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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ghosted... slightly petty revenge

354 replies

Nickynackynoodle · 04/02/2020 14:28

I've been ghosted by someone I had quite a long relationship with, long story short he's met someone super cool and fucked off with her, quite literally overnight. She's very well connected and is helping him with his future business plans which are admittedly very exciting.

I'm pretty pissed off (and heartbroken) as I have been essentially used for the last 12 months in a number of ways so... I have bought the www. domain names and set up social media accounts in the names that he was planning to use for his exciting business.

I probably ABU but I have long evenings alone now when I used to have someone in my life, I'm being highly self disciplined in not contacting him... I'm enjoying seeing him look at the banal stuff I'm posting on insta, trying to work out who's stolen his names.

If he tries to buy the domain names I will absolutely sell them and not at a profit, same as if he asks for the social media names. I just vainly hope that he will realise life won't always go his way because he's so fucking handsome and charming.

I'm getting over it btw, I don't want relationship advice!

OP posts:
MrsCollinssettled · 04/02/2020 21:07

Some possible beneficiaries from the sale of the domain names:

Women's charities
Relate
Communication Trust Charity
Charity Ghost Walk (annual fund raiser in Cornwall)
...

Original poster
Nickynackynoodle · 04/02/2020 21:08

@NotALurker2 if you think that posting a picture on Instagram Of himself with another woman is an acceptable way to tell someone you're moving on then tbh I feel sorry for anyone you have a relationship with.

OP posts:
ILoveBlinking · 04/02/2020 21:09

If I was in charge of mumsnet I’d make everyone pass a reading and comprehension test before they could join.

YappityYapYap · 04/02/2020 21:12

This is so funny, what a clever idea 😂

blowmebaloney · 04/02/2020 21:15

But OP seriously - you are telling us that the picture was posted within days of telling you he loved you - ie within days he was posting a picture of himself on IG declaring love to a woman he had just met?

That would not be normal behaviour would it?

Or did I read that wrong?

NotALurker2 · 04/02/2020 21:22

@Nickynackynoodle

"@NotALurker2 if you think that posting a picture on Instagram Of himself with another woman is an acceptable way to tell someone you're moving on then tbh I feel sorry for anyone you have a relationship with."

I didn't say it was an acceptable way to tell someone you are moving on -- I said it was not ghosting. Which is disappearing altogether.

NotALurker2 · 04/02/2020 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NotALurker2 · 04/02/2020 21:24

And BTW you are the one who had a lengthy relationship with a man like that - not me....

Original poster
Nickynackynoodle · 04/02/2020 21:26

@blowmebaloney no that's not normal. It's fucking heartbreakingly not normal. But I guess he saw something in her that completely changed the way he looks at life? Idk. Not sure what you're getting at sorry?

@NotALurker2 no I mean he communicated with me in the same way someone who's in the paper communicates with people. As in... he posted a picture online for all of his friends to see. He didn't address it to me. He didn't get in touch & say that's what he was doing. He just put himself on his timeline, ribs deep in another woman's face. So sure, that's not ghosting is it. I mean, that's quite a meaningful breakup conversation. If you're a fucking complete arsehole.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nickynackynoodle · 04/02/2020 21:26

@NotALurker2 the report button is right there sweetheart.

OP posts:
Vanhi · 04/02/2020 21:27

I don't understand why so many people are shouting that he deserves it 'after what he did to OP'. What did he do, exactly? He broke up with someone admittedly petty and vindictive? Is that it? He didn't ghost her -- he told her he was moving on to something new. That's not ghosting. Ghosting is disappearing without an explanation.

According to the OP:
One day... messages. I love you. Hearts and kisses. Then nothing for days (he works overseas). Then a picture on Instagram of him and new bird kissing and declaring love for each other. I contacted & he said he was starting something new. I know when he met her as he told me about the meeting he was having at the place where she works.

Do you seriously think that posting a picture of yourself in a new relationship is a good way to break up with someone? And then not contacting them but waiting until they contact you before saying anything? To me, anyone decent would sit you down and have a conversation with you about it being over. And they'd do this before they got it together with someone new.

He started a new relationship before he'd ended the old one and he ended it in an incredibly cowardly and hurtful way. Buying a couple of domain names to piss him off is pretty minor and frankly, well deserved.

Panpastels · 04/02/2020 21:27

Excellent work OP GrinStar

emmetgirl · 04/02/2020 21:29

I completed love this!

emmetgirl · 04/02/2020 21:29

Completely!!

Neome · 04/02/2020 21:33

Excellent.
If you sell get the best price.
Don't care if you posted x10 on this thread, still genius.

cuddlymunchkin · 04/02/2020 21:35

Look at the poll results - totally agree with your actions. Fantastic idea!

blowmebaloney · 04/02/2020 21:38

What I am getting at is that the sort of person who did that sort of thing would not be the sort of person you'd be heartbroken over?

Whatever the situation is, I think it is better to treat each other with kindness and respect as standard, not just those we think deserve it.

Original poster
Nickynackynoodle · 04/02/2020 21:40

Yeah, rationally I wouldn't be heartbroken over him. I can't help it though.

I gave him nothing but kindness and respect. Didn't get me very far.

OP posts:
Flufferbum · 04/02/2020 21:44

.io too OP! Especially if he’s a technology firm!

MondeoFan · 04/02/2020 21:49

I can only describe it as a brill idea. With some self satisfaction in it for you.

Vanhi · 04/02/2020 21:51

What I am getting at is that the sort of person who did that sort of thing would not be the sort of person you'd be heartbroken over?

It's not quite that simple. I once fell for someone I thought was wonderful. I wouldn't have fallen for him unless I thought that. However, he ended things with me in a very cowardly and nasty way. It changed my view of him and I realised he wasn't even a nice person, let alone someone wonderful. However, I couldn't just switch my feelings off. I couldn't go from 'I love you' to 'oh well you weren't really worth it' all that quickly. It takes time to process those feelings and to mourn the loss of what you thought you had.

The OP hasn't done him any lasting damage. She's caused him some inconvenience. She hasn't scratched every single one of his CDs or cut up all his favourite suits. Well, she hasn't said that's what she's done, anyway.

Original poster
Nickynackynoodle · 04/02/2020 21:56

I have not done any criminal damage, social
Media abuse, stalky messages or other bad things.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 04/02/2020 22:09

YEah, you dont stop loving someone because they turned out to be a cunt. Sometimes the hearts feelings take a while to catch up with what the head knows.

Personally I am massive fan of petty. Ex, violent cheating ex, is no longer allowed in the house so I accepted that I would have to pack up his stuff. And I did. Exactly as he left them. I could tell he was fuming that I hadnt fulfilled my expected wifely duties by sorting it all out for him, but he couldnt do a single thing about it. Yes it was petty but I would do it again. In fact I plan to with his crap in the loft, it will be bagged up still with all the dust and shit on it :o

Greta1985 · 04/02/2020 22:10

Another one cheering you on! I almost sent porn to my ex’s new business contacts from his email when he was stupid enough to leave his email open on my computer before leaving me for another woman days before we were due to move abroad together. I didn’t know about the other woman until he magically had a baby less than nine months after we split up. I sometimes regret not taking revenge. Charge them as much as you can.

mindfulprep · 04/02/2020 22:15

Brilliant revenge op. Now make it into a successful business and show that bastard Grin