To not want to waste annual leave on unwell child?

[coffeeforone]

DH & I work full time and DC (age 1 and 3) go to nursery. If they are ill we alternate staying at home with them. I can do my job from home but my employer doesn't really encourage it, if DC is unwell and its my turn then I usually say I'll work remotely, doing as much as I can and make up the work in the evening once DH gets home. I don't think they are keen on this as I've done it 3 times since October and I don't get the impression they like it. They say 'ok, as a one off' but try to make alternative arrangements for next time. My alternatives would be:

1. emergency unpaid leave (legal right I think). Can't really afford lots of these days, and I don't think they'd like this either.
2. call in sick myself (I would get paid but it's a bit fraudulent). I'm never Ill myself if that makes a difference.
3. last minute holiday (which could potentially mean needing to cancel booked holiday or asking for unpaid leave

There are no alternatives are there. What would your employer ask you to do?

You had these children, but don't want to "waste" time when they are ill......

Yes, I don't want to waste annual leave. I work hard and really look forward to enjoying our summer holidays as a family, taking time off at Christmas, taking DC to visit family and friends who live far away. I don't want to reduce those precious 25 days. Sorry if that makes me a terrible parent.

When I was in your position I would mainly use annual leave but did sometimes call in sick.

3 times since October if you're alternating is 6 absences - that's a lot really and it's not likely to be so bad once the dc get a bit bigger.

I keep some annual leave for exactly this. Surely there's no way you get any work done with an ill 1 or 3 year old? Different with an older child but when they're that young you just have to suck it up

We have 5 days for emergency childcare, these are paid

Not sure what answers you are looking for OP.

Life is not perfect.
One of my kids never had an attendance over 70% during primary years.
Some parents have it much worse than I did- kids with life limiting illnesses and conditions.

You cant have it all.

You are lucky to be able to afford holidays.
I am not sure what answer you are looking for.
Children have an impact on our lives- it is just the way things are.

It's shocking that employers still have this attitude in 2020 to caring for the next generation. My employer is incredibly flexible as there is trust that employees will get the work done. My husband's is too. We both work full-time and are hundreds of miles from family. So I would work from home whenever necessary. In saying that my children have weirdly never been off sick (5 and 1), even the chicken pox was during a holiday! I'd find a better employer if I were you.

Annual leave isn't intended solely for high days and holidays. Appointments, dealing with a leaking pipe, funerals, ill children, dog died etc. It's not a waste of a paid day off work if your children need you.

You need to take annual leave. It's sucks but is the reality when you have small children.

I reserve 10 days of annual leave for sick children, husband does the same. I often work from home if my 7 year old is sick though as he doesn’t need supervision anymore

Not sure what answers you are looking for OP.

I basically want to know is it the norm to have to take annual leave? Some posters have mentioned paid dependants leave so obviously some employers are more accommodating than mine, but maybe that's just a rare few lucky ones.

Do you not get a certain amount of “force majaure” days as such? We get 5 per year and they are also allowed in the case of a sick child.

You either take unpaid parental leave or annual leave.

You can’t work effectively from home with an ill small child.

As much as it’s tough when kids are ill you’re paid by your employer to do a job so I’m not surprised they don’t seem keen on your work from home with a child in tow

My employer let's me work from home. If they weren't happy about it I'd invoke my right to unpaid leave rather than paid annual leave. I dont think that's right.

Being employed and having children are incompatible. They just are. Even with the most forward thinking employers. But this is a phase in your life and you can choose how to handle it:

• take unpaid leave
• resign and go self employed or find a more family friendly employer
• rearrange both your careers so one parent can be at home consistently.

That’s it. Really.

I say that having two children with additional needs and disabilities, which involve a huge number of appointments, plenty of illness (seizures), very little sleep, school refusal and having to home school for a period of time.

I used to have a very senior job in the nhs. Now I am freelance. And even that isn’t perfect. It’s a juggle. And when I don’t work, I can’t invoice and so there’s no income.

The options we have are
Unpaid emergency leave. You are expected to sort something else out if it's more than a day or so. More than about 5 days in a year and they would start managing via the attendance policy
Annual leave. Only if holidays were available.
That's it, so annual leave it is.
Unpaid parental leave is different and is booked and agreed in advance, not for emergencies.
It's hard and very stressful.

We're pretty easy going on this and agree almost every request around family needs but three times since October we'd be asking you to take it unpaid. Six times in total since October, if DH is doing his share?

Most of our roles couldn't be done from home but where it can and there's evidence that the previous three times the staff member had put in a full shift, I'd probably agree to that.

I get 37.5 hours of domestic leave for emergencies every year. Once that was used up I'd probably use TOIL that I've built up if I was allowed and had enough left.

Holiday or unpaid here.

DH and I used annual leave when my two were younger. You don’t need it for school holidays anyway. And nursery you already have paid for full time. Besides you can’t work when your sick child is so young. Both DH and I can work from home flexibly, but using wfh when you can’t work is taking the piss.

They are now both school age and we use wfh to cover illness. They are both very good at keeping themselves quiet with the TV or just lying in bed. It’s totally different.

@coffeeforone yes, taking annual leave is the norm with small children. It gets better once they are older, but for the next 5 years you’ll have to reduce your holidays and visits. Its a direct consequence of having children

There are no alternatives are there. What would your employer ask you to do?

My employer is ridiculously flexible, and I work part time so for the most part I’d make up the time. I’ve got 5 days paid leave for dependents but I don’t use it because I can make up the time - my DD is having surgery later in the year so I may use it then if I can’t flex my hours enough. If I’m really struggling I’ll use an annual leave day to give myself some space.

I’d never ask to work from home when I’m caring for a sick child because I know I wouldn’t be working, I’d rather be honest and make up the time. I also run my own business, if kids are sick on those work dats, I clear my diary and loose a days earnings - which isn’t an easy hit to take but such is life, kids get sick and need to be cared for.

This is why my partner does overtime and I don't work. It's such a nightmare isn't it. I get why you'd rather use holiday for family time. It's not easy for both parents to work. Unfortunately someone needs to be around for poorly kids. Trouble is the childcare settings are the reason they get poorly. Hopefully come spring they will be feeling alot healthier x

There is a statutory entitlement to emergency leave for any dependent (so it could be an elderly parent who depends on you for care) but it's only to deal with the immediate emergency, which would usually be to arrange alternative care.

Have you had a look on any of the babysitters websites? I have friends who've used that for adhoc needs.