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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This dress is fine for a wedding...

379 replies

TheWhiteOfIt · 06/02/2020 07:13

My daughter will be 2, just.
It's my brother that's getting married.
I think this dress is absolutely gorgeous for my little girl to wear but DH thinks it's got too much white in it...
aibu?

This dress is fine for a wedding...
OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
MulticolourMophead · 06/02/2020 09:42

It looks like a typical little girl's party dress for my area. Lots of little girls wear dresses like this at weddings, and no one is stupid enough to mistake them for flower girls.

As this 2yr old isn't walking down the aisle, it'll be clear she's not a flower girl.

ChicCroissant · 06/02/2020 09:43

The 'co-ordinate' comments makes me think the OP is either being goady or definitely trying to make her DD look like a bridesmaid Hmm

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 06/02/2020 09:45

The point it not that she will upstage anyone but that it will look like her mother is annoyed at her not being asked to be flower girl

Really? Maybe it's me but I would just look at her and think aaaw what a lovely dress, that little girl looks really cute.

TypingoftheDead · 06/02/2020 09:47

I think it's lovely, agree maybe a bit too much like a bridesmaid/flower girl, but would double check with the bride before making a final decision.

Nanny0gg · 06/02/2020 09:51

The fact that you want the cousins to match makes it look like you're trying to make them bridesmaids

1forsorrow · 06/02/2020 09:53

I love it on here where everyone suggests all clothing choices should be checked with the bride and groom before the wedding. Just what you need when busy with all the arrangements, imagine if you're having 200 at the wedding!

SoupDragon · 06/02/2020 09:54

Where has anyone suggested that all clothing choices should be checked by the bride?

Igotthemheavyboobs · 06/02/2020 09:57

Your dh surely doesn't think a 2 yo will upstage the bride

Lol, I assume he just knows the no white at a wedding rule and not the reason behind it. I thought it was about luck until I joined mn to be fair Grin

LaurieMarlow · 06/02/2020 09:57

Maybe it's me but I would just look at her and think aaaw what a lovely dress, that little girl looks really cute.

Exactly.

But apparently lots of people have waaay too little to be thinking about that they’re second guessing the mother’s motives.

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/02/2020 09:59

It is lovely but I think at just turned 2, you may regret the choice. Try something, which sits on or around the knee to avoid tripping incidents. Almost 3, fine.

As for the design, I would check with the b&g tbh. We went to a wedding when dd was almost 3. 18 months or so earlier I’d bought a flower girl dress from John Lewis, which had been priced at £2.50 instead of £25 and I thought it could be a lovely party dress. It was age 5 so I didn’t expect it to fit but it did. Dh checked with the B&G - they’re really chilled and they were fine. We went to the front of the cathedral and waited while the pics were taken, no going anywhere near the b&g etc. They also had no bms. It washed up just fine btw. I wasn’t going to dry clean a £2.50 dress and dd wore it to lots of parties including her 3rd birthday!

I would absolutely check especially as you are part of the family, you will be in the photos. I would therefore want to ensure the bride didn’t feel this looks like a stealth bm. And as others have said, please do not dress your dds in identical bm dresses.

AndwhenyougetthereFoffsomemore · 06/02/2020 10:05

I think it's a cute dress - which is very obviously designed with bridesmaids roles in mind. If the B&G have explicitly avoided having their cute little relations as bridesmaids, personally I'd avoid it. People are sooooo easily offended at wedding clothing, and there are so many gorgeous dresses that don't have such a bridesmaid-y look: why risk it? Just steer a bit more towards colour and you should be fine.And absolutely do NOT co-ordinate with other nieces!

(My brother got married when dd was 'peak bridesmaid' age, and didn't;t have any bridesmaids. Dd was slightly put out, but easily distracted: my mum and sister were perhaps more annoyed! I very consciously bought a bright coloured dress for her, to make it clear that I wasn't annoyed as there was a danger of it becoming 'a thing' in the family)

Midnight0 · 06/02/2020 10:11

Well, people will find anything to offended about, it's a beautiful frilly dress for a little girl, I'm pretty sure your DD is not planning to arrive and claim her right to be a bridesmaid.

If you really are not sure, I would just confirm with the couple getting married, but really... people who say it looks too bridesmaid-y...IT'S JUST A DRESS.

Jellybeansincognito · 06/02/2020 10:17

I wouldn’t, personally unless she’s a flower girl.

Its too ‘much’ for a guest.

Rainallnight · 06/02/2020 10:20

It’s too flower girl.

Jellybeansincognito · 06/02/2020 10:22

Of course it’s just a dress- you’d not wear a ball gown to a wedding though would you? For example... you’d look like a bridesmaid.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 06/02/2020 10:23

It's gorgeous: she'll look grand Smile

EverythingChanges321 · 06/02/2020 10:24

Lovely dress. She’ll look adorable.

If the people getting married have a 13yr old daughter, they obviously aren’t that hung up on traditional nonsense. I think that anyone who judges you negatively clearly has their own issues!

dellacucina · 06/02/2020 10:27

I think it's a bit Hmm that people are suggesting that a 2 year old could even be a bridesmaid. Perhaps I'm missing something?

I have no doubt that many 2 year olds would insist on wearing a princess dress to a wedding. I don't see a material difference and I see no reason your little girl shouldn't wear a pretty dress.

ANuggetOfTheFinestGreen · 06/02/2020 10:33

It's fine, my SIL had not long had her kids as bridesmaids and page boys when I got married so to save a bit of cash she just put them back in the same outfits again, they looked adorable, no one assumed they were part of the bridal party (not that it would have mattered if anyone did think that) and they had a great time.

Just send the bride/groom a picture and ask if they think it's appropriate then accept their answer :)

Fantababy · 06/02/2020 10:39

To be honest I think most little girls dresses that are fancy enough to be worn to a wedding look like flower girl outfits - hard to avoid

This. I've been looking for a dress for my 1yo for a wedding and it's hard to avoid something that could maybe, possibly, be perceived as being bridesmaid - y. I tend to shrug my shoulders and think 'there's a baby in a cute dress' and that's it. Mumsnet has taught me, however,, that it is VERY easy to offend brides. Dress your 2 year old wrong, talk about anything other than the b&g, suggest taking your OH to the wedding with you... Confused

HairyToity · 06/02/2020 10:41

Beautiful dress. I would have been delighted to see a 2 year old guest wearing this dress.

HairyToity · 06/02/2020 10:42

2 year old guest at my wedding I should add. Smile

Dozer · 06/02/2020 10:42

No need to check with the bride/groom: OP’s DH has made the right call!

Mol5 · 06/02/2020 10:47

I actually have this dress for my flower girls. So maybe check there aren't flower girls as it is quite flower-girl-y. Otherwise it is a beautiful dress and she will look lovely.

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