Why don't you drive. ?

[Fivetillmidnight]

So many posts here from women with various issues , (mostly logistical) with an 'aside' of ... 'dp/DH drives I don't '.

AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?

My moderate/severe categorised Dss has just passed his test. ( well done him !) with the help of Motorbility . Surely if he can do it then there is no excuse not to learn ? and relieve the burden for a family where one is the sole driver (normally the man) .

But equally applicable to a family where the women does all the transportation.

Obviously not an issue for those who don't need a car. This refers to those where a car is used for the family and one adult does ALL the driving .

And when they want to do something that's too far to walk, then what ?
Bus, taxi, say no?
Of all the reasons to learn to drive the small possibility of a remote children's activity is pretty low down on the list.

Why would I want to drive? Cars make people lazy

Because I’m really bad at it - I’ve failed 4 tests - I find it boring and stressful. I’m still keeping going and just hoping that one day I’ll pass on a day when I’m a bit less shit than normal

D

@AwfulSomething

cars make people lazy.

What utter rot.

I have to add, the only way I could afford to learn to drive in the first place is because my dad bought me lessons! They're ridiculously expensive, even back in the early 00's they were about £25. Then there's the fact that new driver insurance, even for a banger, is way beyond many people's budgets.

Being taught how to drive by a relative is not widely recommended because unless they passed their test fairly recently (in the last 5 years, say) then you will likely be taught too many bad habits that we all inevitably pick up in our driving lives to be able to pass the test.

I never had parents willing or able to teach me, and was living on my own at 17 so my job paid my rent and bills. I haven't been able to afford the lessons since for a few reasons, and when dp and I found out we were expecting it was safer for him to get his licence since I was pregnant. And can't afford the lessons on maternity leave. So yeah everyone should learn if they can but not everyone can get their licence for £165 all in...

Also you can't assume partners will teach people as they may not have been driving long enough or be confident enough to do so. There are rules about that too it's not as simple as "jump in the car and have a go since it's in the drive way"

The days of people living within a mile of their workplace, all their family, all their mates, all the pubs, the doctors, the dentists, the hairdressers, the opticians, the hospital, the bookies, the local street market, every shop they need, and a main bus route, are long gone!
Well last time I checked I was living in 2020 just like everyone else and I can walk to nearly all those places and get a bus, a train or a taxi to most of the others. I won't claim to be able to get to every shop I need but well, it's 2020 and there's this thing called online shopping.

I would hate to not be able to drive, and no one paid for my lessons for me. I have my own car BUT I very rarely drive my husband, he hates my driving and I hate his comments. He would be very happy if I didn't drive!
As for the 1950s housewife comment both my grandmother and mother could drive. As could my mother in law.

I passed my test first time (which surprised me as I wasn’t a confident driver). A few months later I had an accident and wrote off the car by driving into a bus. I bought another car and had another accident by hitting some parked cars because I can’t judge distances. After my third accident and a police caution, I decided that it was in everyone’s interests that I stopped driving.

OP, do you really think I should start driving again?

i've never learnt to drive, I don't need to. I get round by walking, public transport and the ocassional taxi.
My son passed his test 4 years ago, he hasn't driven since. If he needs to drive for work he plans on taking a few refresher lessons but at the moment he doesn't need to drive. His dad drives him to his uni town at the beginning and end of the year but apart from that he uses public transport or walks, like me.
My eldest son couldn't wait to get his own car after he passed his test, and drives pretty much every day. He did have a lot of debt as a result of buying shit cars though.

In my circle of friends, the non-drivers are those who have mainly lived in places with good public transport so there's been no real urgency to learn. And now that we're older it's a question of time and/or money.

How very narrow-minded. I have pretty bad anxiety and struggle with direction, left and rights and making quick decisions. I had 20 lessons and was a wreck after all of them. People are ALL different with different personalities. Not all of us are wired to drive. DH drives and is fine being the only driver.

I know my limits. I'm good at other things. And that's ok.

I agree OP. My friends husband says he doesn't fancy it. This means she does all the driving.

I never really wanted to learn when I was younger. Now I have 3 dc I wish I had learnt when I was young and had the money but I can’t afford to learn now do walking and the bus it is for me.

I’m a happy person, but if I ever hurt someone in a car accident, I will basically never be happy again. I will never stop thinking about it and I will keep replaying the accident in my head over and over again.

I have no interest in driving for many reasons. All of which are my life choices. HTH.

I have one of those 'various issues'. Lost close friends in a car accident aged 18, witnessed horrific RTA aged 21. I tried for years and can drive ably under supervision but go to pieces in an exam. I have ptsd and am not an amiable travel companion.

Not driving was never a problem in the city but now living in the more rural location it is challenging. I am 48 and don't ask for lifts, I use public transport and it is a good conversation opener for the business I run.

Ive been driving for 22 years. But I cannot drive or have never attempted to drive on a motorway. The speed just makes me nervous. So I just drive locally.

48 and can't drive. Had lessons at 17 and hated them. Then moved to Japan after university followed by London so no need. Developed visual problems in my 30s so wouldn't feel safe when my right eye is really bad. Also cant afford it now. I walk to work and town. I use public transport. Sometimes lifts from family.

I got ran over by a new driver as a child. The world does not need more drivers.

PTSD after being in a car crash

I tried but I was really rubbish. I could not concentrate, my mind kept wandering and whenever oncoming cars got a little to close my reaction was to shut my eyes. My instructor/s were forever grabbing the steering wheel. In the 3 years I was learning non of them (I tried 3 different instructors) said I was ready to take my test. I came to the same conclusion and decided the roads would be a lot safer without me driving on them.

This again? Why should people have to justify why they don't drive?

"And yet somehow, many many people learn to drive. And very few people can afford it. Saying 'I cannot afford it' is an excuse, usually made by the 'entitled brigade' who will cadge lifts off anyone and everyone, because they 'can't afford to learn to learn to drive' themselves. hmm Quite happy to take lifts off people who have spent money learning though (and also spending money running their car!) hmm"

Typical spiteful out of touch MN shite. Your experiences are not universal. There are people who cannot afford to keep their homes warm during winter but sure not being to afford driving lessons is an "excuse". If people irl are taking the piss out of you for lifts then maybe use some of that bitterness ripping out of you to grow a spine and tell them no rather than spewing your bile here.