To refuse this smear test?

[URPS]

Currently in the hospital waiting room. Male doctor comes out to collect the patient before me.

I find this difficult enough. I really don't want a male doctor to do this.

Could / should I refuse ?

YANBU to want a female to do your smear (I personally couldn't care less the sex of the medical professional as long as they are suitably qualified, but I get some women are anxious, embarrassed, shy, abused etc etc).

But. YAB VERY, VERY U to have done what you did today. You should have specifically requested this when they were arranging the upcoming appointment, not just assumed because "they had always been done by females before".
Your appointment slot was completely wasted today and somebody else, who may well could have needed that slot urgently didn't get it.
Never mind the cost to the NHS for you not going in.

URPS I've had smears and sexual health checks with male and female doctors, and found the guys were gentlest by far! Always been a female nurse in the room as well. Can completely understand why some women aren't comfortable, but I'm honestly not bothered. Which is lucky, as I've had some hormone issue which has meant having a load of tests, felt like I've had about a million different people having a look up there! Now I really have zero shyness with medical staff haha.

I avoided a smear for years and I wouldn't ideally have wanted a male doctor to do it. I did have a male doctor insert my first coil in 1989, when we didn't get a choice, though.

My unexplained bleeding needed a biopsy and polyps removing. I had a coil fitted as well, because I had to change my HRT.

This is all done while you are on a 'birthing chair' with anesthesic just your lower end, via suppository and what the consultant applies.

My brilliant consultant was a man. I was also surrounded by female staff, assisting. There was no awkwardness etc.

Just be aware that you won't always get a choice and being able to overcome the issues around a male doctor, may save your life.

Why? It’s literally just a doctor

Fair play for changing it. Maybe a note could be put on your file to ensure future smears are booked with a female. That will save a wasted journey - if it's something they can do.

Are you really that hard of thinking nsav? Can’t you think of any possible reason why some women wouldn’t be comfortable with a male doctor in that situation?

Never mind the cost to the NHS for you not going in

Ie nothing at all.

I'm usually fine with smears but I don't think I'd be comfortable with a male doctor either. If o had the option to change (as you have), I would too.

Op

You should be proud of standing up for yourself. Your body autonomy matters. Your wishes about who touches your body matters.

@BobbyBlueCat

I just received an appointment via my hospital app. I didn't have to chance to discuss anything. I'd never considered it could be a male as it had never happened before.

If it was just a smear, I wouldn't be bothered.

But then i have to have a camera up my bum a couple of times a year and I don't really care anymore.

However when I needed an internal examination in an emergency situation i asked if the female doctor could do it instead of the male. He said is it because I'm a man, I said no, its because the petite, female doctor had tiny hands where as his were like shovels. He replied that he understood my point!

I really wouldn’t feel comfortable with a strange man practically having his face in my vulva. I know it is a doctor but guess what not all doctors are safe. My rights to choose a female nurse/doctor too.

@URPSURPS
Please don't answer if you're not comfortable to do so but I am interested in what treatment you've had that can cause cancer - meaning that you're having smears every 3 months. Is this in the NHS?
From my recollection the NHS cervical screening programme guidelines do not have any indications for having a series of 3 monthly smears, so wondering if this is a new thing?

I wouldn’t be ok at all with a male doctor/nurse giving me a smear

Never mind the cost to the NHS for you not going in

Ie nothing at all.
It’s not without cost, they could have treated another patient.

For what it’s worth I have had every intimate part of male anatomy examined by female doctors and the only thing I cared about was their competence.

FWIW for those saying that the appointment should have gone ahead today. My colleague had a similar situation and is very timid and didn't re-arrange and it has made her 100 times worse about having her smears, not because it hurt or anything but just because it made her so uncomfortable.

Hope all goes well for your next appointment.

Well no it wouldnt bother me but then ive had awful pg/births and have lost count of the amount of people , mainly men who have seen it

Its not about how i feel though, its about you and if you are not comfortable then you are perfectly right to refuse and book in with a women

As for theyve seen hundreds, well yeah we have and dont think anything of it but its about the patient and their comfort , or it should be!

@MrsFrankDrebin

You’re probably right to be honest, but my issue isn’t necessarily the empathy they have, it’s the fact that they’re male. Trauma is weird and the things you associate with it are difficult to explain.
If I think about it, I’d probably take a painful procedure by a female dr over a painless one by a male, which I’m aware sounds absurd but it’s how my brain works at the minute.

@nsav

Read the full thread and stop being obtuse.

SirGawain - so what that you have had every part of you examined by a female GP etc. You are also safe walking down dark streets at night whilst I’m not. Some women do not feel safe in certain situations. For me it’s knowing I couldn’t overpower a man if he jumped out on me at night. For others it is different. But we all have a right to be examined by the second of our choice. My partner will not have his prostate checked by a female consultant. His choice.

Well done OP for standing up for yourself. I always refuse male HCP. I make it quite clear when making appointments. I don't put up with the trite chaperone excuse either. A chaperone is there to protect the doctor. My body. My choice.

*Never mind the cost to the NHS for you not going in

Ie nothing at all.
It’s not without cost, they could have treated another patient*

They could indeed, there’s still no financial implication. The “cost” of unused appointments is a modern myth.

I’m not bothered who plays a part in saving my life and sorting things out.

I get this isn’t the same for you OP and you have the right to choose who does what to you

Please do take the time to highlight your decisions. My only issue with your post is the wasted appointment. Please let them know when the appointment is sent through

I've had a smear test done by an unchaperoned male doctor whilst I went for a well woman thing paid for by work. I didn't bat an eyelid but that doesn't mean that any woman should not be able to say they want a woman doctor. It's important.

@SirGawain not sure being a man who is okay being seen by a female dr is particularly relevant.

@daisyjgrey Same here. Even if I knew the man was 100% safe, respectful, kind, gentle, professional and competent I still wouldn’t and couldn’t feel happy or comfortable. And I can’t help feeling that way. I’ve also been through pregnancies and births where I have lost count of the amount of people (male and female) involved in the process and a complete lack of privacy and dignity during- and tbh I think this has actually made things worse for me and I feel overly cautious of potentially distressing situations now.