To refuse this smear test?

[URPS]

Currently in the hospital waiting room. Male doctor comes out to collect the patient before me.

I find this difficult enough. I really don't want a male doctor to do this.

Could / should I refuse ?

A male Dr? Not a practice nurse? Yes refuse. Make another appointment and ask for a female nurse or Dr.

YABU but you could ask for a nurse to also be present. One usually is

You can ask for a chaperone or decide to book again if you’re not comfortable. You’re in control.

It's up to you, your well within your rights to refuse. Another option is to ask for a chaperone which you are also entitled to which hopefully would be a female nurse.

I can completely appreciate you want a female and why some women do, but If it was that important why didn’t you check when you were given the appointment rather than waste an appointment?

You can ask for a female chaperone, in fact don’t they have to automatically do that if it’s a male doctor?

It’s a difficult one, it really depends on how uncomfortable you are.

Ask at reception.

I personally would just want to get the smear over with, but I can completely understand why you wouldn’t want to go through with it in this circumstance.

Good luck.

I have to have mine done in a hospital. It is normally done by a female doctor (I've had 3 in the last year). I've taken diazepam because I hate them so much and seeing the male doctor is tipping me over the edge !

You can ask for a chaperone, or to rebook. Chat to the receptionist whilst you wait and see when the next female apt is.

I would say just go for it if it’s a while away, (ours can be 3/4 months wait I know it’s hard, but not as hard as the alternative

If you’re having so many is that because there’s an issue? Only you can weigh up the psychological damage vs risk.
Whatever you do - be kind to yourself

@Nicknacky because it's always been a female before.

You'll have a female chaperone nurse there - speak to reception tho and see if a female DR or nurse practictioner can do it for you tho

It's your body. If you don't want a man to touch you then you are absolutely in your right to refuse. The fact that he is a doctor is irrelevant. That could mean rebooking though.

If you've had 3 this year so far then there is clearly a medical reason for that, if you're not comfortable with a male doctor then you need to say and re schedule, but will the delay cause any problems?

Op they'll be a chaperone. Just get it over and done with. Why waste your time or the Drs time? Clearly there is a medical need.

Of course you can refuse. Your body and you say who is allowed to touch it. Any doctor or HCP has to have your permission to do anything.

If it’s going to be uncomfortable or distressing then see if you can reschedule and request a female nurse/doctor. Not wanting to have a man perform something so intimate is completely reasonable and not uncommon.

You are in control and I get why you would want to rebook. But please ask if a woman can do it first.
I recently had my first smear after having a baby. During the test the Dr. saw 'something' that made her refer me straight away. As it happens I'm OK, it's not cancer. But all I could think about while I waited for the diagnosis was the earlier smear test that I'd cancelled, and whether that rebook time would make the difference to me being there for my child growing up or not.
I'll never put off or cancel again for any reason!

Op they'll be a chaperone. Just get it over and done with. Why waste your time or the Drs time? Clearly there is a medical need.

That is an incredibly unhelpful, insensitive response.
A chaperone doesn't necessarily make anything better, it's still a man touching her and seeing her naked, a chaperone just means theres an extra pair of eyes on her during something she massively struggles with.

Develop some empathy for heavens sake.

Are you sure you’re going to see that same dr? Sometimes the same waiting rooms run more than one clinic at a time.

If he does call you in I wouldn’t feel ashamed to tell him you don’t feel comfortable being assessed by a male gynaecologist, I’m sure he’s been in that position before.

Ask for a chaperone or a nurse to be present. And remember he sees loads of vaginas for work every day.

OP, I hope you managed to find a situation that made you feel more comfortable. I understand completely and the Dr would (and should) as well.

Gosh it wouldn't occur to me to request a female medic at the point of booking because I've never had one done by a male, but mine have always been down by nurses. OP, if you can, bear in mind he's just doing a job and won't think twice, plus as pp have said you'll have a chaperone. But if it's too much YANBU to rebook.

I wouldn’t personally have a smear done by a man, I don’t blame you. It’s your body and your right to say no.

The "just get over it" brigade are why people like me are terrified and overdue their smear. You're not helping anyone, in fact you make it worse. Fuck off.

It's been my third in the last year, not this year. I've had treatment which can cause cancer so I have regular smears and monthly blood and urine tests. My November smear was clear.

Thanks for your advice. I asked the receptionist if the male doctor was the person I'd be seeing. She confirmed it was so I have re booked with a women at the beginning of March (very lucky i know - this is a massive London hospital).

@daisyjgrey thank you !