To think 4 year olds are fucking hard work

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Sometimes.

Well. Mine is.

DS1 is 11 and shares a room with DS2 (PITA 4yo)

DS1 got a Lego millennium falcon for Christmas.
He stored it safely in my room as it was too big for the shelves he has over his bunk bed (which is where he usually keeps things he doesn't want his brother to get)

DS2 tonight has decided to sneak into my room, carry the falcon back to their room and destroy it.
Now I know he's only 4 and just wanted to play. I know he didn't mean to break it.

But he did.
And now I've knelt down to help DS1 clear up the debris and knelt on a piece of fucking Lego and cut my knee

DS1 is completely not bothered by this and just said poor Chewie lost Han all over again because Han solo was in half

But argh. I'll be having words tomorrow. He knows he's not meant to be in my room without me. He knows he's not meant to get out of bloody bed unless he needs a wee or something.

I'm not looking forward to it. He can throw.a right tantrum when he wants.

So AIBU to think he's a PITA?

I honestly feel like a shit mum for feeling this way sometimes.

My 4yo is coming out the other side now, but my god does she have her moments.

Best summed up as I would 100% jump in front of a car for her, but also because of her.

Answering back and smirking when being told off are the two that are really pushing me to the edge at the minute.

She's an angel at nursery though. She's the oldest in the group (v. early September birthday) and her teacher tells me how helpful, kind, polite, articulate, smart, empathetic... she is. I have more than once wanted to ask whether we were speaking about the same child.

But then she looks at me and says 'you're the best, lovely mummy. I love you to the moon and starts and back again' - and I want to cry because of how much I love her.

Parenting ay.

DH is an ex primary teacher, lovely patient man. I think he raised his voice with a class once. Despite this DS knows exactly which buttons to press!

Sorry but this is the most reassuring thread I’ve read in mumsnet! I think it should be compulsory reading before you decide to have kids 😂
My 4yo can be so engaging and interesting company but other times he’s a bloody nightmare!! He’s rude, abrasive and comes across like an evil genius planning world domination!! He’s super bright so his arguing and put downs would give a sullen teenager a run for their money! Number 3 is imminent and I’m terrified! I’d only heard of the ‘fab fours’ not the f fours but the latter certainly fits in better with my experience!

My youngest is 2 in April and is already worse than my 3.5 year old she purposely hits her and destroys her things then looks at me with more defiance than is normal in a child that young! She justs shouts no continuously and turns away from me.

We also have the spitting phase at the moment. Also the latest one: wee in the potty. Wait for Mummy to take it to be emptied. Wee again, all over the floor.

Last night, after telling us just how sorry he was, he sneaked into my room and stole a different bloody Lego set to destroy.

Luckily I didn't injure myself cleaning it up this time but ffs!
The kid is a rogue.

My 2 DDs went through a phase of cutting each other's hair, which made them look so scruffy. I think it was because their friends' mum, who is also my friend, is a hair dresser. It only happened a couple of times (both times my DH was the one who was supposed to have been supervising them 🤣), but it was really embarrassing at the time.

I have found my people. This is so reassuring! Mine is just like @Alpacamabags’s class - angel for others, saves worst excesses for us. Teacher, childminder, etc, look at me with eyes on stalks when I mention some of his antics.

The answering back, the smirking when being told off, the incessant questions, current obsession with the time, the not listening - current favourite is “I did listen but I didn’t hear”. Doesn’t work when the conversation goes like this:

“Mummy, what time is it?”
“Five to four”
“What?” (Think Kevin the Teenager tone)
“Five to four”
“Mummy, what time is it?”
“Five to four, MiniCat, like I just said”
“I did listen but I didn’t hear”

Ten seconds later:

“Mummy, what time is it?”
Time for Mummy to go hide in the kitchen with chocolate, sweetheart.

The 'why' questions used to really bug me as well. I often resorted to saying'Because I said so.' Lol

Yep, we have “Because I’m asking/telling you to” and, in desperate moments, “Because that’s the way the world works”....

So much of this is painfully familiar! DD is 5.5 now and is getting better but at glacial speed. Even this summer she had an epic tantrum over not being allowed to buy yet another cuddly toy in Sainsbury's. We had to carry her out and it still went on for ages after that.
She's not quite angelic at school but does ok I think.
She very often says she loves me and offers cuddles. It's lovely.

I'm so glad I started this thread.
It's reassured me that it isn't just my kid that's a pain in the arse, and has enabled us to warn others that it does not get any fucking better as they get older

DD1 was 5 a fortnight ago and is slowly getting better but in the last month we've had:

'Mummy, can I drive the car?'
Me: No
DD1 'Er, Mummy, you do realise I'm nearly 5, right?'

and the whole going for a wee - getting off the loo - having another wee on the floor.......

Also, when we had to take a diversion en route to school yesterday because of roadworks, we had
'Mummy, Mummy, Mummy. I'll tell you where to go. I know the shortcut Daddy takes.'

Bloody backseat driving at 5!!

The backseat driving drives me insane!!!

Mummy Go! The light is green! Why aren't you going?! You need to go!

Yea...that's green genius but the filter light isn't.

The backseat driving can get worse as they get older, I'm sorry to say. My DDs have learned to read the speedo and tell us off for speeding. Not realising that not all roads have the same speed limit.

@Mittens030869 my son does that!! And he has a go if I manage to get through the lights on an amber light.

I don't drive, so I rely on public transport. So no backseat driving here thank Christ.

Forgot this one - DD2 has medical issues making her incredibly late to toilet train. About 3 1/2 in desperation before school start I bought l tried the cartoon character of choice on pants thing.

Paw Patrol... Discussion about how we don't want to get wee on our favourite pups do we?
Smart arse child... "It ok to wee on Zuma... He's a water pup"

Just had the giant tantrum/ refusing to walk screaming fit. Feel like SS are going to turn up any minute, such were the evil looks I was getting

It's their job. I'm sorry about your knee.

"It ok to wee on Zuma... He's a water pup"

Genius

If I hear the phrase 'there a stone in ma shooooooooooooooo' one more time I'm going to run away from home.

DeadButDelicious

We definitely need the parents retreat where we can escape from the horrors of children.

YANBU OP. My ds is a total asshat most days.

@DeadButDelicious Sorry, that made me laugh. 'There's a stone in my shoe, dear Liza'. Remember the song?? 🤣🤣🤣