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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This dress is fine for a wedding...

379 replies

TheWhiteOfIt · 06/02/2020 07:13

My daughter will be 2, just.
It's my brother that's getting married.
I think this dress is absolutely gorgeous for my little girl to wear but DH thinks it's got too much white in it...
aibu?

This dress is fine for a wedding...
OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Notonthestairs · 06/02/2020 08:33

It's a flower girl dress. You know that really.

Ask your brother if he's ok with a stealth flower girl? They may not care.

Yabadee · 06/02/2020 08:35

I think that’s a gorgeous dress for a 2 year old to wear to a wedding!

I’m getting married next year and wouldn’t bat an eyelid if my niece wore a dress like that, even if she wasn’t already a flower girl.

Double check with the bride and groom, u know them better than any of us do.

But yes take a change of clothes for night! When my DD was 2 I took pyjamas for her for the reception so she could just run wild and not wreck the dress. She ended up wearing it again at Halloween last year as a zombie bride so it didn’t really matter in the end!

TeaAndCake321 · 06/02/2020 08:35

If you do go for such a nice dress I’d pack a second just in case at that age, we always took 2 outfits to weddings up to about age 3/4 and have needed them (spillages etc). Maybe a more lightweight dress in case she gets fed up in such a big dress too.

ittakes2 · 06/02/2020 08:36

I think you look like you think she should have been asked to be a flower girl and you are now trying to slide her into a non-existant flower girl role.

dognamedspot · 06/02/2020 08:37

This is what the relatives do when they wanted their daughter to be a bridesmaid. I think your comment about maybe coordinating with the daughter gave you away Op. It's a very pretty dress but I think it is over the top for a toddler going to a wedding.

bbyj2019 · 06/02/2020 08:38

Personally I feel like if you feel the need to ask it isn’t suitable

ALHanes2 · 06/02/2020 08:39

Seeing if their daughter wants to coordinate in wearing that dress (along with your own daughter wearing it), when they have specifically chosen not to have bridesmaids is pretty strange. Definitely run this past the bride and groom before wading in with that suggestion. Your husband was right to flag it. I wouldn’t make my 2 year old wear such a formal uncomfortable looking dress unless they were a flower girl.

LaurieMarlow · 06/02/2020 08:40

I never understand the MN angst about this. It will be obvious she’s not a flower girl because she isn’t walking down the aisle.

Who could get worked up about what a two year old is wearing to a wedding?

It’s a lovely dress. Crack on. Maybe invest in those overall bib things for the meal.

Reginabambina · 06/02/2020 08:40

It seems fine to me.

Pukkatea · 06/02/2020 08:40

People would actually be that put out by a 2 year old child arriving at their wedding looking a bit like a flower girl, which is basically 'child in a pretty dress'?

Wow. People take their weddings far too seriously.

I suppose no guests should ever wear a hat lest they be mistaken for the mother of the bride Grin

SoupDragon · 06/02/2020 08:41

I have no idea why people think it's bridesmaidy

Because it's a confection of chiffon, lace and satin. Just like a child"s bridesmaid dress.

Pilot12 · 06/02/2020 08:42

It looks like a bridesmaid dress so you need to make sure you don't upstage the bride's daughter, if she's not being a bridesmaid and your daughter looks like one she might be upset.

MadMadMad · 06/02/2020 08:42

To me that is a Bridesmaid/Flower Girl dress and despite her age it looks like you are trying to make a point about her not being one.
I don't think many brides (or their close family) would be impressed if she turned up wearing that - I wouldn't.

Dillydallyalltheway · 06/02/2020 08:42

I think it’s gorgeous and would be fine to wear but maybe ask the bride her honest opinion

MaryShelley1818 · 06/02/2020 08:44

It's not my style (I love the dress @SoupDragon posted though!)
BUT she's a 2-yr old toddler, let her wear the fancy dress for a day. Anyone who would be offended by a 2yr old looking too much like a bridesmaid is odd. Lots of little girls love dressing up and probably won't get another chance.

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/02/2020 08:45

I think it’s lovely

I’m getting married in few months and if one of the 2yr children wore this dress it wouldn’t bother me

SoupDragon · 06/02/2020 08:45

@sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea it's from Monsoon. It was one of the top hits when I googled "butterfly chiffon flower girl dress" 😂

BrightonBB · 06/02/2020 08:45

NO - it would look like your DD was the bridesmaid which might make the older DD of the actual bride feel put out.

Also if the colour doesn’t fit in with the bride’s dress it will make the bride look bad in a ‘gosh the bridesmaid dress makes the bridal gown look dirty as they don’t match’.

Remind yourself that it is the bride’s day and not yours.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 06/02/2020 08:45

I think it's a really pretty dress, but reckon a toddler will ruin it rapidly! I'd do what others have suggested above, and WhatsApp a photo of it to your brother and his fiancée to see what they think.

AriadnesFilament · 06/02/2020 08:46

Too bridesmaidy

tabulahrasa · 06/02/2020 08:47

Most toddler party dresses look like flower girl dresses though...

crispysausagerolls · 06/02/2020 08:49

Most toddler party dresses look like flower girl dresses though

This is very true. Another colour might be better though

Spied · 06/02/2020 08:51

My worry would be that she upstages the bride and groom's own DD.
The dress is very bridesmaid style and I think if ask what the bride's daughter would be wearing before making a decision.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 06/02/2020 08:52

@SoupDragon Thank you!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 06/02/2020 08:56

I didn't have bridesmaids but my 2 small nieces arrived in matching satin dresses.I didn't mind though it wasnt me that paid for them Wink

It's a lovely dress but I'd check with the bride just to be safe

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