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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ghosted... slightly petty revenge

354 replies

Nickynackynoodle · 04/02/2020 14:28

I've been ghosted by someone I had quite a long relationship with, long story short he's met someone super cool and fucked off with her, quite literally overnight. She's very well connected and is helping him with his future business plans which are admittedly very exciting.

I'm pretty pissed off (and heartbroken) as I have been essentially used for the last 12 months in a number of ways so... I have bought the www. domain names and set up social media accounts in the names that he was planning to use for his exciting business.

I probably ABU but I have long evenings alone now when I used to have someone in my life, I'm being highly self disciplined in not contacting him... I'm enjoying seeing him look at the banal stuff I'm posting on insta, trying to work out who's stolen his names.

If he tries to buy the domain names I will absolutely sell them and not at a profit, same as if he asks for the social media names. I just vainly hope that he will realise life won't always go his way because he's so fucking handsome and charming.

I'm getting over it btw, I don't want relationship advice!

OP posts:

Franticbutterfly · 04/02/2020 19:12

Marvellous! Don’t let him have the names for at least the 2 years that you’ll have them for!

SpacePlanner · 04/02/2020 19:14

Haha genius!! Not for profit, but just the irritation factor

MoaningMinniee · 04/02/2020 19:31

The first OP knew of twat badger's defection was a photo of him snogging Other Woman posted on Instagram after several days of silence. I think what OP has set up is a perfect revenge. Keep posting innocuous rather boring things on the domains you have bought, that will keep the domain version of ambulance-chasing lawyers off your case. If he hasn't approached your broker to purchase in the next couple of years, let it slide. If he does... charge as much as possible and share it between your mortgage and a charity that means something to you.

Aunty5ocial · 04/02/2020 19:32

I like your style. Sorry you wasted too long with that prick though.

FloraFox · 04/02/2020 19:33

I’m a lawyer in the relevant area. (Not legal advice.) Enforcement of even clearly established legal rights is not straightforward or cheap. Cyber squatting is not easy to enforce especially with a business not set up yet. You might get a strongly worded letter threatening all sorts if/when he figures out it was you but you can string it along for a bit without spending any money then agree to transfer the names. It is unlikely to be worth it for him to try to pursue you for any payment for costs. The threats in a lawyer’s letter don’t reflect the advice the lawyer might have given their client on the likelihood of success.

I’ve often had to tell people that yes their IP is being infringed but the cost of enforcing their rights would be prohibitive (depends on circumstances). Sucks for lots of small businesses and creatives.

Registered trademarks are somewhat different but you haven’t done that so it’s not relevant.

Sagradafamiliar · 04/02/2020 19:38

Atomic you look like a hyperbolic blitherer trying to look tough on the Internet.

ILoveBlinking · 04/02/2020 19:49

Once more for the cheap seats in the back HE DIDN’T DUMP HER, HE GHOSTED HER. And before that he used her!

GCAcademic · 04/02/2020 19:49

Upset that someone dumped you. Didums.

Get over it! We've all suffered along the way to the path of true love.

Wow, aren't you a delight? It's not the OP who's coming across as deranged here.

Brefugee · 04/02/2020 19:57

I absolutely love petty and vindictive so well done OP.
Sorry you're still feeling down though.

I'm with PP above there - his first action won't be to haul you into court, and since you wrote in the OP that you have no intention of fleecing him, it seems straightforward. Drag it out a bit then let him have them. What a cowardly fucker. (him, not you)

Vanhi · 04/02/2020 19:58

Makes me realise that it's true when I read that the average IQ of people in the UK is 100.

IQ is defined as mental age/ actual age x100. It will always be an average of 100. Being 100 on average is built into the definition of IQ. If it rises above 100, then the mental age is adjusted to reflect this. I'm surprised someone of genius level intelligence such as yourself doesn't know this.

GinnyStrupac · 04/02/2020 20:00

YANBU but is he worth your time and effort, OP? No.

The best revenge is a life well lived

blowmebaloney · 04/02/2020 20:22

Within days of declaring love to the OP he was declaring love on social media to someone else who he had just met?

That is crazy. Unless I read it wrong?

Lailaha · 04/02/2020 20:27

So you were together a year, and you have taken these domains for two years? Ghosting is shitty (though despite what PP have said, you don't necessarily get "closure" by being dumped) but I don't think is going to help you heal, ultimately.

It's one of those lovely revenge fantasies--but most people wouldn't fuel his "batshit ex" fantasies for the rest of his life by actually doing it.

Original poster

Nickynackynoodle · 04/02/2020 20:27

@AtomicRabbit petty criminal. Lol. You don't have a new boyfriend do you? Handsome, vain, good taste in sunglasses?

OP posts:

SchadenfreudePersonified · 04/02/2020 20:31

Makes me realise that it's true when I read that the average IQ of people in the UK is 100.

Surely . . . that's what makes it the average IQ, AtomicRabbit

SchadenfreudePersonified · 04/02/2020 20:31

@AtomicRabbit petty criminal. Lol. You don't have a new boyfriend do you? Handsome, vain, good taste in sunglasses?

And shite taste in new girlfriends?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 04/02/2020 20:37

Drag it out a bit then let him have them

Drag it out a bit and then put them up for auction (can you do that with domain names?) Sell them to the highness offer (or second highest if his is the top one)

I also like petty and vindictive. At least you're going down fighting.

AriadneCrete · 04/02/2020 20:43

I LOVE this. Exactly the kind of petty thing I wholeheartedly applaud. Well done!

Beelzebop · 04/02/2020 20:46

Fantastic op

TheReef · 04/02/2020 20:48

I like your style op

CandyCaneLeBonBon · 04/02/2020 20:48

Good for you op. I took mine to court for the money he stole from my business and now the high court enforcement agents are on his tail and will be turning up at his new squeeze's pad any time now and who no doubt thinks he's the bee's knees. Sometimes you have to DO something. I get it

Saranvenya · 04/02/2020 20:50

If this helps you to heal then good as that is what it’s about.
Cover your tracks and sell for profit, wanting revenge is destructive but also fills so much head space when someone hurts you plus rejection plays havoc with our self esteem, so for me this is sort of constructive.

FlaskMaster · 04/02/2020 20:55

Fucking genius op! Well done. Don't give away the domain names for pennies either, if he wants them he can pay, you don't owe him a favour. You could also start up the business he's been banging on about for a year - serves him right for being a useless blabbermouth and shitting on people instead of getting on with his "great idea" while treating people with kindness and respect.

NotALurker2 · 04/02/2020 20:59

I don't understand why so many people are shouting that he deserves it 'after what he did to OP'. What did he do, exactly? He broke up with someone admittedly petty and vindictive? Is that it? He didn't ghost her -- he told her he was moving on to something new. That's not ghosting. Ghosting is disappearing without an explanation. OP admits the new woman is a good match for him. He was probably advised to 'go no contact' which is good advice when breaking up with someone vindictive....

I can't believe how many posters are openly saying, "I love petty and vindictive." Posters on this thread are like flies on shit.

I hope none of you ever breaks up with someone you have children with -- that would be a lesson in self control and restraint you are not prepared for....

NigellaAwesome · 04/02/2020 21:04

Makes me realise that it's true when I read that the average IQ of people in the UK is 100.

The average IQ for anyone, anywhere is 100.

OP good for you. Put something cryptic and sublime on your websites.

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