To ask for cf pregnancy comments

[3teens]

Out for lunch with my 30w pregnant niece (20) Random woman comes up to commiserate me on my teenage sister being 'in trouble' and asking how my parents feel.
I was livid. Told her I was actually her aunt, have 5dc myself and my neice is married, has her own home and chose to be pregnant.
Reminded me of being in SCBU with my twins 14 years ago and a HCA asking me what she should buy her DD for her 18th bday.
I replied, 'when I turned 18 my parents bought me xyz but that was 5 years back'
HCA was stunned. Thought I was 16.

When I got pg with ds1 I was 26, and 'just living with' my dp, I got lots and lots of people asking if we planned the pregnancy, which we had! Ds2 we were 32, married, owned our own home and had been parents for a while and no one asked. He wasn't planned in the slightest! 😂

“Your Arse is really Fat so your having a it’s girl” from a complete stranger heavily pregnant on a hot summers day in Bunnings

My arse was fat before I was pregnant (I had lost almost 15kg while pregnant) so I wasn’t so impressed.

A neighbour, who had heard that I miscarried my previous pregnancy, said "Don't lose it this time!"

Appalling though that sounds, I think his heart was in the right place... he didn't say it with malice.

The “must be twins” and “you’re huge” comments are extremely unhelpful towards the end when you are enormous and very uncomfortable

Just the usual "was it planned" really. One woman at work that I don't know well at all was obsessed with how big the baby was and how he would be delivered. She heard me showing a friend a scan picture because we were having growth scans and that was that. "Will they induce you early?" "You should have a section if they think the baby's big".
Now that he's here (and only 10 weeks old) in laws are trying to guilt me into having another, I have absolutely no intention of having another.

I didn't have any rude comments whilst pregnant. With my first my bump was very small and one of my colleagues was surprised I was going on mat leave "so early" and was taken aback that I was as far along as I was!
I just had a neighbor who came out to coo at ds2 when we'd got back from hospital. Almost the first thing she asked was if we were having any more!
I just said a flat no. She looked shocked and said "Aren't you going to try for a girl?"
No. We wanted two children, we're lucky to have two healthy children and I don't want any more.
DH just mumbled "We'd probably just have another boy." in a bemused fashion and we went indoors. Dh's family don't seem to do girls.

DF, when told I was expecting DC one, married for 2 years, 'how did that happen?' He was not amused when I mentioned the birds and the bees. When expecting DC2, he asked why I wasn't satisfied with only one, as he had been! MIL told me that I would be having a third baby 'to give DH a son'. As he already had a son from his first marriage, that was a really stupid thing to say (MIL was not bright). My short reply was just that!

Reactions to our planned baby in the late1980’s when I was 25:
My Mum: ‘What will the neighbours say?!!’ - we weren’t married but happily living together in a house I’d bought myself the year before.
Colleague 1: ‘I’ve heard about your predicament’
Colleague 2: ‘When are you going to give all this up, settle down and get married?’
Colleague 3: ‘So you’ll be living on benefits then as a single mother - using my taxes!’
I reckon there’s more acceptance of children being born outside marriage and less expectation that a woman will leave work; there are many more decent nurseries and better regulation.
Everyday sexism continues and women are particularly vulnerable when they’re pregnant.

Not really cheeky but yesterday had to take my daughter to hospital where she needed an xray. I obviously said I'd wait outside and got asked why. So I said I was pregnant. Doctor looked suspicious and sad are you sure?
Felt like telling her to do an ultrasound on me afterwards if she wanted.

You people all know some really rude people who have no manners. Don't think anyone I know would say anything that's been said on here. Most you'd get is 'congratulations, when is it due, do you know what it is for yet?' and then no doubt offers to buy stuff.

When we told extended family we were expecting dc1, my DH's uncle asked how would we cope on one wage? This is 21st century FFS, not 1960s - women are allowed to have children and work!

The usual “was it planned”
“You sure there’s only one”.. well I tried to have a look but I can’t really see up there.. 36wks so i was a tad round.
“You need to have another one he can’t be lonely” (I’m an only child can’t recall grave periods of loneliness) followed by “geez that was quick, shouldnt you’ve waited a bit” “did you want twins” when I did fall pregnant again quickly.

Best one was being given a wedding ring set to wear to a function... couldn’t have me looking all round n unmarried, even though I’m not married and I don’t intend on getting hitched either, could think of a lot of things I’d rather spend money on.

I am not pregnant but I wear a "Please Offer Me A Seat" badge due to problems with my legs & leg joints- I don't do well stood up on public transport. Understandably people confuse it with a "Baby on Board" badge and some of the interactions I've had which have obviously been made by people who think I'm pregnant have been a bit . A few pointed looks at my ringless hand and someone asking if I "should really be out tonight" at a dance class (I go regularly) followed by the pub we all frequent afterwards- where I was having a virgin orange juice anyway. You all deserve medals for not killing these fools. I've also had a couple of pervy cleavage comments- 34FF without pregnancy. God knows what they'd say/do if I actually was pregnant. People are horrific.

when i was pregnant there was something on the news about diet at the time of conception affecting the sex of the baby. Someone asked me what i was eating at the time the baby was conceived. I told them 'nothing my husband made me put my chips down before we started!'

‘OMG your boobs are sooo huge!’ Said by not one, but two female coworkers. Yes, thank you, and if you don’t bugger off I’ll squirt milk at you.

One of my pupils (lower primary age): ‘But you can’t be pregnant - you’re a Miss not a Mrs!’ That one made me laugh.

In my local card shop, "wow you are soooo huge! And so short. When are you due? I bet you can't wait to slim back down!"

I truthfully told her that I was due about 3 days ago. She looked at me in pure horror as if the baby could slip out at any moment!

(I had a very healthy pregnancy and had my DM with me. I was not at all worried about popping into Clintons to buy a card!)

Lots of was it planned but also comments about being fat that were meant to be funny ie stood in a chip shop after a long and fraught day at hospital (couldn’t feel baby moving) server shouted across shop you shouldn’t be eating chips your fat enough already (8 months pregnant and 10 stone), waiting outside a bakers for my mum and was told by someone coming out “best you lay off the cakes” and worst one of all stood in a supermarket que, fed up as overdue by a week and an old woman taps my mum on shoulder whilst looking at me and asks very loudly when I’m due! Like I’m some deaf dumb animal who can’t speak for myself. Other people made being pregnant a shitty experience

Oh and on day DD was born, probably less than 5 hours old .... “I suppose you will try for a boy now”...

And lots of men questioning me about breastfeeding... fucking weirdos

A few "was it planned" comments, but I do look quite young. Usually once they realise over getting to know me that I'm in my mid twenties, have a good degree, own a home, etc, they stop judging.

My Sil during my first pregnancy commented on how funny it was that I was gaining weight whilst she was losing weight. She also asked if I would stay fat after the baby! 10 years on I’m still not entirely sure why I didn’t just walk away!

Slightly different but still very much upset me. I am 24 years old who's suffered 5MC's in the past 3 years the last being October just gone, no period come late Nov and just thought it was body fighting to get back to normal until we found out we were in fact pregnant again.

We told mine and partners parents as were frightened it would happen again and felt we wanted the family support but specifically told them all not to tell anyone as we found out so early.
By the next day my whole family knew and about 7 of my mothers friends had been "sworn to secrecy" I was fuming that I would be unable to share the news myself and thought she'd have more respect after all I'd been through.

Worst for me after all the miscarriages were the amounts of people (inc doctors) who told me it was fine as I was only young and had plenty of time before I should have a baby.

@Baluga I'm pregnant with our third DD and have been so taken aback by the negative comments "oh no! ANOTHER girl?!" "Your poor husband." "Never mind" same as you "You'll just have to keep trying." 😕 people are so rude and insensitive. (Also it was a slightly complicated situation which made it worse- people just don't know what people are going through.)

Sorry to hear you've had this experience, and that it continues ☹️

Boob comments reminded me of 3 days post partum, DH’s father’s gf looking at my engorged breasts and saying “I hope you’re making the most of those” to DH 😱