This dress is fine for a wedding...

[TheWhiteOfIt]

My daughter will be 2, just.
It's my brother that's getting married.
I think this dress is absolutely gorgeous for my little girl to wear but DH thinks it's got too much white in it...
aibu?

The bride will feel obliged to say yes.

Don’t be That Person!

Just get another, non-bridesmaid dress.

Conclusion is that I will ask the bride.
so she will have to be polite and say yes, regardless of what she thinks.

Why can't you just be pleasant to your SIL? Are you that annoyed your little darling is not in the wedding party?

Meh, I don't see the problem. A lot of little girl party dresses look potentially "flower girly" and ott compared with what a teen or adult would wear, but people will just think she's cute.

OP, having had my head wrecked by this entire conversation, I think you should ask the bride.

And if she has a problem with it and doesn’t say, then that really is her problem.

It’s the second guessing, speculating on motives, assumption of passive aggression, lack of directness, endless ‘she’ll think and they’ll think’ crap that is unbelievably tedious.

Thankfully my friends and family don’t read endlessly into 2 year old outfit choices and are capable of giving honest answers to simple questions.

I didn’t realise how lucky I am.

Conclusion is that I will ask the bride

Then she has to say she doesn't mind regardless of whether she does or not.
If the decision isn't unanimous, change the dress.

She'll say it's fine because she has to. I wouldn't be happy in her shoes & lots of people have told you the same thing.

Thanks to those who gave constructive advice.
find a non-bridesmaid dress is a constructive advice....

Why not ask? Looks alright to me and I wound the care - but I’m not the bride.

If you are going to ask the bride AND groom send them pictures of 3 dresses and make sure the other 2 are different enough for no discussion about if they are suitable or not.

Interesting that people think it’s not appropriate. I would have thought you’d get everyone piling in and saying it’s lovely! What sort of bride wouldn’t mind letting a little light shine on a tiny little girl in a pretty dress?

Why will the future SIL feel obliged to say yes, if the OP hasn't already bought the dress for her daughter? She can say no if she feels like it, or ask if she'd change it for something else if she's already bought it. Or she can say of course she doesn't mind, it's a really pretty dress (which, personally, I think any normal bride outside of the Mumsnet Marriage Etiquettezillas would say) and leave it at that!

God no, asking the bride! Waste of her time and v hard for her to confirm that it’s faux flowergirly.

Just listen to your H and pick a more appropriate dress!

For the love of God, she’s 2. He’s being a melt

Why will the future SIL feel obliged to say yes, if the OP hasn't already bought the dress

Fuck knows why SIL is incapable of giving a simple answer to a simple question.

SIL shouldn’t have to be bothered with it. OP’s H is right: OP just doesn’t want to choose another dress.

Fuck knows why SIL is incapable of giving a simple answer to a simple question.

maybe because of the way the OP tend to react when something doesn't go her way, just read her very last post....

I wouldn’t like to be asked that if I were her. I would feel like if I said ‘no, it’s too bridesmaidy’ I would come across as a bridezilla.

just read her very last post

Let’s just say I understand her frustration.

I agree with showing the bride a few dresses and asking which she'd prefer. Just showing her that one makes it awkward.

Frustration is fine. Using sexist terms to attack posters who disagree with her, breaching MN guidelines, is not.

Using sexist terms to attack posters who disagree with her, breaching MN guidelines, is not

I didn’t say it was.

What sort of bride wouldn’t mind letting a little light shine on a tiny little girl in a pretty dress?

None of this is about a little girl. It's about trying to stop OP looking passive aggressive and bitter (maybe not to everyone, but that is how some people will interpret it). And if I were the bride, I wouldn't want people thinking I'd annoyed my SIL by not asking either.

Don't wear a wedding dress if you're not the bride.
Don't wear a typical bridesmaid dress if you're not a bridesmaid.
Don't put a child in a flowergirl dress if she's not a flowergirl.

I wouldn’t like to be asked that if I were her. I would feel like if I said ‘no, it’s too bridesmaidy’ I would come across as a bridezilla.
Exactly!
Amusing how the OP’s chill “- it’s just a pretty dress for a 2 year old isn’t it ladies?” mask has slipped and she’s now gripping on to the dress to grim death.
No mention of it being a flower girl dress in the OP either; the only concern mentioned that there was too much white. A more obvious question would have been “Is this flower girl dress okay for a 2 year old to wear to a wedding where she isn’t flower girl or bridesmaid?”
Husband thinks not, lots of posters on the forum she posted anonymously think best not, so ......... she’s taking it to the bride. Who will probably say it’s fine. So there.