To not want to waste annual leave on unwell child?

[coffeeforone]

DH & I work full time and DC (age 1 and 3) go to nursery. If they are ill we alternate staying at home with them. I can do my job from home but my employer doesn't really encourage it, if DC is unwell and its my turn then I usually say I'll work remotely, doing as much as I can and make up the work in the evening once DH gets home. I don't think they are keen on this as I've done it 3 times since October and I don't get the impression they like it. They say 'ok, as a one off' but try to make alternative arrangements for next time. My alternatives would be:

1. emergency unpaid leave (legal right I think). Can't really afford lots of these days, and I don't think they'd like this either.
2. call in sick myself (I would get paid but it's a bit fraudulent). I'm never Ill myself if that makes a difference.
3. last minute holiday (which could potentially mean needing to cancel booked holiday or asking for unpaid leave

There are no alternatives are there. What would your employer ask you to do?

Legitimate reasons for absence:

Annual leave
Sick leave
Unpaix leave
Compassionate leave
Unpaid parental leave

The employment contract sets out your obligations and you are required to meet them.

It's tough but realistically an employee cannot work from home and care for a child.

Childminders are more flexible than nurseries. If you aren't available for work you can't expect to be paid unless you take authorised paid leave such as holiday.

I have one member of staff with tinies at present. She is always in early and often leaves late. I am flexible on the basis that she pays it forward. If I had two members of staff with tinies and one worked 9-5 and took more than they gave I couldn't be as flexible.

I'm lucky that I work for a really flexible employer who would let me work at home, or make up time later, or take a last minute holiday. Likewise when we have employees who have people with older family members who need care or support. I allow the same flexibility to the employees who report to me. As a result we have hugely dedicated staff and a seriously low turnover rate. Most employees have been employed for 15 years plus now. I wish more employers could see the value in offering flexibility to their staff. Anything else is so short sighted. What I find really depressing is the number of parents on here who perpetuate the short sighted attitude despite surely having had issues themselves if they've been working parents.

If your boss is expecting you to use annual leave is there a way to negotiate an increase to your annual leave allowance?

Why on earth should a parent get more annual leave than everyone else? Why should their employer pay for their leave?

Your employer is happy for you to take annual leave at short notice. That's pretty good.
I had DC 2 years apart and during the 5+ years they went to the germ pit that is nursery I pretty much used all my A/L on sick children. This was a few years ago before any parental leave laws.

Jesus wept, eh? Imagine wanting to enjoy some of your life and not just endure it hmm

OP chose to have children. Who else do you think should bear the responsibility of looking after them?

If DC2 is 1 then you’re probably not long back from mat leave, and in 4 months you’ve had to “work from home” 3 times, actually taking care of your kids during the day and making up the time in the evening.

I can see why their patience might be wearing thin. Do you otherwise show lots of flexibility?

I went back when DC2 was 5.5 months old. He is 15 months now so I've had 3 days off in a year. Yes I'm very flexible. I will stay late in the evening if required (DH usually does pickup), and quite often log on at weekends and after bed time. I am expected to pick up emails and respond out of hours.

I paid for a nanny , which was almost all of my salary for many years. If she was away and later when all DC in senior school my employers were generous in an emergency but on the whole I deducted it from my holiday allowance.

I use annual leave. I save 5-10 days a year for sickness and childcare failures. That still leaves 20 days, so four weeks of "proper" holidays, which is ok.

Still not answering the nanny suggestions OP?
If you’re in the sort of job which expects you to log on in the evenings and weekends, hopefully they pay well enough for a nanny?

If you have lots of time off for sick children, regardless of whether you use annual leave or unpaid leave or whatever, it will most likely affect how you are viewed at work.

It’s very hard for both parents who are working. The trouble is you can’t let parents take time off to care for sick children as those who don’t have dependent children would, rightly, feel that it’s unfair.
I think that you should just suck it up when your children are poorly . Either you or your partner takes unpaid leave to look after your children.

If you don't mind me asking OP, what are paying for your two DC's to be in nursery full time?

To this and all the other nanny suggestions - we have done the maths and I don't think it's cheaper. We pay £2500 pcm for both of them full time, we were looking at £35k for a nannny. And then also what if the nanny is sick?

We get the first day of a child's sickness granted as a day off. Not annual leave or emergency. They give us the day.

When DC were younger my mum lived with us/spent half the week with us helping with childcare, MIL has also lived nearby for the last 9 years. Now MIL is frailer I hesitate to send DC to her, but she would welcome them. I guess I would for a bad cold, but not Noro.

We are lucky that DH works Mainly evenings, with a couple of mornings,
I work traditional office hours. But, if I have deadlines I work late, I also am required to travel, which builds up some leeway (I am too senior to have TOIL in my contract). My employer is very flexible, and having been there for 24 years with a very good record, I get to work from home/flex my hours as necessary.

I’m also lucky that mine mostly slept when I’ll and were happy to watch tv.

I feel your pain OP. My DD has multiple allergies, suspected asthma, has caught every bug going in creche and even took a reaction to her MMR jab that lasted a week!! Thankfully my boss is very understanding but it decimated my leave. I had 32 annual leave days accrued when I went back from maternity and about 27 of them went on minding her while she was ill or taking her to hospital appointments between the ages of 8 and 17 months. I also took 2 unpaid days and I, out of necessity, called in sick twice. Neither DP or myself could take additional time off at Christmas as all our leave was gone. My DP also has to use annual leave despite the fact he WFH two days a week, one of the stipulations when he signed up was that he could not do childcare. Actually, one time his boss called him while he was WFH and he heard our DD in the background and pulled him up on it! I was actually home minding her that day but just goes to show that some employers really do not put up with it at all.

I would ask work what their preference is tbh. And as a pp said, point out you are already taking turns.

WFH - if bosses have allowed it in the past and allowed it for other employees then it might feel uncomfortable to ask - but i can only think that it might be incompatible if you have a baby/toddler that needs your full attention rather than a slightly older child that can be tucked up in bed or on the sofa with a book/tv/snacks with you checking on them.

My boss is okay wfh as long as your not also trying to look after a baby/toddler at the same time which seems reasonable.

If you are flexible and do unpaid weekends and evenings then they can be bloody flexible and let you work from home every now and again. Should be a 2 way street. X

I do have a flexible role and a work from home contract BUT with a sick child, it’s really hard to wfh properly.

I take 2 weeks of unpaid parental every year, one week in May, and another later in the year. This means I have 10 days of floating leave remaining for odd days off, sick children and to take a duvet day when I’m super exhausted and want a day alone at home when no one is here.

I think the problem of working from home when small children are sick is that not much work gets done. Anyone who has ever been at home with a sick toddler knows that they need time and comforting. Then factor in them being sick and the clearing up, changing clothes bedding ext. Fetching drinks, trying to coax them to sleep, trying to amuse them when they are awake. It isn't really working from home is it? It's not like a normal wfh day. In reality it's basically a day off to look after a sick child. Necessary but really more a case for a day's unpaid leave. It's a pain, but will happen more than once during the nursery years and easier to ask again if you haven't expected to be paid.

All working parents have this struggle - DHs parents are dead and mine and elderly and frail so we have no family help. One of our children has had 4 operations in the last 8 years - I take time off work to look after them. The last operation she was at home for 2 weeks to recover. I don't relish it but I accept it as being my child's parent.
If your company seem unflexible / demanding look for a new job?

Whilst you want to take your annual leave for fun it's just not possible unless you can afford to take it unpaid. DH had to take unpaid leave for five weeks last year because I was very poorly in hospital. He's had to save his leave this year because we don't know how long he will have to take off when DD has open heart surgery shortly.

Unable to work from home so the two options I have are unpaid leave or to take annual leave. I actually saved 2 days annual leave one year as dc 2 hadn't yet had chicken pox. They were used for this reason before the end of the year!

Looking after your own child is not a waste of annual leave, it's what parents have to do sometimes.

My only option is a annual leave and it has to be me as dh is a teacher so holidays.

I asked my employer about unpaid leave which I'd prefer but they said no. I thought parental had to be booked in advance?

I can work from home, my dc are older but still when they are properly ill they mainly sleep and you csn get loads done.