To think 4 year olds are fucking hard work

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Sometimes.

Well. Mine is.

DS1 is 11 and shares a room with DS2 (PITA 4yo)

DS1 got a Lego millennium falcon for Christmas.
He stored it safely in my room as it was too big for the shelves he has over his bunk bed (which is where he usually keeps things he doesn't want his brother to get)

DS2 tonight has decided to sneak into my room, carry the falcon back to their room and destroy it.
Now I know he's only 4 and just wanted to play. I know he didn't mean to break it.

But he did.
And now I've knelt down to help DS1 clear up the debris and knelt on a piece of fucking Lego and cut my knee

DS1 is completely not bothered by this and just said poor Chewie lost Han all over again because Han solo was in half

But argh. I'll be having words tomorrow. He knows he's not meant to be in my room without me. He knows he's not meant to get out of bloody bed unless he needs a wee or something.

I'm not looking forward to it. He can throw.a right tantrum when he wants.

So AIBU to think he's a PITA?

I honestly feel like a shit mum for feeling this way sometimes.

A few years ago my non verbal autistic 3 year old went into his 4 year old brothers minecraft world and turned his house floor to lava

He built a house in the sea and enticed his brothers pet dogs in then blocked them in

He dug a hole and put all the villagers into it and they couldnt get out

We were all shocked that he was able to do it.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall

That is absolutely genius and now I know how I will troll DS1 on Minecraft next time we play

Oh yes and the 4 year old had selective mutism but that didnt apply to in our home where he talked none stop

Ah. SM. The joy of it.
I go through phases of feeling sorry for DD because I know how desperate she is to be able to talk to her teachers.
And then other days I kind of almost wish she was mute here too... Not quite, but almost.

Hes 9 next month and while hes still not a big talker at school he does chat , had his first line in the school play this year

The little one is now 7 and no longer non verbal. He monologues loudly at home from the minute he wakes up till he goes to sleep so i get what you mean 🤣

@ddraigygoch@HerRoyalFattyness, in my opinion, having weathered the preteen years, if they’re still alive by 14 (and not died from matricide) you’re doing a good job! My dental bills are massive from all the having to grit and grind my teeth rather than absolutely bellowing at my 12-year-old in the style of Mrs Weasley and one of her Howlers to Ron.

In comparison, my four-year-old’s extreme intransigence is a walk in the park.

Roll on 18 and university (or prison)!

Actually , i think the worst we had was with ds2 at 5, exps niece had her baptism. Well the 5 year old had been showing an interest in the church and was looking fwd to going. The priest/vicar (not sure, Catholic ceremony ) was lovely and gave him things to hand out

Half way through he pipes up, well there's no such thing as god . He got louder and louder and i carried him out over my shoulder with him still screeching it

Hed never once shown any views of his none believing before that

All in front of the very staunch catholic family who came over from the ROI for the occasion

Hes 17 now and luckily for us thats the worst thing hes ever done. The embarrassment at the time though

Do you remember that episode of Harry Enfield and chums when Kevin the teenager turned 13? Well that is almost exactly what happened when my daughter turned 3. She went to bed a sweet little 2 year old and woke up a rampaging, cheeky, violent, hell beast, with an iron will to match. 😫

Me: Don't poke the dog in the eye. It's not nice.

DD: Laughs maniacally whilst further attempting to prod DDog.

Me: Stop it, now, it's not funny.

DD: It is a bit funny, mama.

Me: It is not funny at all. Now stop it at once.

DD: I'M A CAT. MEOW. PULL MY SOCKS UP. NO NOT LIKE THAT!!! THERES A STONE IN MY SHOOOOOOOOOOOOE.

Bath times are awful, she's recently decided that toothpaste is 'spiky' so brushing her teeth is an event in itself, hates having her hair brushed and is OBSESSED with washing her hands. I can't take my eyes of her for a second as she will be straight in the bathroom attempting to flood it because she absolutely must have the sodding plug in. I live for the days I can release her into soft play with the other feral little darlings and let her burn some of it off.

I am counting the days till she starts nursery and for 3 glorious hours a day she will be someone else's problem.

😭 I was hoping that once my eldest turns 4 next month we might be out of this seemingly never ending hell! But apparently not!
Her attitude, the tantrums & the screaming! (For the love of God I just wish she'd stop the screaming!) I swear if I had any cupboards in this house she'd be locked in one like Harry Potter!
It's so bloody relentless!
But on the flip side, this morning she was absolutely bloody delightful, did as she was asked; got dressed & help put her clean laundry in the drawers 😱 & fetched things to go in her & her brothers bags to take with us to Grandparents without any fuss. She even helped tidy the toys up!

I have a DS 12 - it's either he's the loveliest kindest thoughtful child ever or a eye rolling,attitude rude teenager who is dramatic about everything and nothing and whinges about the most inane things , wants everything on his terms and is a PITA. He has driven me to a large negroni tonight - and then as he woke from his slumber he looked at me and said Mummy I'm sorry I was so mean - I love you soooooo much and he was back to my lovely squishy son again. I gues s the next 20 years are gong to be just the same

I think all three year olds have a secret online chatroom where they discuss in words of one syllable how to throw the most terrifying, hideous, soul destroying tantrums. I now give in and find only the fireman Sam you tube clips that have Norman Psycho price in for 80% of the show. I am scared if I don't.

4yos are a PITA. We only finished it with DD1 a few months ago (at a little over 5), and at just over 3.5 DD2 has begun in earnest. We had about 3 months respite. DD2 was such a lovely child, now I'm not sure whether I'm going to end up maiming her or me as a result of the shitty behaviour, constant whining and willful incompetence (the solitary confinement sounds bliss). My alcohol consumption has definitely increased in recent months. I look at it as a protective measure against the maiming.
DD2 example: in some public toilets last week, and someone has left their sleeping baby in a pram next to the hand dryers whilst taking their toddler to the loo. 'DD2 we're not going to dry our hands this time because we'll wake that sleeping baby' 'OK Mummy'. She ran straight over and jammed her hands into the dryer. She's a bright kid. She knew exactly what she was doing.

I remember saying to DD1 once at a similar age 'what part of no don't you understand?'. She looked me square in the face, replied 'The no part', and smirked 😡

teddyfleece... But... I'm only 28... Does that mean I'm still an arsehole?

Shanking I have the opposite problem with DS2. He hates hand dryers. Loathes them with all his 4 year old might.
He once cried for 5 hours because a stranger used the hand dryer and he didn't like it.
DD is horrible and will often use the hand dryers on purpose just to annoy her brother.
As I'm disabled, I have a radar key and use accessible toilets.
I hoped it would mean an end to the tantrums about hand dryers. But no
DD has to wind him up

Wait till 6 and 7... just wait. My 7 year old is fucking awful and my speech delayed 6 year old now has the language skills to argue back. I've resorted to "who taught you to talk?" several times - to get the answer of her amazing speech therapist's name. There are days I wish for a refund when the smart arse has a bloody answer for everything.

I'm an ex bloody teacher and speech therapy student but my own... god no!

Kuponut my selectively mute 6 year old is like that
I tell her she's meant to be mute and she just laughs at me.

I seem to remember reading ages ago in Dr Spock (the then parenting bible) something like, ‘while 3-6 year olds are generally delightful, he would make a partial exception for 4 year olds’.

Ignore the hairs. I can't be assed shaving.
But look! Look at my knee because of the little shit!
And he had the cheek to tell me this morning he is very much sorry.

Ah shit...pic didn't load

My 6yr old is acting like a stroppy teenager atm.I honestly feel like I'm experiencing the teen years.

Ha. 20 years ago my friend said to me "I know they tell you about the terrible twos but why did no one warn me about the fucking fours"

Indeed, and also 'threenagers'. My DD2 (7) was very argumentative right from when she started to really talk. Now she's 7 and it's impossible to win an argument with her so I just walk away and leave her to sulk, which she's always been good at doing.

DD1 (10) lashes out physically, throwing whatever is to hand, hitting and kicking (she has adoption related attachment issues and SEN. She started that behaviour at around 4 years of age.

So I really feel your pain, OP. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, but sadly it doesn't. Although an older child does have more understanding about the world so they're a good deal less unreasonable in what they argue about.

@DeadButDelicious we watched that episode on Netflix the other night and I said omg its ds..hes 6

Right, so I feel we've all be duped.

Everyone warns you about sleepless nights and crying babies.
Everyone warns you about terrible twos.
Everyone warns you about the teenage years.

Why does no fucker warn you about the rest of it?!

I have twin 3.5YO boys who are both autistic, non verbal and delayed in every single area (particularly understanding of language) except for gross motor. I basically have Olympic level gymnasts, with the understanding of infants. They are ridiculous - remember those free running videos that were all the rage about a decade ago? That’s my twins.

I envy you having just the one destructor! At least my two haven’t figured out they could work together yet. When they do, I suspect we will no longer have a house.

4 is soooooo much worse than 2! Mine were both awful at 4. Then DD1 was foul at 6, DD2 was dreadful at 9 and honestly, the teenage years have been a doddle by comparison. Here's wishing easy teen times to all thos with 4 year old fiends.