Aibu to offer my daughter money incentives for good gcse grades?

[Whatsmyname26]

My daughter is just starting to do some GCSEs with her first exam later this year. She is sitting them early and achieving well (looking at a level 5/6 atm) but I would like to encourage her to reach for the higher grades and remember children being given money incentives for different grades when I did my exams. Has anyone done this? Did it help encourage them to work harder to achieve higher marks? If so how much per top grade? She is only sitting one gcse this year and currently looking to sit another either November this year or next June.

Does a reward help incentivise them or should they just work because they should? I should point out she is autistic too.

@LaurieMarlow the reward is he scores goals he wins the game and gets money so he can buy what he wants. That's a great day for him.

So what's your argument for pocket money?
Get something for doing nothing or worse yet contributing to maintaining the house you live in and cleaning up the mess you made?

I think my system is great because he has to get up, go and work and really try for something.

My parents offered to pay £1 for every exam passed & £5 for maths

I didn't pass for the money !

An exam in Latin, while very interesting has never really helped my career

Pocket money is not a reward, it's like an income for doing a certain job that has to be done properly in the first place. They don't get pocket money for doing the dishes badly, leaving mess in the sink, but then given extra £5 of they also clean the sink and wipe around.

It's no surprise to see the level of Uni kids who can't be bothered to do any studying when they've learned that the only reason to do their best is to get a financial incentive ahead of doing so.

Whats wrong with just teaching that doing your best is what all should aspire to do?

I think my system is great because he has to get up, go and work and really try for something.

And I think your system is terrible because there are many times in life when he’ll have to put the effort in without getting immediate financial reward. And there are many times in life where he’ll put the effort in without getting the results (goals).

You aren’t preparing him for that. You aren’t fostering that resilience.

As for the kit, I’ve no issue with the kit as an incentive, but it should be effort based, not results based.

@Dontdisturbmenow so they get money for cleaning up a mess they made instead of learning that you clean because you made a mess.

Things that taught me loads, when I was a teenager

Part time job at 16

Volunteering

House & garden chores

Well putDontdisturbmenow, couldn't agree with you more.
I also agree with you, LaurieMarlow. I would also be appauld if my child said similar to. It just promotes such a grabby entitled view on life where your not prepared to do anything unless you get something for it. I find it shallow and crass.

I would much prefer to see someone achieve well due to them wanting to work hard and feeling proud of themselves instead of look at how much I got for scoring or passing or doing extra work.
I don't really come across as sincere or genuine to me.

Yes. He's already had that. He has lost on trials and I had to tell him the other kids were better and he needs to keep training and hopefully get better.
He's missed goals and he's laughed about it.

He does his homework every night because he wants to go up a level on reading. He gets nothing for doing that but his own satisfaction.

He has plenty of resilience because he's been knocked back. Because it's not just a game for fun. But because there are winners and there are losers and he's been the loser plenty of times.

Well I can't think of much I do in life that doesn't benefit me personally.

If I do something it's because I either get enjoyment out of it or something else.

My ds took his last summer. I knew he would do well but was surprised at how well he actually did. He wanted to go to a certain sixth form college for his A levels where they go on some amazing trips.

He came back on day one with a trip letter to NY and I told him he could go as his reward. He goes in 2 days.
Some of his friends received money.

I too disapproved until I had a real life 16 year old.
He generally has a good work ethic and is probably going to do well in his GCSEs. He's just has his mocks and we found that he was actually revising about 10% of the time he was revising and spending more time on YouTube or dicking about with his guitar. He doesn't get any pocket money and because we live rurally it's really hard for him to get a part time job. I'm in the position where we can afford to give him some money and it was his idea to link it to results. We have a sliding scale of money ..... With a "maths bonus" if he gets a 7+ in maths ( as he loathes maths and will only revise it under duress) His revision has stepped up. He is more focused and I'm nagging a lot less as I can see he's actually working a lot harder.

I think at 16 it can be difficult to prioritise revision for an exam 10 weeks away when you can be doing other stuff. We can afford it as a one off.... He says he will use the cash for lessons and insurance ( which we probably be paying for anyway). Judge away :)

Chores in the house dont get financial reward from me, sometimes you have to learn to be a responsible person, tidy and look after yourself because it instills pride and respect for yourself and possessions. No amount of money can teach this.

People get wages only because a business that makes money needs a specific job doing so they hire to fulfil a business need and pay for that work. Yes some may pay bonuses but it's quite a specific environment which does not necessarily fit every aspect of life, most of which entails doing stuff that needs to be done for no financial gain but just because your a responsible person who puts effort it to just well living well and doing their best. You can't expect financial gain for everything you need to do its ridiculous.

@ddraigygoch, no they do household chores, clean after everyone in the house not just their mess.

In any case, I never associated pocket money with chores myself. Pocket money was only to give them choice and freedom to buy stuff on their own rather than going with me or me choosing for them.

They started doing chores from about the age of 5, didn't get pocket money until they were about 12.

Why is she sitting early when she's achieving 5's? That equates to c+ b-, usually people consider sitting early if they are getting As/A*s. If she had the extra time to study she could get a high 6 or even a 7! I think the money idea is good motivation but it's unrealistic to expect money/a reward every time you pass something, the motivation should be the potential careers and higher education routes she could choose if she got all her GCSEs

Not to say 5s aren't good because they definitely are but the pressure is a bit unnecessary imo

I think it's a good idea Op. I went to a talk given by a child psychologist about motivating teens. She thoroughly endorsed incentives including monetary ones to give them a push. I must admit I was surprised. I fully intend to do this when my DC's are older to get them to stretch themselves if required.

He does his homework every night because he wants to go up a level on reading. He gets nothing for doing that but his own satisfaction.

That’s exactly how it should be.

Why’s the football not like this then?

I went to a talk given by a child psychologist about motivating teens. She thoroughly endorsed incentives including monetary ones to give them a push. I must admit I was surprised.

I’d be surprised too. It’s very out of keeping with current thinking.

I think at 16 it can be difficult to prioritise revision for an exam 10 weeks away when you can be doing other stuff
And that is the whole point of learning! My DS also didn't really see the point of going for an 8 rather than 6, but he thankfully already had good levelbof self discipline and pride so in the end he worked hard because he knew it would be good for his self esteem. Still when he succeeded above all expectation, the elation that resulted from sense of accomplishment was worth much more than any £10 per grade.

He got a job in the summer and had the first grasp of the notion that work can be boring, tiring and stressful but that is the price that comes with an income. It was much less a shock to him than those who got good pocket money from mum and dad, who either never bothered to apply to work or gave it up as soon as sumer was over.

LaurieMarlow
Out of interest what is the current thinking?
Every article I've read on the subject lists rewards and incentives as one of the tools to motivate teens.

@LaurieMarlow because he thinks he's a prem player and desperately wants another kit.
But after spending close to £120 each kit this year I'm not jumping at the idea of forking our for another one for no reason.

It is £120 sorry. And that's without postage.

I was offered money for GCSEs so I tried so hard my parents had a horrible shock at how much they ended up having to pay me! I was the same with my a levels and I'm embarrassed to say after that I was really apathetic towards my degree because they'd stopped offering rewards and I made a real mess of it. Looking back, I think I learned the wrong message and never thought of it as making an effort to help myself in the long term. But if a child can't see it that way then maybe they do need a short term incentive - I think it might be better to offer an alternative to cash though, like an experience or holiday, so it's a nice reward but not actually a payment

because he thinks he's a prem player

Lol. You may need to start managing some expectations there.

Why? He's 5!
He's a little boy who thinks that playing a game with his club while parents stand around is the same as playing a Anfield. Why the hell would I take that magic away?

What a horrible thing to do.