This dress is fine for a wedding...

[TheWhiteOfIt]

My daughter will be 2, just.
It's my brother that's getting married.
I think this dress is absolutely gorgeous for my little girl to wear but DH thinks it's got too much white in it...
aibu?

And the idea that anyone would begrudge a 2 year old looking cute! I suppose a lot of people are really into themselves and don't want to be shown up by a child

I would think doesn't she look beautiful and not give it another thought..... Do people really get worked up about these things?

It's a beautiful dress, just don't think it's the right dress for a 2 year old, you'll be trying to manage the dress all day. It's so lovely to have an occasion to dress up for, hopefully you'll get some lovely photos, my poor teenage DC have never been to a wedding. How about one of these: -

www.next.ie/en/style/st545883#370798?i=1218months
www.next.ie/en/g59339s12#202513?i=1218months
<a class="break-all" href="https://www.next.ie/en/style/st567940#251128?i=1218monthswww.next.ie/en/g69200s7#355619?I=1218months" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.next.ie/en/style/st567940#251128?i=1218monthswww.next.ie/en/g69200s7#355619?I=1218months

The last one is my favourite!

Do people really get worked up about these things?

Welcome to MN.

The thing is, it’s the OP’s brother and his soon-to-be wife. They’ve made a decision that they don’t want bridesmaids or flower girls. Like it or not, in a lot of families toddler relatives are often seen as the go-to for cute flower girls and page boys, with assumptions made and resultant bad feeling following accordingly. You only have to look at the replies on here and the numerous wedding threads on MN in general and wider wedding forums to see that. It’s obviously a thorny area, whether or not some people on here are bothered about it themselves (good for them for not being).

Given all of that, and the fact that it’s your brother, I think what people are saying is why take the risk of causing a row by picking a dress that is overtly bridesmaid-y when there are loads of other options and it causes you no bother at all to pick something else?

Definitely check with the bride. There's no point in buying a dress that will piss off your SIL and have her seething the entire day. If they specifically don't want bridesmaids and their daughter isn't dressing as one this really could be taken as a passive aggressive move on your part.

That being said my eldest loves dresses like this...always has, so weddings have always been carefully shopped for so she doesn't end up looking like she's trying to be part of the bridal party. Even close to 13 her rampant love of all things twirly/flouncy/floaty hasn't abated!

Don’t check with the bride. She’ll feel obliged to say it’s fine.

Look, it’s not a big deal. It won’t be the end of the world if you put you child in that dress.

I just wouldn’t. Far classier to tone it down on someone else’s day.

What kind of bride would be ‘seething all day’ about a 2 year olds dress?

Mind boggles

I think people get worked up about these things because by the time they get married they are fed up with a lot of their family and guests. People will have: asked for an plus 1; said they are suddenly vegan (but not for the wine); demanded not to sit near drunk Uncle Bob; been in tears because they didn't get an invite; tried to persuade you to have the wedding near their house; thrown up at your hen do. I'm surprised more people don't elope.

I'm surprised more people don't elope

If I ever got the stage were I was worked up by a 2 year olds party dress, I’d elope for everyone’s sake.

Me too, because I love seeing little girls in part dresses.

It's lovely but it really does look like a bridesmaids dress.

I bet they will dress their daughter in a similar dress so it is her your daughter would 'clash' with.

I would try to find something less bridesmaidy.

Delia, it is more the case that people are so into themselves that they don't think about the impact of what they do on others. Is it so hard to think about what other people may want for one day?

It’s perfect if she is a flower girl

No, it’s lovely! She should definitely wear it. There’s no such thing as a ban on white for kids at weddings (except obviously they get food down their clothes!)

Movinghouseatlast

I suppose I think that children under 4 are basically ridiculous and get a free pass for a lot of things (including the parents' sartorial decisions). If I saw a little girl wearing a fluffy dress at a wedding I wouldn't think much of it. I certainly wouldn't assume she was part of the wedding party unless she was actually strewing flowers or something.

It's very pretty. I'd not have any problem with a 2 year old wearing that to a wedding. I don't tend to get too worked up about wedding outfits though, like some people do.

Oh that’s so pretty.

Wear it, I think people worry too much about the looking too bridesmaid-y, she's two. What do people want you to dress her in? A potato sack? Geez. I think it is a pretty dress and your dd will look lovely!

There really are so many easily offended and dramatic people about....

I don’t even see it as necessarily a bridesmaid dress.

It’s the style I associate with Monsoon, which I see as party dresses as much as bridesmaid/flower girl (though I know they’ve been used for these).

Personally I’m not mad about any of the alternatives posted.

If I ever got the stage were I was worked up by a 2 year olds party dress, I’d elope for everyone’s sake Quite.

It looks like a bridesmaid dress.

Colours are lovely though if you can find something a little less bridal party.

What do people want you to dress her in? A potato sack?

Well, there is a middle ground, isn't there, between a dress that is fancy enough for the wedding party and a potato sack? There's thousands of pretty party type dresses out there that would look just as nice (and probably be able to be used again for parties before the kid grew out of it), but wouldn't convey any inclination towards being more than an ordinary wedding guest.

And I think it does, sorry OP, but I'm autistic and even I thought "Lovely dress, but too dressy for non-wedding party". I don't always get nuances but this seems quite clear-cut to me.) I can't see the B&G being furious about it, but I'd still want to buy an outfit that was appropriate to the occasion - not a bridesmaid, not a flower girl, just a wedding guest.

I went from having no bridesmaids to three bridesmaids as a friend was supposed to be out of the country over the summer and I didn't think dress fitting etc would be practical.

Anyway, reasonably last minute she got a different job in the UK, so we went shopping in London and found her a dress. Then my aunt asked if my cousin first removed could be a bridesmaid as she'd not had the chance before and might not again (she was 9). I thought why not especially as my aunt said she'd pay for the dress. We chose an off the shelf one from BHS. And then I thought DH's niece who was 11 might as well be bridesmaid too if she wanted to and they found the same BHS dress and DH's parents paid for it. My only stipulation was that the two small bridesmaids had the same dress.

I just can't get over people who would be offended by a 2 year old wearing a lovely dress.