Petrified about sleep when baby comes

[mytypeonpaper]

So we're planning to start trying for a baby soon and I'm just petrified about the lack of sleep! If I don't get 8 hours I'm a mess I usually average about 9 hours a night. Our friends have just had to a baby and he's 4 months old now and just dosent sleep! How do you function!? Please tell me it's not going to be as bad as I think 🙈 I know all babies are different but how much sleep did you average when they're small?

This is, genuinely, one of the (many) reasons I don't want children. I function really poorly on less than 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and it makes me a horrible, snappy, short tempered person with no focus!

It is bloody hard going but it doesn't last forever.
It's a small price to pay of you look at the big picture.
You just get through it.

I remember one fun night I didn’t get DS to sleep until 4am. In the first year my eyes were constantly bloodshot and the skin around them dry and flaking off.

Very logical concern.

My DC were dreadful sleepers, between that and commuting lost the best part of a decade in a stupor! Functioned OK-ish but can remember little!

Much depends on your partner’s willingness to share the pain.

I'm not going to lie - it's tough
but you sort of grow with it.
if you have a good partner you can share the burden and generally you will find ways that work for you.
if you are lucky the worst bit is over after 3 months, if unlucky dc take longer.

Oooh OP, good luck! I’m the same and I really struggled, sorry. For me, the early mornings are a killer and not having a lie in on a weekend. Sorry, you might be loads better than me but I find it hard even now and my eldest turns 12 next month!

If you think it improves after only 4 months it’ll probably be way worse than you think!

4 months was around the time with DC1 I realised it’d be a long haul.

I'm 37 and 15 weeks pregnant. I had my first 20 years ago and the sleep thing wasn't so bad.
Although I'm a lot older now and like my sleep so I'm expecting it to be harder this time around. BUT it doesn't last forever and before you know it they're teens and you literally can't get them out of bed.

Nap when baby naps, that's my plan

You get used to it. It becomes your norm. You become a parent zombie.

:)

No issues her with dc1. He slept for 12 hours a night with one wake up when I went to bed. I think I had about 6 weeks of broken sleep.

Then I had dc2. Oh. My. God. Child never slept. But I got through it. He's 7 now and it's all a distant memory!

I function poorly on less than 8 hours and it was really tough. I really wanted children though so I just had to deal with it like the majority of parents. A few are lucky and have good sleepers from the beginning, and some parents are really strict in sleep training from a young age. The rest of us spend months or years like zombies. I knew I couldn’t cope without sleep but guess what, I could and did.

This is, genuinely, one of the (many) reasons I don't want children.

Same here. I feel like death warmed up with fewer than 8 hours.

it is fucking hard. No lies. You have to do it so you cooe. Dts very nearly broke me.

It totally depends on the baby - we had a few broken nights at the start but now that DS is 5 months, I get far more sleep than when I was working (and far more sleep than DH who gets up at 6am for work). I do know how smug that sounds and no doubt DS will wake up at 4am tonight just to serve me right!

I was like you before having ds1. I didn’t think I could ever survive on less than 8 hours but it’s amazing how quickly your body gets used to it. Second time round, the lack of sleep is even easier to manage.

Have fun baby making

It the grand scheme of having kids, it's pretty minor. Start a routine from the off and your baby will eventually get it. It may take weeks or months but it doesn't last forever. And you will get on with life with less sleep, because you have to.

It's a shock - the lack of sleep. I was really tearful and dreading nights for the first few weeks but I'm very lucky that DD does two five ish hour stints at night so I get a good six ish hours split in two (I take advantage of doing my own bed time stuff once she falls asleep, she also falls asleep on me so she doesn't sleep in her basket for a full five hours) but I've just somehow acclimatized. I guess you will too. And eventually, you'll get more sleep and things will even out (I hear!)
Good luck OP!

It is hard. But you will get through it a day at a time and things I couldn’t do (leave baby to cry it out) are always options if you are really struggling down the line. Fingers crossed you get a good sleeper (I didn’t....)

Also, your partner can take shifts and you get some sleep.

My middle child woke every 2 hours until she was 14 months....

snap donpablo
were you smug with your first as well
my dc2 first slept through the night at 3 years old and still as teenager is a nightmare wrt sleep tbh

Its not that bad. Mine is 4.5 months and we get 8hrs but not uninterrupted! You learn to cope on less.
On mat leave you can sleep in the day or sleep in. I don’t get up early most days.

You'd be amazed how you adapt - yes it's very hard, but you continue to function.
Then you wake up one morning (after months in some cases, years in others) and no one has been up during the night, and you feel like a million dollars

I’ll be honest... it was utterly dreadful. I go to bed by 10pm, drop off immediately and can’t get up before 7am on a normal night. Mine had reflux and she didn’t sleep anywhere near a full night until she was 2. I felt horrible the whole time. She is 9 now and I love her and it was well worth it. The lack of sleep was the key reason she is an only.

It is bad, it’s fucking awful sometimes. Some babies sleep well, some just don’t.
But you get through it. Let your standards slip, nap when you can. Go to bed early, get other to take the baby out for a walk so you can rest.
My daughter fed every 4 hours until she was about 3 months, then did 8 hours straight.
My son, was up at least 2x a night until he was almost 2.
My house was never tidy (but was passibly clean!) and my partner took over when he got home from work.
Because my children were only a year apart, for about 2 years, I was probably on 5 hours broken sleep. Then another 3 years of random wake ups and children climbing in our bed (then I could never sleep properly with them in!) And I cant forget the years of 4:30 wake ups when they both thought that was an acceptable time to get up for the day!
But I’m also my own worst enemy and will stay up until 11pm to try and reclaim some time to myself!
But, they are almost 8 and 9 now and both sleep from 8:30pm until 6:30 (never lost the early wake ups) and we all survived!

I felt really spaced out, for the five years it took for ds to learn to sleep through the night.

You get used to it, because you have to, but it's amazing when you come out of the fog.

I actually think you are really sensible to already be thinking about this.
I didn't give it a send thought before my first child was born, and it hit me like a ton of bricks- I absolutely hated the sleep deprivation, and felt horrendous for months.

With my second I was mentally prepared for the fact that the broken sleep was coming, and I really feel that helped me cope.

Still shit though. Some people seem to breeze through. I was not one of them.

I do think adjusting your expectations of the daytime is key too though. If you have a poor sleeper, you need to try and take things easy in the day.