Petrified about sleep when baby comes

[mytypeonpaper]

So we're planning to start trying for a baby soon and I'm just petrified about the lack of sleep! If I don't get 8 hours I'm a mess I usually average about 9 hours a night. Our friends have just had to a baby and he's 4 months old now and just dosent sleep! How do you function!? Please tell me it's not going to be as bad as I think 🙈 I know all babies are different but how much sleep did you average when they're small?

Mine slept like a dream until 4 months then pretty much didn’t sleep for 2 months. I was on my knees. She’s now starting to sleep again. First baby slept fine. Be prepared for no sleep and then you’ll be ok if you get some sleep.

You can always get a night nanny 🤷‍♀️

Yeah it's hard, harder than you think really but you do adapt fairly quickly. When they start doing regular 7-7s after a couple of years you feel like you could conquer the world

It was terrible and I developed insomnia that took 9 months to shake off. I also need 9+ hours, 8 being minimum to function. People told me “you get used to it.” I did not! Honestly, I don’t know if I would do it again. I love DD and want her to exist but if I didn’t already love her, not sure it’d be worth it.

Fortunately DD slept through the night really early on and DH and I have been on the same page that focusing on getting DD to sleep well was critical to the whole family’s well being. He is also ok with my wearing ear plugs every night so the baby monitor doesn’t wake me up, because the insomnia (thyroid and anxiety related) was that bad.

I think of sleep is really critical to your well being, it would be a good idea to be open to sleep training - we didn’t ever do a big session but very early on (like 3-4 weeks) we focused on helping DD fall to sleep without being held, going back to sleep when she woke up on her own, keeping her in a dark, quiet room during night time etc) We were mostly able to do that because he took 4 months off so there were always two of us to help.

Yes it’s hard but to some extent pregnancy helps prepare. Also enlist your partners help after all you will have 9 months on him when it comes to looking after the baby.💐😬

My eldest didn’t have a full night’s sleep until she was 12! (Years not months) It was horrendous. She’s 25 now and I’m still not over it,I’m not joking. My sleep has never ever been the same. It was a shock to me how bad it was. Along with the realisation that you live with constant worry once you have a child,it’s the worst thing about parenting

I have 6 wk old twins. What's sleep?

It largely depends on if your partner will do his share in which case you can make up some sleep whilst he gets up early with baby etc but it is bloody hard

The sleep deprivation is awful and something I was completely unprepared for. At one point I was so tired that I woke up one morning and genuinely thought I'd put the baby inside our duvet cover - I was scrambling to open the poppers to get him out when DH woke up and pointed out he was in his Moses basket. It can send you slightly crazy! A friend popped over when DS was around 3 months and my hair was a greasy mess, my eyes were red from the tiredness and crying and I was telling my friend not to have kids because she'd never sleep. Bless her heart, she made me have a shower and nap while she watched DS - those sort of offers you have to say yes to. Despite how hard it was, I wouldn't change it and my little boy was so worth it. He's a great sleeper now thankfully and so lovely. But would I have another baby and go through the sleep deprivation again? Unlikely. You just have to get through it and realise it won't be that way forever.

My Want for a child far outweighed my need for sleep.

You get mornings where you feel as though you barely slept, but you get through it. It's not forever and it's worth it when your baby cuddles into you.

Son is currently 5mo. Sleeps 9pm -4. Has a feed then sleeps through until 8:30/9. If I am tired, I do nap with him in the day.

You might find your baby sleeps well, my DS was a really easy baby, we had a strict GF routine (not popular on Mumsnet), we put him to 'bed' at 7pm and he had one quick feed in the night & went straight back to sleep until 7am. Two long naps in the day as well. We did this from the day we got home from hospital.

I also mix fed, mostly BF but one formula feed a day.

I can't say if it was the routine or just luck, but I never risked finding out by having a second!

My 'baby' is now at uni but I don't sleep so well myself which is why I am posting here at 4.30am

😂😂😂😂 You might get 4 hours of unbroken sleep a night if you’re lucky, or less. Why did you have a baby?

You will surprise yourself with your levels of resilience. And probably forget what you are about to say every 9 out of 10 sentences.

Good luck! 💐

Definitely depends on baby. It's hard and some days I am a complete zombie.
Also you can't rely on sleeping when the baby sleeps. Some babies don't nap well either! (Mine naps for half an hour at a time at the minute - no matter what!) some only sleep while being held too...
You adapt, get help from family if you can and the times they smile and giggle makes everything worth it!

For me the first baby was very easy really, fractious evenings but eventually asleep, dream feed at 11pm then slept through to 6, 7 even 8 from very early on. We did give her a dummy, which was both a saviour and a curse. Always been a good sleeper. DD2 was a nightmare and I sympathise with earlier poster who says terrible until 12 - she's 11 now and anxiety or bad dreams mean she's often in bed with us half way through the night. My honest advice is to invest in the biggest bed you can fit in the room - we stayed at my MiL's for 2 mnths between houses a few yrs back and in a 6ft bed I barely noticed her climbing in, it was the best I'd slept in years.

I was someone who could sleep for 10 hours at night and still have a nap at lunchtime.
Loved my sleep and loved my bed.
One DC wasnt too bad. He didnt sleep at night very well but I would nap in the day with him.
2 DC is the bigger issue because they don't nap together.
I have a 2yo and a 9mo.
And I average around 5 (very broken) hours a night with all the wake ups, waiting for the eldest to get tired and the youngest waking up really early.
I manage.
DH has them while I nap if I need it on weekends.
But in general you just plough through.
Half zombie but still going.

You get used to it. Late pregnancy- you already stop sleeping well.

If you have two children two or three years apart you are really looking at five or six years until you can reliably go to bed and be reasonably sure they won't wake till 6.30ish.

It's tough but it just becomes the norm! It's part of parenthood.

Yawn. Mine are 10 and 8 and I'm still catching up on sleep!

PS a baby is such a dependent little being that it is easier to keep on going. You just have to! Or the baby will ultimately die (sorry but that's the bottom line).

So it's kind of easier to get up with a baby and carry on than, eg. To have to go into work after a dreadful nights sleep. With that no one will suffer particularly if you stayed in bed. But with a baby - no option.

So it does make it simple!

You will adapt because you have to. Everyone does and you'll be no different. Near the end of your pregnancy you'll start sleeping less, it's nature's way of getting you prepared for having less sleep.

You just survive, not meaning to scare you as I have mum friends who's babies have only woken once or twice in the night from around five months of age, but I am having a terrible time sleeping and have only slept for more than four hours straight a total of 7 times in a year. The rest are between 45 mins-2 hours sleep.

I was someone who needed 9 hours a night plus a nap during the day. For the first two weeks my baby was born, I slept a total of 15 hours, the whole two weeks.

I'm now over a year in to motherhood and have been blessed with the best baby in the world but the worlds worst sleeper. On a good night she ll sleep 2-4 hours to begin with then up every 2-3.

On a bad night she ll sleep for two hours then up every 45 mins. One night recently she woke 17 times. However recently she has graciously given me a couple of nights where she's just woken once or twice so I know she can do it.

My advice, google 4th trimester, baby's sleep cycles, get proper swaddling sleeping bags, use a Moses basket so you can transport around the house, but a Rock-It automatic pram rocker so you can put baby in the bassinet of the pram in the lounge for a bit of a break whilst the rocking it rocks the pram for you, but most importantly be prepared to loose your sleep, it's natural.

Baby's want to be held, want to be close and want to feel secure. Remember they have been in you for nine months where it was warm, safe, cosy and had you're heart beat. Don't expect them to come out and just be able to be stuck in a cot and sleep. But then again you may strike it lucky and get a good sleeper ......

I never got used to it. It was awful and I spent the first few years feeling shattered & nauseous. Mine are now 19 and 22 and I still relish the fact that I cAn sleep when I want to.

I don't know if anyone has mentioned it, but breastfeeding helps you fall asleep faster so you get more rest from the interrupted sleep you do get. Research has shown that breastfeeding mums actually get more sleep.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3927438/

babymori.com/blogs/lifestyle/how-breastfeeding-affects-sleep

I say this not to sway you one way or another but to counteract the 'you should formula feed to get more sleep' comments I saw upthread.

You may not be able to sleep when the baby sleeps. My first took all his naps on me, and would wake up and cry if I tried to put him down. You need people around you who will come and hold the baby so you can nap in that case.

Haha. The "sleep when baby sleeps" thing pissed me off to no end, because when my baby finally napped for longer than 15 minutes, it was me time! I'd shower, EAT, drink coffee and attempt to do yoga. I loved the break from the baby. Although it was great that the option to have a nap when my baby napped was there, in case I was particularly shattered.

My baby was famous in our baby groups for being the worst sleeping baby. I knew I had it bad when people I knew had really bad sleepers came up to me and said they feel bad I'm not getting any sleep. 😂 I try not to think about it these days, but yes, it was tough but you really do adapt and suddenly you are able to function with less sleep. And it doesn't last forever! I look at my little boy now and I'm so full of love it's a bit ridiculous, so all the hard work is worth it. 😊

You get used to it. My 5 year old still doesn't sleep

Sleep is precious to me too OP. I have had two babies, one was a reasonable sleeper the second one not. Your body does prepare you, during late pregnancy you are getting up at night for the loo etc. It is totally worth it. Sleepless nights don’t go on forever.

My daughter slept through at 14 months, my son was up every two hours until 3 years. It can’t be explained really. When you have a baby your life isn’t your own any more and the early days are particularly hard, especially when you really need sleep to recover from birth and you just don’t get it. You do get used to it though! It becomes a new normal. There’s no way to sugar coat it.