Petrified about sleep when baby comes

[mytypeonpaper]

So we're planning to start trying for a baby soon and I'm just petrified about the lack of sleep! If I don't get 8 hours I'm a mess I usually average about 9 hours a night. Our friends have just had to a baby and he's 4 months old now and just dosent sleep! How do you function!? Please tell me it's not going to be as bad as I think 🙈 I know all babies are different but how much sleep did you average when they're small?

All,I can add is that the love and joy you experience makes the years of rubbish sleeping so worthwhile.

You realise that you don't die from lack of sleep eventually.

You also see what your partner looks like when they are on the edge, the one who isn't quite on the edge finds extra reserve.

In our house as long as everyone is asleep in a bed of some form I don't care where they are sleeping.

If your DP is a surgeon I'd think it's going to be tricky to really share the nights. Mine weren't too bad but a friend of mine survived by going to bed at about 8pm while her DH took over. He gave the baby a bottle before putting it to bed. Then by the time the baby woke up for a night feed she'd had about 6 hours of sleep
Also make sure you have savings so you can hire a night nanny if you have a terrible sleeper and get really desperate. Even if it's just every now and again!

This thread is full of tales of non sleeping babies. Unlike his younger sister, referee to above, DS slept from 7pm to 11pm, then through to 6am from 9 weeks old, and napped for at least 2 hours a day until he was 3 and a half. Some babies sleep well!

He’s 11 now.... I have trouble getting him out of bed most mornings!

I think it really varies once they get past the newborn stage. I have friends whose kids slept through the night from being 4-5 months old and then there are kids like mine. Ds is about to turn 5 and I haven't had a proper nights sleep I went into labour with him. We managed to have a second and I really hoped we'd get a good sleeper. We didn't.

I can function on less than five hours sleep a night but I have a load of prescribed sleeping pills to help when things get really bad.

I have four DC so it’s obviously never put me off . Every baby is different but you genuinely do survive and the baby stage is incredibly short lived, it flashes by in no time at all. My eldest will be ten next month and it honestly feels like he was born yesterday.

it's a fair concern. I'm the same. to get around this DH sleeps elsewhere and i bed share and breastfeed with the baby (now the second baby) until he gets a bit more reliable about going to bed. it's the path of least resistance, as nature intended i believe, and my DS does snore but it's more adorable than motive for murder like it is with DH.

My daughter was incredibly poorly for over 2 years. I remember I went a good 4 days without any sleep. As my husband was away.

Though I worked in an industry where staying awake 6 days was normal. I felt it put me in good stead to having kids

It’s tough. It’s super tough. However. My kids are my world. My everything. The one thing I’m more prouder of than anything in my life.

It's horrendous. Dd was brilliant, 2 5 hour sleeps at night, 1 90 minute nap a day.

Ds. Zero fucks to give about sleep. Zero fucks to give about naps. Plus was looking after dd and doing school run. I was pretty much a zombie for 15 months. The first night he slept through I woke at 8am and thought it was a dream that it was light outside. Then panicked and ran to his room to check he was still alive.

But you manage. One thing that saved my sanity was dh having him for a couple of hours on a Saturday afternoon while I got a decent nap in. Also lots of early nights. And bringing him to me early morning and just snoozing while he bf on and off for a few hours.

Now he is 6, still not a fan of sleep but much easier to bribe to at least stay in bed.

Oh god you are all heroes!!!! I'm gunna read through all these replies and just try and get my head around it all 😂 thanks for all the advice and for being truthful!x

It’s not that bad OP. Like you I love my sleep and did worry how I’d manage but you adapt so quickly. The first few months can be rough but at 9 months my dd was sleeping for 12 hours right through. I know not all DC are the same but we’ve had a very positive experience.

Not everyone adapts quickly.
Not everyone’s DH steps up.

You can’t tell for sure whether you/they will in advance, but some factors make it more or less likely.

Eg I had a history of mental health issues, so knew that sleep deprivation and parenting was likely to have an impact. DH was kind, reliable had coped well with caring responsibilities for a close family member on top of busy studies/work.