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Original poster

To ask for cf pregnancy comments

149 replies

3teens · 05/02/2020 23:10

Out for lunch with my 30w pregnant niece (20) Random woman comes up to commiserate me on my teenage sister being 'in trouble' and asking how my parents feel.
I was livid. Told her I was actually her aunt, have 5dc myself and my neice is married, has her own home and chose to be pregnant.
Reminded me of being in SCBU with my twins 14 years ago and a HCA asking me what she should buy her DD for her 18th bday.
I replied, 'when I turned 18 my parents bought me xyz but that was 5 years back'
HCA was stunned. Thought I was 16.

OP posts:
Whitelighttrainwreck · 06/02/2020 12:14

I can't imagine shaming another mum for going to the gym while pregnant, I stopped but only because I had two miscarriages and wanted to eliminate risks (I know exercise isn't a risk, but at that point in my head I wanted to make sure I was in a bubble of 'safety')

I kept getting all the "oh you'll never get to do xyz alone ever again" from my friends of all people... My children seem perfectly capable of leaving me alone when I go to the toilet or have a shower 🤔

StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff · 06/02/2020 12:26

People are twats!

I got a lot of 'was it planned' which considering I'd been married years by then and was 30 was hilarious.

I got 'oh you've managed to lose all your baby weight then' afterwards too, yep, great, thanks for that.

You're massive.

Is it twins?

Etc etc

N0ManJan · 06/02/2020 12:29

I enquired about having my baby shower at a popular place that does afternoon tea. When they asked who the shower was for and I said me (It was a few weeks ago and my bump didn’t really “pop out” until recently) they took one look at me and were dismayed demanding to know how old I was and if it was planned. I’m 24 but I do get this a lot because I have adult braces but needless to say I won’t be having my shower there!!

newlifenewme2020 · 06/02/2020 12:36

I got a cup of coffee snatched off me by a women in a cafe saying I couldn’t have it. I told her to give it me back now or she would be wearing it. (Not my finest moment but I was 35 weeks pregnant and had been on my feet all day and I really wanted that coffee)

Another 2 women tutted about teenaged mothers on the bus (I was 30)

The most weird one was in a pub in the Lake District. I was ordering food for me, DH, my dad and 2 brothers and he was behind me. He put his arm round my waist right under my boob. Said he had been watching me with DH and I could do so much better and he was ready to be a father to my unborn child.
He practically ran out the door when my DH, dad and brothers saw what was going on and all started walking over.

I felt dirty for weeks after that.

Bluebutterfly90 · 06/02/2020 12:59

Also agree with the "Was it planned" comments. What a thing to ask!

One of my coworkers seemed to want me to have a girl so when I told her that I was having a boy she pulled a sad face and said "Oh, are you disappointed?" - I wasn't, but she clearly was! Very weird.

Zebramumma · 06/02/2020 13:09

I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks after getting married & DC was born exactly 9 months after the wedding.

Cue lots of “well I guess we know what happened on your wedding night...?!” As if I’m going to give them all the gory details! But yes, my husband & I did have sex on our wedding night shock horror

Never mind that we’d been trying for a while, just so happened I fell pregnant then

Whynosnowyet · 06/02/2020 13:14

Mil 'consoled' me on announcing I was pregnant with' accidents happen'-I was 42!!.. Then proceeded to whisper out of dh's earshot that his ex had wanted his babies!!. Years ago on the bus with my dc +newborn a woman told me I should have kept my legs shut!!
*^known awful woman who had an ASBO for attacking a pensioner in the PO queue!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 06/02/2020 13:28

Friend of dps that I hadn't seen for a while "Holy fuck your huge" slight over reaction I thought, but yeah when you are a week overdue with a 10 pound baby inside you, your not likely to look small. His dad was there too and he said to him "eh? she doesn't look any taller than the last time I saw her" 😂

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 06/02/2020 13:30

I don't know why people take offence to the "was it planned?" question. I think people are just trying to guage the appropriate amount of enthusiasm to show.

NaviSprite · 06/02/2020 13:35

Twin pregnancy I got asked whether they were conceived the ahem ‘traditional’ way or by IVF by complete strangers, then some would ask if it was the same dad for each twin Confused as of the second trimester I was told by many well-meaning older women I would drop ‘any day now’ - that’s not one I class as cheeky of course but I got fed up of hearing it Grin

User12879923378 · 06/02/2020 13:36

"Was it IVF?" It wasn't. I don't have any beef with IVF pregnancy but it just really annoyed me to be asked such a personal question.

Bluebutterfly90 · 06/02/2020 13:36

Seems like a lot of posters got told they were huge, which obviously isn't great- but it reminds me that I kept getting told the opposite!
People kept telling me I was really small and couldn't possibly be as far along as I actually was. As a first time mum it really freaked me out because I was worried he was too small or that something was wrong!

He came out at a perfectly healthy 8 pound 6 though, so I worried for nothing.

DerbyshireGirly · 06/02/2020 13:41

I work in quite a male-dominated environment and some of the questions I've had have been a bit iffy. Some of them are just down to cluelessness but others are decidedly misogynist.

The worst is my colleague who has repeatedly asked what my plans are for afterwards and very firmly told me that I shouldn't come back after, mothers shouldn't work, it's not fair on the child, if I do work I should do a bit of cleaning or maybe work in a tea room, I won't be able to cope full time yadda yadda.

Makes all the other questions about whether it was planned, how long it took to conceive (!), whether we can afford it, will we need to claim benefits etc seem lighthearted in comparison.

MayDayHelp · 06/02/2020 13:43

I got asked by the midwife whilst bathing dd1 in hospital if I was going to go back to school to take my GCSEs.

I was 23 Confused

Jemma2907 · 06/02/2020 13:44

After losing a baby at 21 weeks, I fell pregnant again a few months later. When announcing to family at 16w my Husbands Aunt made the cheery comment "well fingers crossed this ones healthy!" I still cant work out what goes through someones mind that they think this would be an acceptable thing to say in that situation!

puds11 · 06/02/2020 13:44

I had a cashier at Tesco tell me I was too young to have a child the age my daughter was Shock She was 5, I was 25.

debbs77 · 06/02/2020 13:44

Recently told my MIL our baby news. We had a miscarriage last year of a surprise baby. She knew we planned to try for a baby.

Her response was "oh no. Really? Oh no".

Gutted

MulticolourMophead · 06/02/2020 13:45

I don't know why people take offence to the "was it planned?" question. I think people are just trying to guage the appropriate amount of enthusiasm to show.

You don't need to know whether it's planned or not, to be able to gauge your response. If they are telling you about it and seem happy, tat's all you need to know.

DobbyLovesSocks · 06/02/2020 13:50

At 34 weeks: you not had that baby yet? Hmm
Throughout my pregnancy: You're so big - are you sure it's not twins? I ended up giving this person a mouthful when she caught me on a particularly bad day (32 weeks and suffering with heartburn). She avoided me for the rest of my pregnancy

CheesecakeFactory87 · 06/02/2020 13:51

Announcing pregnancy - MIL responds "how did that happen." Ummmmm

And "when are you due", not for another four months "oh my god you're huge you look ready to pop".

Inappropriate touching is also ridiculous. I'm not your pet dog. Stop stroking me.

HeadachesByTheDozen · 06/02/2020 13:56

What is HCA?

Thisisgreen · 06/02/2020 13:58

“Are you going to keep it?”

The first words spoken by my manager when I told her I was pregnant (and I was smiley and happy, not looking miserable).

userabcname · 06/02/2020 13:58

I had the "you don't even look pregnant!" comments for the first few months (no duh, the baby is the size of an apple pip!) to "gosh you're HUGE! Is it twins?" in the final months with both my singleton pregnancies. With ds2 I was also amazed at how many people said "so if this one's a boy will you be trying for a girl next?" or "bet you hope this is a girl!" Um, no. I hope I'm having a healthy baby and how on earth do you "try" for a girl?! You don't exactly put an order in when ttc. Idiot people. Fwiw I'm very happy with my two boys!

TenPointsForGryffindor · 06/02/2020 14:00

I work in retail and had several people refer to the fact that I'd obviously had sex to get pregnant 'oh, looks like you've been busy you naughty girl!' while pointing at my belly (I was 27 and married).

Also had a few customers ask my colleagues if I was OK to be doing things or if I should even be at work. As if a baby was about to fall out of my vagina before their very eyes. Eugh!

StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff · 06/02/2020 14:03

The unsolicited advice fucks me off too.

'Are you sure you're allowed to eat that' - prawn sandwich

'Are you eating AGAIN' - a dry cracker to try to keep sickness at bay

'Oh make sure you don't have an epidural, my wife has had 4 kids and she's never needed one' - from a man who proudly proclaims never to have changed a nappy

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