4 grand better off a year and we remortgaged to a much better rate so have managed to pay most of the debt off! So now things are fairly comfortable but it was a very stressful time for a few years financially.

Like others have said second babies are not that expensive. You already have all the things you need. Likewise you won't be hit that hard by maternity pay as you are already coping on a lesser wage than you were when you worked full time. Everyone's priorities are different but I had a 20 month gap between all my babies and never returned to full time work.

Had DC2 in the April, 30 funded hours kicked in for DC1 in the September, before being back at work in the March.

Lucky to have a great maternity package and subsidised nursery. A quirk of work benefits meant that work paid for DC1’s full time nursery hours when I dropped to Stat Mat after 20 weeks full pay.

There’s not much spare at the moment, I’m looking forward DC1 going to school in September with grandparents pledged to help with wrap around care. The following September I’ll feel much better off when DC2 gets their funded hours.

We waited until DD turned 2 before ttc so that the 30 free hours would kick in for childcare whilst I was off on mat leave.

DH and I work compressed hours, 4 days each. So we only pay 3 days pw childcare.(currently £800pm for a pre schooler and a primary age child, will reduce further when DS gets his free hours in September)

I am entitled to 6 months full pay on mat leave. I only took 7 months with DD so we didn't run up much debt during my mat leaves.

We opted for a cheaper house so that our mortgage payments wouldn't be too much of a stretch.