To not want to waste annual leave on unwell child?

[coffeeforone]

DH & I work full time and DC (age 1 and 3) go to nursery. If they are ill we alternate staying at home with them. I can do my job from home but my employer doesn't really encourage it, if DC is unwell and its my turn then I usually say I'll work remotely, doing as much as I can and make up the work in the evening once DH gets home. I don't think they are keen on this as I've done it 3 times since October and I don't get the impression they like it. They say 'ok, as a one off' but try to make alternative arrangements for next time. My alternatives would be:

1. emergency unpaid leave (legal right I think). Can't really afford lots of these days, and I don't think they'd like this either.
2. call in sick myself (I would get paid but it's a bit fraudulent). I'm never Ill myself if that makes a difference.
3. last minute holiday (which could potentially mean needing to cancel booked holiday or asking for unpaid leave

There are no alternatives are there. What would your employer ask you to do?

I think it's pretty normal to have to book last minute annual leave. It would be lovely to save leave for nice plans instead of sat home with sick child but most parents are in the same situation and not sure if there's really an alternative

@Sewrainbow dh and I are both teachers and we both get leave for emergency childcare. I think he's been having you on!

Lucky if some places give parental leave

They have to allow parental leave. I think you are entitled to 18 weeks (in total) until they are 18 or something similar. I might be wrong on the figures but it is a government entitlement.

This does however have to be taken in blocks rather than individual days.

I work from home with sick kids BUT my youngest is 11 - I certainly didn't when they were 1 and 3! We are allowed to take annual leave or unpaid leave. Sadly no paid dependents' leave.

Not the norm here. Usually paid leave or make the hours up if it's going on too long or too many occasions

Calling in sick to look after children is one of the leading reasons for the gender pay gap

You have absolutely no basis for this assertion. GPG is far more complex than that. How shitty of you to try and lay the blame on OP and other working mums.

I also really recommend the chicken pox vaccine. That's a week of leave per child potentially. I got my 2nd done after a horrific experience with first.

You could use a 1 week block of unpaid parental leave to go on holiday (as can’t use parental leave for ad hoc days)

That frees up a week of AL to use on sickness ?

Obviously this costs you a week’s pay though maybe that’s less expensive than switching to a nanny.

I think your options are

• more £ on childcare (nanny) - option most likely to keep employer happy
• take more unpaid leave so lose pay
• accept using AL for sickness so less left for holiday
• try to WFH with sick kids and annoy your employer when you can’t get stuff done

Up to you, there’s no perfect solution

I'm really lucky and currently have a job with 5 days paid dependants leave per rolling 12 months. However they can only be triggered one day at a time so a rolling illness for either child would have to be booked as annual leave after the first day. I save at least 1 week of holiday hours per year to accommodate this just in case. Worse case scenario those hours get carried over into the following year.

My husband isn't so lucky, his dependants leave is unpaid...plus he's not allowed to use holiday time on the same day.

We have to balance out who takes dependants leave based on my workload and how much we need my husband to have a full pay check that month.

Thankfully as our girls are older (12 & 7) this is less of a problem. The 12 year old just needs company when ill so working from home is perfectly reasonable and the youngest seems to be exiting the "catch every illness under the sun" phase that happens in early years of school.

You need to balance the reality of lovely family holidays vs taking unpaid leave, for the short term at least. It does get easier the older they get.

Your options are 1 and 3 - either use part of your annual leave or take unpaid dependent leave.

Call in sick for yourself. Annual leave is too precious when both parents work full time.

Do NOT do this. If you do, you are likely then to have all the leave you want until you get another job ........ Annual leave is precious for everyone not just parents. I'm having to take some days off to take my mum to her regular immunotherapy appointments but that's just the way it is.

I used my annual leave I saved 5 days each year to cover kids sickness especially when they were young and at nursery. We didn't really have holidays together just alternated who was off.

OP if you do have to use your annual leave to take child sickness days then I would stop giving them my free unpaid overtime. No more evenings and weekends, I think its fair just to work your contracted hours xxx

I take my annual leave. I can’t work from home but I wouldn’t expect them to let me work from home if I’m taking care of DD anyway.

All parents I know just use TOIL or annual leave. Kids get sick, it happens. I tend to budget about 5 days per year for this.

I also really recommend the chicken pox vaccine. That's a week of leave per child potentially. I got my 2nd done after a horrific experience with first.

Yes! I wish I was told/ knew about this vaccine. DD just had it (18 months old), it was awful. Loads of time off for both of us and no sleep. The whole nursery was off wish it so I’m guessing not many know there is a vaccine.

I think people don't get the vaccine because a) it's expensive (though cheaper than a week of unpaid leave!) and b) the cultural attitude is still very much that chickenpox is a normal childhood milestone and it's a bit sus to try and avoid it. I got judged for getting it for DS by other mothers (a group which have generally been... unsupportive of my working full-time) - 'oh I suppose you don't have time for him to be sick', 'not really, no!'

I either take holiday or work from home. It would depend on what was wrong with my child really. I'm lucky that my employers have generally been really supportive.

if you are someone who never uses their sick leave then simply call in sick yourself.

We also get maybe up to 10 days paid leave for things like emergency dependence care etc. TBH, I'm treated that well with flexibility st work, I think I logged on for a while to catch up while my son watched tv ill. So that's ok, because there was no expectation I had to, I wanted to.

I'd definitely check your contract/policies in relation to emergency dependence care. I've been at a few places that give a small/'reasonable' amount of paid time off.

I thought you got 5 days paid leave 'family days' I think they are called. I didn't realise they don't have to pay you

I've previously had to use holiday or take it unpaid.
In my current role I am allowed to work flexibly, I don't really like WFH as i like to separate work and home, I am really grateful I have this option though.

If I have to be in the office though my OH (if in the country) will work from home. Again very lucky to be able to do this. I do think flexible working is beneficial to the business in these cases, provided you are disciplined enough to hit your deadlines.

surely nobody wants to 'waste' their annual leave on sick children!!!! but unfortunately one of the cons of being a parent is that when they are sick they need someone to look after them.

me and DH take it in turns to stay off with them.
I used to work evening/weekends up until my youngest went to school so if a child was sick off school it didnt matter as i was home anyway.
Then i worked from home so again if a child was off sick i could work around them.
Now I work in an office me and dh take it in turns depending on whos had time off lately, got something on etc.

it would be nice to family nearby who didnt work who could have the kids. luckily MIL works term time so she either comes to us or the kids go to hers for a week here and there in the school holidays which helps with our annual leave.

Thanks for the replies! For those that mentioned the chickenpox vaccine yes - my 3 year old is vaccinated and my 1 year old will be done soon. I took him to an appointment a few weeks ago but they couldn't do it as it was too soon after his MMR etc.
if you are someone who never uses their sick leave then simply call in sick yourself.
I literally never use my sick. I have worked there 8 years and have had one day sickness 4 years ago.

We have a flexitime system. So I have banked 15 hours and if one is ill I use that and then build it back up again. Then I’m not technically using annual leave. But they aren’t losing any of my time as I’ve worked over

We have a flexitime system. So I have banked 15 hours and if one is ill I use that and then build it back up again. Then I’m not technically using annual leave. But they aren’t losing any of my time as I’ve worked over

@speakout - I agree with your answer. People with young children need a nanny or take unpaid leave. What if they work in a small practice (doctor, dentist) what happens to the patients if a Locum cannot be found? It seems to me parents want it all, well paid job, holidays and children who are never ill. Life is not that regulated and an employer should not pay the price. Unpaid leave is the only way or stay at home until the children are past the ‘nursery illnesses’. People do not take everything into account when combining work and very young children