To think who eats a family meal to themselves?!

[GimmeTheSnacks]

I made a meal this evening ready for tomorrow as the chicken needed cooking. It was cooling down on the side before putting it in the fridge. The next thing I know dp is home from work then walks in with a huge plate of it. It looked like a lot so I asked if he'd reheated the whole thing to which he replied "no I've saved ds (5) some as I know how much he likes it". I explained it was for tea tomorrow and he said I should have told him when he got home.

He has enough common sense to know I will have cooked it for another days meal so this was just so selfish. He can be selfish with food in terms of snacks but he's never done it with a meal before. There were 4 chicken breasts in it ffs!

Aibu to think this was out of order and selfish?

It also bothers me that he paused to consider one of his children while dishing up, but not the other child and his wife. Why?

I found that strange too- if he didnt know it was for later, then why did he save some for one child? he must have known it was for everyone in that case!

@GimmeTheSnacks How is he generally around the house? Does he do his fair share albeit not cooking because people here have him made out to be a selfish, lazy, greedy, good for nothing arsehole?

Yes he was thoughtless but it's not really the end of the world. It shocks me how controlling some people are over food! No one gets to judge how hungry someone else can be. I'd just tell him as he ate tomorrow night's dinner it's his problem to sort something else out!

He had his tea at work. Not dinner. Tea. Did you ask him what he had for his tea at work ? It might not have been that substantial

I'm not sure if you're being facetious, but surely you must be aware that half the country call the evening meal/main meal of the day 'tea' and in any case what the meal is called does not dictate the size of it or excuse what the DH did.

As usual some people will excuse a man for thoughtless greed.

There is absolutely no excuse for arriving home and eating a curry or casserole made for four as a "late night snack". I've no idea how big microwave packs of rice are but for adults I estimate on about 100g cooked weight. So yes he is greedy and selfish.

So now someone has to buy and cook another meal, that should be the DH. I wonder if he will?

Was this a one-off? Or does he have a form for hoovering up food? Can it be written off as a misunderstanding? How big of a deal is it really on the larger scale of things? I can see why you're annoyed but it can't be undone now. Have words maybe?

Op you clearly need to ltb. Apparently what he has done is horrifying, he's a selfish pig of a man , no way can you bring kids up with someone like this, and he's obviously at the forefront of the obesity epidemic as well. 🤣🤣🤣

I think what he did was selfish and thoughtless, but I think the people on here responding to OP telling her she doesn't have a right to be upset gross me out more and reading these absurd replies is what's making people trash her DH more

Keep your privilege at home please, some of us have to budget, both time and money wise. And please see my previous comment, I really do think you should all set up a meals on wheels service for OP's husband to ensure his happiness

Hubby is obviously a silly sausage! OP you should give him a nice blowy and treat yourself to a label maker!

@PlanDeRaccordement Why would the OP need to leave a note? The DH lives in that house and knows how the household works. There's no way he didn't realise the full pot of curry was an actual meal not leftovers. The difference would he obvious to anyone with eyes. And he knows his wife will prepare food in advance, so it wouldn't be unexpected.

Not every house has a free for all on food left cooling. At the very least, most people would ask before eating pretty much the lot.

I usually keep a couple of packs of microwave rice in for emergencies including days when, thanks to one or other of our autistic teens, everything has gone to shit and cooking from scratch just isn't going to happen.

Is he a normal weight?

A microwave pack of rice is 250g cooked weight

Apparently what he has done is horrifying, he's a selfish pig of a man , no way can you bring kids up with someone like this, and he's obviously at the forefront of the obesity epidemic as well

Yes OP- you should be ashamed of yourself! When he comes in from work, make sure you look nice, wear high heels and feed him peeled grapes whilst he relaxes on a chaise longue. He is the man of the house after all and its women's work to prepare the food- make sure he has the pick of the best meat next time and you and the dog can fight over the last chicken leg. Tsk Tsk for even considering your own feminine feelings over that of a man's - we all know men should be treated like kings in their own homes! otherwise they'll leave you for a younger, prettier model with superior housekeeping skills!

Re the microwave rice thing. I buy them mostly for the kids to chop up a bit of veg, crack an egg and make a quick stir fry. Rice for a family meal I cook myself.

And reheating a curry or soup more than once happens in our family fairly frequently with no ill effects. Surely historically, pre refrigeration, reheating a stew thoroughly as required was one way to kill off any nasties and carry a meal over a couple of days.

I wouldn't say hes greedy but I have a good appetite and most days could probably manage a curry at 10pm.
But taking another meal is not on.
OP if I would you I would tell him hes cooking tonight.

I have some microwave rice for the kids. If DS1 making his own lunch on the weekend it makes things easier.

I am, as ever, gobsmacked by the mn attitude to food. Particularly when it comes to men.

I’m tempted to start a thread saying I’d cooked a boeuf bourguignon that I was going to serve when my in-laws came to dinner the next evening, only to find my 15 year old daughter had come back from a friends and eaten the lot. I bet there’s be a lot less “Oh, the poor love must have been peckish.”

And while I’m at it, when I’ve cooked microwave rice, two packs have been plenty for this household of 2 adults and two teens. We don’t do manual labour but husband and myself both cycle 15 miles a day and both daughters do several sessions of extra curricular sport a week.

We have an obesity epidemic and it’s no coincidence that what people think are sensible portion sizes are a lot larger than they used to be. Three chicken breasts is obscene as a meal, let alone as a ‘snack’.

It's very disrespectful to eat it without checking he can.
You spent a long time cooking that, as well as the budget implications.

I suspect this is the tip of the iceberg. No considerate person would do that. How is the rest of your relationship op? Does he consider your feelings and opinions normally or do you always fit in with him and his decisions?

This is such a depressing thread, feminism has a really long way to go

Nobody is suggesting not to eat if you feel hungry, but eat beans on toast, cereal, freezer food - don't eat the home-cooked meal that's meant for your family's dinner the next day! DH and I are well-off and can afford whatever we want to eat. I'd still be angry if he ate the family's dinner that I'd spent my evening preparing around work and childcare. It's not just greedy, it's selfish and thoughtless. Yes, they can eat beans on toast the next day, but why should they? Surely anyone can see that a home-made curry is much nicer, and now OP doesn't even get to eat any of it herself!

We just eat what we want when we want in this house there is no way I would police my husband having chicken I'm not his mum
Just make something else or ask him to do dinner

For me, it depends whether it's a one off, or at least very rare, or a common occurrence.
One off = mistake, can be forgiven.
Common = selfish, entitled.
That said, no one on our household would just eat something like a fully made meal, or obvious ingredients for a meal, without checking.
Unlike some others, much of the food in our kitchen isn't a free for all, it's planned for meals, but it depends what it is of course.

We just eat what we want when we want in this house there is no way I would police my husband having chicken I'm not his mum
Just make something else or ask him to do dinner

That's not much of a MN thread is it ? Not much man bashing there.

So, you smell a nice curry when you come home hungry, assume it's leftovers. Then make beans on toast. Yeah, right.....

cultkid
Do you have a good budget for food? The OP is on a budget.
Why should the OP miss out on the meal she cooked because her DH ate so much of it?
He can’t cook so why does the OP have to do more work to counteract his greed when she is a working parent of young children?

If there was 4 chicken breasts and vegetables in the curry, it would quite reasonably feed them for dinner with leftovers for the freezer.