To ask how people afford to have a second child?

[NotYourHun]

Now that DS is nearly 18 months, I’m starting to think about having a second. I’d love to start trying but I just don’t know how we would afford it! I’ve been back at work PT (24 hours) since he was 9 months but I know that my maternity pay would be so pitiful this time compared to last time (as I was FT then) that it hardly seems possible. We have a sizeable (but manageable) mortgage, only run one car (bought outright), very minimal savings, have a lot of family help with childcare so pay minimal nursery fees, and don’t spend much on going out or socialising. I just don’t know where we would be able to cut back!

Do people just wait until 30 hours funding will kick in? Do they go back to work FT first? I just don’t know how to make it work.

I stayed home and accepted we would not have much money, nursery is very expensive. We didn't own and I had free rent by managing the apartment building (cleaning, accounts etc)

Twins - so only one maternity leave. Although paid a small fortune in childcare once I did go back. I'm a pretty good earner but childcare was more than I earned, but I figured going back would pay off in the end. No idea how lower earners would manage though

I was working full time between DC, but yes essentially waited until DD was going to have her 30 hours - this actually kicked in a couple of weeks after DS was born. You don't need to buy much second time around and you get to know where all the free activities are etc., but it was a lean couple of years.

I would live on one income. But that works if you have structured your life and outgoings for that before you have children. And save as much as possible before.

If you didn't want to be a sahm or sahd then getting pregnant when one is 18 months old, means that the 3 years funding kicks in at the end of a standard maternity leave. Or time it so that the oldest is 4 or 5 depending on what works for your family.

If money and career is no object then have them as and when you want, I would.

I’m 24 weeks with my second. My first will be 4 by the time he arrives which means almost free childcare. I only do 19 hours a week so my maternity pay is going to be pretty rubbish but aside from making sure bills and other payments are made, we are prepared to basically live very minimally for the next year! Fortunately we will have both boys so baby wise we haven’t had to buy anything much as we kept 4 big boxes of clothes from last time round. I’m hoping to bf but obviously will have to see how that goes. It’s not going to be easy as we have a loan out and we barely live out of overdrafts. But I’m 38 now and haven’t got the years left to wait until finances are perfect (they will never be!). It will all work out in the end x

I went back to work full time, have progressed and increased my wages over the last 2 years, and waited until DD will get the 30 hours funding to have a second.

I feel your pain. We’ve just put our deposit down with a childminder and I’m going back to work full time. For that year until we get the free hours we will be living penny to penny! I don’t know how people manage to have 2 young babies. But then again we have no family to help with childcare so that’s quite a big monthly bill.

We will be waiting until our first goes to school before we start trying for another.

I would massively struggle on part time mat pay though, could you look at going full time again when ttc so that you would get better pay?

We've just stopped at 1 child. DH and I both work full time, have no relatives nearby to help with childcare and can hardly make ends meet (and we hardly see our child in the process).

Waiting until the first child starts school is a good idea, but when we've finally got our finances settled again after having the first baby, I don't think I could go back and start from the bottom again.

I have a 9 year gap which is how I afforded to have 2. So it's a big gap and I feel like I had 2 only children but it's all good

Yep we waited so that when I went back to work after my second we had the 30 hours childcare for our eldest. I also went full time just before our second baby for the full maternity pay although I’m not sure that the tiredness and stress was worth it.

Childcare is a killer. If you don't have to worry so much about that you are lucky. I had 3, and found the first 2 affordable. Now I have one in nursery and 2 in wraparound care. Most of my wage goes on that.

Baby's close together mean double the washing and sleepless nights, but then when they get slightly older they like the same things eg when you go to the park or on holidays ... not so many year's nursery/childminder.

We had a three and a quarter year gap ... which meant DD was potty trained and going to school the following year ... but just old enough that she wanted to do different things on outings and wotnot.

Day school is a real hard thing as a working parent with the bulk of child care as the days are short, though usually there are before and after school clubs or if you are at independent they will provide tea and homework club. The school holidays, in their younger years are difficult to manage and have family time, but you may find some very good activities run locally during the school holidays or you might be able to reorganise your work pattern?

Now both at uni, we have had one year where we are contributing to 2 of them for rent and living costs as the loan is insufficient which is a really tough financially, though I guess if you've gone to independent school all along, it's much less.

A gap of 5 years allows each to have their pre-school years and then when you get to uni, you will only have one in at a time or if you are in independent school, only one in the expensive Senior school. Also gives time to save for car and insurance and lessons and so on!

But whatever you chose a baby always comes at the exact right or wrong moment and we all just deal with it.

I have a 3yr gap but still on maternity leave with the youngest at the moment. I took a day off every week as holiday in the last few months at work to reduce childcare costs but carried on putting the money in the account so that we had enough money saved up for ds to continue nursery until the free hours kicked in so now only pay the top up fees. Ds will be at school soon after my return to work so will still only have one lot of childcare. Luckily I won't need any wrap around care and pil are always on hand to cover for the occasional afternoon meeting or training course and will have him for the few weeks pre school starting. Ive got quite a flexible employer so they will let me do whatever hours i need to during the first few settling in weeks and wont stop any pay as we have a good trust/respect/give and take policy where no one asks to be paid for a few hours overtime and no one gets stopped any pay for going to appointments ect

We had two within two years but we worked opposite shifts until we split and then childcare outpriced me working as a single parent but the opposite hours did work well

We had 2 under 2 and I ended up having to stay at home. Even as a full time teacher, nursery fees would have been £200 a month more than what I earned. DS is now at preschool, getting his free hours, and I’m still at home with DD who just turned 2. Hoping to get back into work once she starts school. The only way we’re able to live comfortably is because DH is a high earner.

I know people that went back full time and had a small age gap so that they got decent maternity pay the second time they were off, and only a few months with both in nursery before 30 hours kicked in for the first

Depends on lots of things such as where you live (obviously everything is more expensive down south), how high your rent/mortgage is, how much you both earn etc. Some people also choose to scale back on other things such as their car or holidays to afford another child. Others go back PT because it makes more financial sense with childcare and some leave a bigger gap so they only have one needing childcare at a time.

Very short maternity leave.

We're doing what @Offler did; probably could have started TTC when the 30 hours kicked in, but this way we'll have lower childcare costs.

Had 2 with a 16 month gap, but on full pay for the whole year of maternity for each (Crazy generous maternity policy) and only went back to work for 3 months (full time) in between each period of maternity leave. By the time I returned to work after number 2 (4 days a week), number 1 was only 9 months from 30 hours kicking in. To be fair myself and husband both also have fairly good salaries and we also have parental help. So mirroring what a lot of others say. you need a lot of things working in your favour, otherwise the only real way to do it without a struggle is to space them accordingly.

Well we didn’t have our first until we knew we could afford to live on one income but obviously that isn’t the solution for everyone! Most people I know have their second when the 30 free hours kick in.

When I returned to work nursery was £20 per day - £12 half days. That included meals when older and nappies.

The government then brought in free hours and working parents could claim up to 80% of fees as an incentive to work.

Guest what the nurseries and childminders did? Upped their pricing.

So now you all pay an arm and a leg for your ‘free’ places.

I gave up work for a few years (because I wanted to and because I could I suppose) now they are 4 and 6 and I’m back in work.

Most people I know with 2 or more close together, including myself, do not work and can afford everything on DH salary. Those who need to work do as suggested and have 4/5 or more year age gap. I have a 5 year gap between eldest and youngest and it's a nice dynamic.

6 year age gap because I would like both to go to private secondary school and can’t afford 2 at the same time or to help 2 kids through uni at the same time as we’re overpaying on our mortgage.

In addition, we like sunny foreign holidays and being able to eat out etc, so in order to maintain the lifestyle we want, 2 close in age wasn’t feasible.

Plus I found the early years hard enough with one and would have gone mad trying to do two at the same time!