To refuse this smear test?

[URPS]

Currently in the hospital waiting room. Male doctor comes out to collect the patient before me.

I find this difficult enough. I really don't want a male doctor to do this.

Could / should I refuse ?

what about a lesbian doctor

I cant say ive ever discussed my drs sexual orientation....
You cant tell a lesbian by looking at someone

I can see a dr is male, i was raped by a male, I therefore do not want a male doing intimate exams.
Simple

Shit may be easier to lie and say its for religious reasons, least there wont be backlash and belittling

My reason for saying no to males has fuck all to do with thinking they fancy me and more to do with being wheeled off to theatre to have a retained placenta manually removed and having five male students brought into the room and told to "have go" before the doctor removed my placenta, while I was laid there unable to move or speak while each of them had a turn at putting their hands inside me while being unable to say no.

That's why I say no. Not because I'm worried they find my naked minge so sexually attractive they can't help themselves.

@OhCisOff Holy shit
Horrific
Im so sorry that happened

Some of the posts on this thread are unbelievable.

If for any reason you feel uncomfortable with the person performing your smear then you have every right to refuse it.

Your body, your choice.

I had the laser treatment done by a male it didn't bother me he was a man i was just relieved i was being treated. Also had female nurse with me. They are professional people just doing their job so for that reason i wouldn't refuse

I always get a nurse. I’m surprised doctors do them. It wouldn’t bother me having a male doctor as I know there’d be a chaperone with my doctor

I'm surprised by the vote if I'm honest. Are half the women on here really okay having a male do their smear?

Another one saying I'd be fine with it too but completely support your and anybody else's right to have a woman perform it

It doesn’t matter how nice they are, how you don’t care etc etc etc. It is our right to say no. It has taken decades to be listened to don’t let’s give up their right now because some of us are ok having a smear test by a man. As the Poster above has shown terrible things still happen today where we are not respected or listened to. So please listen to those women who say no for whatever reason. If you daughter or son said no you would listen to them why does it change as women.

@Tombliwho Perfectly said.
@URPS

I've read all your comments and have taken them on board - so thanks for replying.

It was actually an appointment for a Colposcopy (which I couldn't spell in my panic yesterday). Not that I think it makes any difference to my not wanting a male. My smear was clear in November but as a precaution they tried and failed to do the Colposcopy, due to not really finding my cervix. That smear / failed colposcopy took 25 minutes of trying - so this appointment wasnt going to be a quick job.

Birth was traumatizing with how on display i was and how i was expected to be ok with it. Im still not over it

@squeekums yep exactly the same here :(

I’m training male medical students, it’s so hard when they get knocked back by patients so much

Tough. If male students wanted to be involved in something intimate for me then I’d absolutely say no, without even considering how I might be hurting their feelings, it’s not important.

When you get your appointment through double check it's with a female. Sometimes my hospital appts say 'with dr x' and then tiny writing 'or a member of dr x team'. FWIW I wouldn't have agreed to a male.

Yes, I've checked that the next appointment is with a female and I'll be checking in future.

@BelaLug0si

I've had Lemtrada.

I'm sure most men wouldn't want a female doctor doing a prostrate check either.

Really don't get the issue here. Your body your choice. If it's an emergency I imagine your priorities change, eg if you were lifted out of a crashed car and the surgeon fixing your bones was male. But for a reasonably routine procedure that can be done by anyone, and doesn't need to be done right now, it's nobody else's business.

I have never had any sort of trauma in my life, am generally laid back and not shy about my body, have regular bikini waxes, not bothered about having a male midwife etc but even I would think twice about having a male do my smear test.

Just something about it that makes me hesitate.

And why does someone always pipe up with the ‘lesbian doctor’ argument I would not care about a female drs sexuality.

I would choose the lesbian female dr over an asexual or gay male doctor because my preference is based on their sex, not sexuality.

I understand. I don’t think it was unreasonable of you. You are entitled to turn down a male examining your genitals at any step you feel uncomfortable, be it the second you see him or during the examination.

This happened to me a while back for trans vaginal ultrasound. Years back I probably wouldn't have been bothered but now I'm older, quite ashamed of my post 2 baby body, and another man apart from my husband hasn't seen my vagina for nearly 20 years I just can't bring myself to have a man do these kinds of tests on me.
When I booked I specified female only, she said that's fine, gave me the ladies name.
Got to the appointment and it was a young man. I refused and rebooked the appointment. The lady had gone off sick, had been replaced by a man

Thank goodness my local physio apartment still uses common sense and respect patients’ rights to request same sex therapists. Funnily enough I was actually asked if I was ok being treated by a male physio on a none private part of my body. I was happy to have a man, but I would not have been, if it was more intimate treatment, which is my right. If they respect a woman’s right to choose sex of the medical person treating them, why can’t certain posters on here?

I agree with T0tally. Endof you sound patronising and condescending and resentful of the fact that women patients don't exist to teach males or preserve their feelings. That attitude is far more off-putting and hectoring, IMO.

My husband had a vasectomy. He didn't want non-males present to assist or bloody 'chaperone', basically watch it all. His request was completely respected.

The belittling on this thread of the OP's wishes, feelings and experiences is absolutely disgusting. And the idiocy (lesbian doctor? attraction? poor male medical students? easy procedure?) of some of the responses is unbelievable.

I am really sorry to read about the horrific and unpleasant experiences some PPs have had as patients. At your most vulnerable, you deserved better.

The doctor seeing a hundred gazillion vulvas a day, and being professionals doing their jobs means fuck all to the patient and their comfort, which is what matters.
You were not being unreasonable in the slightest. Anyone saying otherwise is downright sinister, never listen to anyone who will try to guilt you into eroding your boundaries. Shameful posts here. And homophobic ones (as is usual for these threads).

I am at the stage where I would rather never have a smear than have a male Dr do it. I was actually fine with a man doing it decades ago. But now I know I would be tense with a man doing it that I would be very tense and it would hurt.

I had 2 colposcopies some years ago. Both were done by male doctors. I had cervical biopsies taken. It is not the same as a smear. Nurses (female) were present too. Looking after me and assisting the doctor. I didn’t give the fact that he was male much thought though I appreciate some women might. You will know in future to ask in advance for a female doctor, assuming one is available.