Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 4 year olds are fucking hard work

169 replies

HerRoyalFattyness · 05/02/2020 22:14

Sometimes.

Well. Mine is.

DS1 is 11 and shares a room with DS2 (PITA 4yo)

DS1 got a Lego millennium falcon for Christmas.
He stored it safely in my room as it was too big for the shelves he has over his bunk bed (which is where he usually keeps things he doesn't want his brother to get)

DS2 tonight has decided to sneak into my room, carry the falcon back to their room and destroy it.
Now I know he's only 4 and just wanted to play. I know he didn't mean to break it.

But he did.
And now I've knelt down to help DS1 clear up the debris and knelt on a piece of fucking Lego and cut my knee Hmm

DS1 is completely not bothered by this and just said poor Chewie lost Han all over again because Han solo was in half Grin

But argh. I'll be having words tomorrow. He knows he's not meant to be in my room without me. He knows he's not meant to get out of bloody bed unless he needs a wee or something.

I'm not looking forward to it. He can throw.a right tantrum when he wants.

So AIBU to think he's a PITA?

I honestly feel like a shit mum for feeling this way sometimes.

OP posts:
Bacardi101 · 05/02/2020 22:16

You ANBU at all!!!!!!!! No advice but my 4yr old is also a menace and has recently decided she is scared of the shower -she’s not at all!

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 05/02/2020 22:24

Bacardi
Kids eh? Mine likes the shower luckily. Although he did go through a phase of not wanting water on his head, so maybe that's what's going on with your DD?

OP posts:
patsycrime · 05/02/2020 22:27

I feel your pain - DS2 (3 1/2) sprayed water all over DDs laminate bedroom floor, she slipped and has badly injured her head & back. When I told him to promise never do anything like that again, he replied 'I'll do it everyday because she smells"

SidneyPrescott · 05/02/2020 22:28

Don't tell me this!

My absolute angel turned into an absolute rotter the morning of his third birthday. I'm slowly getting my lovely bit back.

I can't go through that shit again!

trilbydoll · 05/02/2020 22:31

Dd2 doesn't listen to anything that doesn't fit with what she wants to do and when you inevitably end up shouting at her (because it's either that or stab myself from utter frustration) she cries because she doesn't like being shouted at.

Genuinely not sure how I haven't stabbed myself yet, I think it might be less painful than some of the interactions I've suffered through.

Elizadoeslittle19 · 05/02/2020 22:32

I'll add that my 6yro is terrible at the minute.. cheeky, answering us back, developed an attitude, winding up / teasing DC4, ... the list goes on Hmm

switswoo81 · 05/02/2020 22:33

Well my four year old is the exact same.she has an answer to bloody everything and two days ago cut half her hair off like the movie Tangled...
Preschool say she is a well behaved bright child.
She's 5 next week. Please God a metamorphosis will happen on her birthday..

GroggyLegs · 05/02/2020 22:35

I'll do it everyday because she smells

😂

My nearly 4yo is feral. He's a tiny psychopath in pink unicorn slippers.

When we go swimming he makes me play bunnies & we have to jump about in the water instead of swimming. When we go to gymfants instead of jumping on the trampoline we have to play cats & he makes me crawl about under the pommel horse.

To make it worse, I know one day I will miss these hideous times.

JayDot500 · 05/02/2020 22:36

My 4 year old has only just stopped waking his newborn brother 'to play' at any given opportunity. It's not him who has to rock this baby for half an hour to get him to sleep Angry

Wynston · 05/02/2020 22:44

Yabu.......my 3year old ds has pushed me to my limit on his 4th birthday he will morph into a child i can talk to and rationalise with......please god let this be true!!!!!

ddraigygoch · 05/02/2020 22:53

YANBU.

How do any children make it to adulthood in one piece!

My 5 year old can be lovely. But fuck me sideways if he rolls his eyes at me one more time I'm tempted to knock them out. His attitude could reduce a 16 year old to tears.
And the dramatics! My God asking him to do something when he's not in the mood is like asking him to lick shit off a shoe.

The worst though is when he's loving and affectionate. Because I just forget everything and he becomes this perfect angel who could never do no wrong....until I need him to find his shoes the next morning.

DD1 (3) is either going to rule the world or destroy it but either way she's more powerful than me or DH. We have agreed she runs this house.

DD2 is a baby. I like her.

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 05/02/2020 22:54

See, I don't even get the good at school bit.
He's in reception and the youngest in the class.
I got called into school last week because he pinched another boy in the face. Why? Because he said blue was his favourite colour but DS2 said he isn't allowed to like blue and punched the poor kid.

I once got called into nursery because he had been throwing conkers around the yard.
Me: why did you throw them?
DS2: it was funny
Me: well I don't think anybody was laughing were they?
DS2: I was

Argh!

I was fooled. I had an easy first born.
My second (DD) was about of a terror, but she has a severe anxiety disorder which kind of explains it. And she's always been good in public shes too nervous to play up

But DS2 is a law into himself.

OP posts:
Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 05/02/2020 22:54

Law unto himself not into ffs. I hate this phone.

OP posts:
Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 05/02/2020 22:57

The worst though is when he's loving and affectionate. Because I just forget everything and he becomes this perfect angel who could never do no wrong

Oh god yes!
I put him to bed the other night and he thanked me just for being me and melted my heart.
Next morning he refused to get dressed for school and walked at a snails pace until we were late.
I'm on crutches so I can't carry him, or even hold his hand and bloody drag him down the street.
I'm also a single mum, so no help unfortunately.

OP posts:
123testing · 05/02/2020 23:00

YANBU
They. Are. Bloody. Hard. Work.

screamer1 · 05/02/2020 23:05

@ddraigygoch I'm in exactly the same boat. 5 year old son with attitude and 3 yo DD who has an absolute will of steel. Her tantrums terrify me and dh, and once there done she'll act as if we're the ones with the problem. She's a maniac.

screamer1 · 05/02/2020 23:05
  • once they're done
pallisers · 05/02/2020 23:10

Ha. 20 years ago my friend said to me "I know they tell you about the terrible twos but why did no one warn me about the fucking fours"

bookmum08 · 05/02/2020 23:10

Have you read him the Charlie and Lola book where Charlie tells Lola not to touch his home made space rocket and of course she does and it breaks. She blames it on her imaginary friend! Eventually she feels bad and tells the truth and says sorry. Maybe worth a read if he is the type of kid who gets the 'message' in a book (some don't - it just goes over their head)!
But yeah - 4 = big giant pain in the butt.
Speaking of pain - I hope your knee feels better. Lego injuries. Been there. Done that. Grin

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 05/02/2020 23:13

bookmum if it isn't were going on a bear hunt he doesn't want to know.
I have hundreds and hundreds of children's books. He just isn't interested.

Wanna know what makes this worse? I used to work in a Nursery.
I only quit a few weeks ago when ex left us.
And I'm SENCO trained.

I'm literally trained to deal with this shit and still he sends me over the edge HmmConfusedGrin

OP posts:
screamer1 · 05/02/2020 23:16

Tbh @HerRoyalFattyness the fact that you are trained and still can't deal with their shit makes me feel a lot better!

Sorry about the ex Thanks

bookmum08 · 05/02/2020 23:17

Ah well at least he has a good taste in books (well one book). I like that one.
"swishy swashy"

FourForYouGlenCoco · 05/02/2020 23:17

At the time of writing, the poll universally agrees that YANBU, which I think says it all Grin

DD1 was great at 4 - calm, polite, funny, good company, patient, basically the perfect angel child. I, being a bit of a smug pfb/ftm type, assumed that my excellent parenting skills had resulted in such a child.

DS is now 3.5 and I feel like kicking him on a near-daily basis (except I would NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT since he screams his fucking head off if a breath of wind or somesuch other terrible violence touches him and ‘hurts his fingers’) (also, disclaimer for the MN fun sponges: I would not really kick him).
He has massive screaming meltdowns multiple times a day; he thinks it’s hilarious to do the opposite of whatever I’ve asked him to do (jumping round bollock naked on the sofa five minutes after we’re supposed to have left for the school run? CHECK); he’s horrible to his little so-called friends (some of whom are also horrible, admittedly, what with also being 3); he’s horrible to his sisters; he pushes boundaries constantly. I am exhausted. Luckily for me he’s a summer baby, so 6 weeks after he turns 4 he’ll become school’s problem for 6 hours a day Grin

Just DD2 to go. 21 months and a total hellraiser. I see a lot of shouting (from her and me) and a lot of gin in my future over the next few years. Some days I long for solitary confinement.

Original poster
HerRoyalFattyness · 05/02/2020 23:18

screamer glad I could help Grin

Bookmum at least it isn't the goddamn gruffalo. Grin

OP posts:
FourForYouGlenCoco · 05/02/2020 23:18

@HerRoyalFattyness I own a preschool! I find everyone else’s kids an absolute breeze. My own do my swede in Grin