Aibu to offer my daughter money incentives for good gcse grades?

[Whatsmyname26]

My daughter is just starting to do some GCSEs with her first exam later this year. She is sitting them early and achieving well (looking at a level 5/6 atm) but I would like to encourage her to reach for the higher grades and remember children being given money incentives for different grades when I did my exams. Has anyone done this? Did it help encourage them to work harder to achieve higher marks? If so how much per top grade? She is only sitting one gcse this year and currently looking to sit another either November this year or next June.

Does a reward help incentivise them or should they just work because they should? I should point out she is autistic too.

ddraigygoch I think you need to manage your own expections here tbh.

When I was giving money for exam results it was based on predicted grades. Achieving the predicted Grade got £5, doing better got £10, and nothing for below the predicted.

We all like a reward for doing well. Teenagers think in terms of hard cash.

I don’t see a problem myself. The local authorities do it/did it with Looked After Children. It was one of my most satisfying moments in teaching, filling out the form for a youngster who had really struggled. The money paid for their driving lessons.

@Zeusthemoose what expectations?
I expect my son to enjoy himself.

I've told him. If he ever stops loving it he can tell him and he'll never go again.

Which I wouldn't hate because what moron decided that a football season ran through the pissing down freezing winter months.

I did mine in 1997 and was promised £10 for every higher grade pass (A*-C in those days). I was very happy to get the money but it genuinely didn't motivate me to work any harder than I was going to anyway.

Every article I've read on the subject lists rewards and incentives as one of the tools to motivate teens
But whatswrong with the reward being pride and knowledge of what one can accomplish with hard work and the incentive being to be able to go forward studying a course of interest and/or attending particular 6th form?

One of the main curse of our society is the living for instant gratification that provides a high for a biggest low, leading to low mood and depression. Financial rewards does just that. The best gift we can give our kids is to encourage them to see the value in what they can control themselves, ie. their self esteem and confidence and apply for longer term benefits.

Why the hell would I take that magic away?

You’re already polluting it by handing over the Wonga.

It’s lovely to have dreams at that age, of course it it. But much nicer and healthier for it to be driven by love of the game. That’ll stay with him, even as his dream of being a professional eventually fades.

What happens when he realises he’s not going to get instant monetary reward for everything he does?

What happens when he figures out the (unpaid) degree of practice that will go into making it as a professional?

At what point are you going to stop ‘paying for goals’ as a matter of interest?

Op, I’ve been in exactly your situation - Y8 ASD DD sifting one GCSE early ‘for fun’.
I wish we hadn’t, for all sorts of reasons, happy to expand on PM.
But in your case, I would get clearer about why you’re doing it, because there’s some mixed messages in your posts.
If it’s for fun/the experience/to follow an interest then the grade shouldn’t matter and I can’t really understand why you’d be incentivising your DD to achieve a higher grade than she’s ‘naturally’ on target for. Especially as reward charts etc haven’t worked in the past.
If it’s to get a good grade, maybe waiting for maturity and her understanding of the long term effort/deferred reward required to study for an exam to develop would serve her better in the longer term than earning a monetary reward in the short term.

@MasakaBuzz, I do think it is very different with looked after children because many will have had no notion of rewards at all in their lives, only punishment, so introducing an element of reward is a good start to even understanding what it and starting with immediate gratification makes sense. It's very different to average kids who will already have had plenty of experiences with the notion of reward and incentive.

Every article I've read on the subject lists rewards and incentives as one of the tools to motivate teens

Every article I’ve ever read talks about

Fostering internal motivation as the key to long term success.

Rewarding effort not results as the key to long term achievement, high self esteem and resilience.

I used to get a small prize (like, choosing a new top that I would have eventually needed anyway) for a good end-of-year school report and a financial reward based on grades for my GCSEs and A-Levels (£x for an A, £y for a B, etc). I think it was a good system for two reasons:

1. Kids who get high grades miss out on a lot of other 'rewards' at school because it is just assumed that they will do well and don't need praise/motivation as it won't improve their grade.
2. The financial reward gave me a good start towards the costs of travel with friends in the holiday immediately after the exams, which would have taken almost the whole course length to save up for otherwise as I was not allowed to have a job so that I could study for said exams.

What next? Pay her for a levels...uni...getting a job?!

You shouldn't pay a child for doing school work.

Maybe she would be more motivated to do well in a school.

YANBU. My parents did this for GCSEs. I was a bright teenager and knew I could easily get the grades I needed for sixth form. The incentive worked perfectly. I achieved my fully potential and not just the minimum required for sixth form. By A Levels, I was mature enough to figure things out by myself.

I'm stunned that you want your year 8 child to take a gcse now. She has over 3 more years of study before she needs to take it, she certainly dosent need that pressure now, she's only 12 or just 13. Wait 3 years, take the pressure off and by that time she may be working at a 7 instead of a 5.

My OH was looking for an apprentice a couple of years ago. The initial pay was low, but the experience very valuable. Not a filling paperwork role but a proper learning on the job that would lead to a good role and income a few years later.

He only got 5 applications. Interviewed them all, and all but 1 asked immediately about money and said in the end that they were not interested when told what they'd earn. The one left took the internship. He was 19. He is now 24 and on £36k.

This is what giving kids money to do what they should accomplish without does. They lose the concept of learning for what it is and expect a good reward from the start for it.

@LaurieMarlow well...he's 5 in full time education.

He knows he doesn't get money for everything. 🤣

By that point it gets really serious he'll be older and wiser.

He wants to make it because he wants to play. That's it.

Well... if he makes it to Liverpool I will be mentioning the hours I spent in the pouring rain so he could play.

He wants to make it because he wants to play. That's it.

Then I can’t understand what the money’s for?

To add to my last point about year 8 being far to young to take a gcse exam schools don't start tne gcse courses and curriculum untill year 9 or 10 depending on the school they attend then they have 2 or 3 years on the courses before the exams. So average age for staring tne course work is 14. Your child is mucharged to young for this pressure and if she attended a school wouldn't even be taking her options yet. Back off for a few years.

We’ve done it twice and about to do it a third time for our youngest. It works a treat for ours. Ours are academic but the boys were essentially a bit lazy. It teaches them that hard work gets rewarded- at a later date, as paid work as a salary. Ours is done on a sliding scale according to grade and what they are predicted. Each to their own. For us, it’s been brilliant and for dd this has really motivated her.

@LaurieMarlow because it gets more goals. He's having fun but focusing more.

Yes absolutely! It will definitely work as an incentive. My in-laws did this for all of their grandchildren and it turned into a FRIENDLY competition!

i offer money for general good yearly reports .

teenage DC get

A £10
B £5
C £2
D £0

for GCSEs I gave eldest DC

A* £100
A £75
B £50
C £25

the way i see it, i get monetary bonus's in work when i perform well so why shouldnt they?

Common practice when I did my GCSEs. Think the going rate was £25 for a C, £50 for a B and £100 for an A from my parents if I remember rightly. Came out with a good mixture of 9 A-C's. Don't see a problem with it at all if it's affordable. We don't work in adulthood for free, the wage is the incentive surely.

I'm dismayed by how many posters haven't picked up that this is a 12 or just turned 13 year old being discussed.

the way i see it, i get monetary bonus's in work when i perform well so why shouldnt they?
That's what I don't get. At work, you get an income for a certain standard that is considered good standard, and sometimes a bonus to go way and beyond.

So I can understand a reward for a child whose standard when giving a good level of investment as we adult pit into work, would mean them getting a B but by some much additional investment in studying would get an A against all odds.

I don't get at all rewarding a kid expected to get an A if putting the work expected by teacher but who is only likely to get a Bit C because they are too lazy to do the work they are expected to do to achieve their potential.

because it gets more goals

Why’s that important? He’s five, its a team sport. Surely he should be working on getting better at the game holistically, setting up goals, passing, defending. If you teach him it’s all about the ‘goals’ surely he’ll develop into an awful little glory hunter?

And trust me, the number of goals scored aged five has no bearing on anything, ever.

He's having fun but focusing more.

And again, why do you need him to focus more? He’s having fun, enjoying the game, that’s what’s important. Sounds like you want the glory, not him.

I don’t get you at all. You keep going on about the fact that he’s a child, he loves it, it’s fun.

Yet you insist on bringing money into this lovely innocent hobby, that you insist he’d do anyway, because it makes him ‘focused’.

Your priorities sound waaay off to me.

But your child and all that.