To think there is a bit of a gang/bullying problem on here ?

[Usemyname123]

After reading through some threads, most posters are lovely, kind and helpful. However, there is sometimes this thing where when poster criticises the OP and all of a sudden most posters also gang up on him /her.
I've seen so many people told, "You need professional help." as opposed to suggesting that someone may find therapy helpful. Telling a stranger they 'need professional help' is out of order.
"You've posted before !!" Because apparently nothing can ever happen more than once. It's also not a crime to post more than once if people feel they want further help or advice.
Talking about the OP as if he/she isn't there. "She posted that 1 week ago" etc.
"You sound like a needy 14 year old".
I think sometimes it just goes a bit too far.

I even wrote telling people to stop commenting on the thread

Well, that was your first mistake.

I’m pretty sure I am “instantly recognisable” so fucking what?

I am a nice person in a sometimes absolutely impossible situation and I do my best and my only outlet sometimes is here.

Its always been the same, sometimes its just worse than others

Mntrolls was taken over by trolls a long time ago. Im surprised its still going. Drunk chat about hot tubs and potato salad ruined it

Really doesn't seem that bad compared to some sites IMO. YABU.

It does happen.
But other things like 'you've posted before' is code for 'I see you'- some trolls carry on like it's Groundhog Day.

I posted about something fairly recently that I needed help with, and fairly soon someone came along with a remark along the lines of "That's funny, why am I getting a sense of deja-vu here?". The whole tone of the replies I had been getting changed completely after that.

After a few hours away from MN, I came back to the thread to find this remark. So I asked what on earth they were on about, because I didn't have a clue. They admitted that they thought I'd started a very similar thread asking for much the same advice only a few days before, and they posted a link to it.

Total coincidence and nothing to do with me at all, and after I said so, the tone of the replies on the thread changed back to being helpful again.

It really only takes one poster to change the way people view the OP.

The internet is like the real world only exaggerated. You get sugar sweet too good to be true people, absolutely vile people and all kinds in between. Every forum has them all. You should try some yachting forums if you think there are bullies on here OP!
I think that on occasion some people do seem to forget that they are talking to real people online, and say things that they wouldn't in real life. I'm the opposite. In real life I often can't help myself when someone says something that leaves themselves open to a sarcastic retort, even if it is mean. But hey, that is to people I really know. They know I am a bitch and I know they can take it. And I can usually spot if I'm going too far in the real world. Online I usually try to be kinder because I don't know how the reader is reacting. My husband thinks it is hilarious that I try to give good advice to strangers on the internet when I would tell my friends to grow up or fuck off if they came to me with the same problems. I suspect we all have different personas online, some more than others.
Most people here seem to be ok on sensitive threads when posters are genuinely in need, but things do sometimes get out of hand. But that is always going to be the case on public forums. It has been thus since the internet began, and it probably will be until it ends. No amount of complaining will change it. Take what helps you and ignore the rest.

There definitely is a gang bullying problem. I know a poster who was asked a question by a troll on a contentious thread, the troll made sly assumptions about the poster's upbringing and that her husband might run off on her. Despite the poster reporting the post, it staying, and the poster pleading their case with a couple of mods through email the nasty troll post was not removed. Later, the poster was banned permanently because they had 'many post reports' about the poster. It seems that MNHQ suspend/ban based on the number/frequency of reports. Now, all you need is someone who has it in for you to make regular vexatious reports, and that's it. Your banned. Mods say it's because of 'reported posts' in their emails. You'd think at least one of the mods would say; 'hang on, shit, that's open to abuse isn't it'? That any posters can gang up, multi-report, and poster is banned. And many times the reported posts are posts that would be allowed to stand on ANY other forum. Yet posts that target the poster's spouse are allowed to stay. So it is clearly about quantity of reports against you, not the quality of the posts.

A poster was on last night who clearly had mental health issues as she launched into the most bizarre and abusive rant. It was obvious she was struggling with something........ previous posts etc had been normal and kind.

And yet posters kept piling in and prodding her a bit more........I just hope she didn't hurt herself or anybody else as a result.

Troll hunting is used as an excuse for bullying at times

So what if someone has posted before the same question it’s quite obvious at times people are not really wanting advice but confirmation on how they feel why should that be a problem to anyone else it doesn’t impact their lives you don’t have to respond

Yet so many will pile in you asked for our advice you don’t really want it people have taken the time to respond and so it starts and yes I think many of us will recognise posters that do this time and time again I wonder if they message each other privately to give each other the heads up

If you think a poster is a troll report

A poster was on last night who clearly had mental health issues as she launched into the most bizarre and abusive rant. It was obvious she was struggling with something

Was that the thread about the film? If it was it wasn't obvious to me that she was struggling and the replies she got were understandable I thought

I completely agree

Sometimes people post again and again about the same thing because it is a situation they cannot change and they need an outlet.

Sometimes people on here are absolute wankers.

I’ve deffo felt ‘ganged’ up on in the past but since then frequently change my user name
And it really helped.

The op has posted this before. Ignore.

I think what you have on here is a bunch of people, largely women, who are used to being the loudest and most dominating voice in their relationships and then they bring that dynamic on here expecting others to fall into line.

Many members seem to have a massive inferiority complex and they feel threatened by facts that challenge their limited experiences. They misappropriate real forms of oppression like mansplaining to describe those times that they've felt stupid or ignorant when someone has presented facts into the argument.

You also see the tremendous amount of baggage and heartache the members carry. This is why you see members constantly trying to prove that someone's husband is a complete bastard and their relationship is a fraud just because he leaves his plate on the side and doesn't wash it or something equally annoying but overall benign.

At home, you'll probably find that they are in vicious cycle with their partners where they attempt to dominate them and enforce their values, their partner rebels and does not appease their demands and it becomes more like a parent-teen relationship than an adult romantic relationship. The frustration of this endless cycle of trying to gain control and then realising that you cannot control another adult leaves them in a rage that they can only release to other perhaps more vulnerable people they see on here.

Well if you look online at reports from previous employees of the site, you'll see that they incite and encourage controversial topics and debates for traffic regardless of the potential harm caused to members or people in general.

They've done a fantastic job of making a certain group of people believe they take their concerns seriously and care about the same things they do when really they couldn't give a shit who gets hurt but enjoy the revenue from the traffic. If it became more lucrative to change that stance, they would at the detriment of whoever ends up suffering.

In my experience MNHQ tell you to name change and let the thread disappear rather than deal with absolute arseholes on here who drag up old threads and hold a kangaroo court.

coconut if you'd checked her previous posts which were all very normal you'd have seen it was beyond the realms of normal. As someone who has a lot of experience of people who have mental health difficulties it was obvious that being ripped off for £4 or whatever it was had tipped her over the edge. And it was horrible to see.

If someone came at people in a pub ranting like that people would quite rightly back off.........so why the continuous poking just because it's online ? There's a lot to be said for just disengaging and reporting the thread. As I said I just hope she didn't end up hurting herself. It anybody else for that matter.

foaming I posted at the start of the thread, saw the foul rants then it was gone the next time I looked. I thought she was angry about all the consequences of being scammed, not the £4 itself which I could understand, I don't look up posting histories so don't know any of the background. I would like to know if she managed to get her bank account secured though.

The op has posted this before. Ignore

This post appears every week, how do you know it's the same OP?

Many members seem to have a massive inferiority complex and they feel threatened by facts that challenge their limited experiences.

that is the understatement of the century!

I usually don't post on these threads, but I'll just go ahead and give my take on it:
It wasn't always this way. MN used to be fun.
It wasn't until the DM or Daily Fail, as some call it, began to publish MN threads.
THEN the nasty DM posters flocked over here to MN to post on these threads.

Yes, they do come here just to cause misery and to be obtuse.
They are the same types who post nasty things on "In Memory" pages, while families are grieving.
Many, if not most, are male.
(Of course I can't prove that, but if I could, I'd bet one million pounds on it.)

The best thing would be to just not acknowledge the goady fuckers.
So there.

Inferiority complex

Or just a different opinion to the majority or those that pile in

It’s just pack mentality. If someone sees the OP is getting laid into then they think they should do the same. Also the poll system MN brought in a few months ago doesn’t really help. I think you’re more inclined to tear into someone if you see the poll is 70%+ YABU.