To ask for a handhold? Heading for a mental breakdown depending on tomorrow

[WhyThisLife]

Probably not the right section for this but with the traffic AIBU gets, here I am!

I'd like to ask for a handhold, some group support, a chat etc... As I prepare for my hospital appointment tomorrow.

I have been struggling with fertility issues for a while now and I am currently pregnant. Tomorrow is the scan where I find out if this is viable or not (I've had quite a few previously where I've been told they aren't and had to have D&C's or surgery etc...).

It's all taking its toll now and it's taking all my strength to go in that room willingly tomorrow and not being dragged kicking and screaming. I hate being there, I hate watching people coming out before me all happy and going over to the machine to pay for their scan photos, I hate the look on the nurses faces as soon as they can see on the screen and their 'im very sorry' voices when they tell me again, I hate being walked out and put in the 'quiet room' and seeing everyone's sympathetic faces in the waiting room because they know why.

I am seriously concerned about how I will be tomorrow if it's the same news. I am so so so fed up. I feel like I'm heading for some sort of breakdown but I can't bring myself to give up either.

I don't want to worry DH too much (although he does know how I'm feeling), so can I trouble you all for some support/conversation please? I feel so jittery and restless waiting for tomorrow.

Another handhold 💐

I've had problems myself and I know exactly what you mean about being embarrassed to be there again (even though i know now that I had nothing to be embarrassed about!). I actually apologised to the woman scanning me when we went in for our last one because I knew she was going to have to give us bad news. I also remember having to come out to the waiting room and all the people seeming to know what was going on :-( are you being scanned at an EPAU? It really helped me to remember that everyone there was there for a reason not because they were having straight forward pregnancies.

I hated the tv being on, it was always the same game show every time we went and I can't stand to see it on the tv now. Or the people who brought young babies in prams, I know it wasn't meant but it seems so insensitive :-(

We got our happy news eventually and I hope to god you do too. Best of wishes OP and unmumsnetty hugs Xx

Everything crossed for you

Positive vibes 🤞🤞

Everything crossed for you tomorrow

Research pregnancy vitamins carefully... they don't agree with me and they are not right for everyone. NHS advice is to take folic acid and VitD- no proven benefits to multivits.

Huge hand hold and positive thoughts being sent your way OP

God bless

I am using all my energy into positive thoughts for you tomorrow.

Your post was eloquent and I completely understand all your fears and emotions.

You've been through so much.

I hope you can glean some comfort from the support of lots of strangers on Mumsnet - we're all hoping and wishing for you.

And we'll all be here tomorrow, if you need us and the next day and the next.....

Get through tomorrow. You can do it. Fingers crossed for you.

And- if it does not go as you hope, IVF and genetic screening might work for you- essentially only genetically competent embryos are transferred and the success rates then are pretty high. I speak from experience...the ivf science is now leaning towards saying that if you can get genetically competent embryos you have pretty good odds.

So there is hope.

I wish you well

Best of luck for tomorrow

Ah, love. I'm so sorry. Will be thinking of you tomorrow and hope that it goes well.

@WhyThisLife I'm sorry you're feeling like this and you've been struggling for so long. I've struggled with fertility issues and miscarriage for 3 years. I'm 10 weeks tomorrow and I've seen a healthy pregnancy progressing on two scans but after a few days I'm nervous again. I've had the odd bit of spotting since around 5 weeks.

You have every chance that tomorrow you'll see a healthy little heart beat. I can understand the worry and your fear, but if you don't go you'll worry more.

Wishing you the best of luck for tomorrow!

Good luck. I'm here with a handhold truly wishing you all the best xx

Sending hugs and support

Oh god I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. Well, if it helps at all, I am wishing you all the best with every fibre of my being. Best of luck

Will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping for the happiest news x

Have been in both camps
I grew to utterly detest scans
Thinking of you op

Wishing you lots of strength for whatever tomorrow brings. Scanning departments are immensely stressful when you have fertility or miscarriage issues. One step at a time, one minute at a time. It takes a huge amount of courage to keep going through multiple losses so you must be much stronger than you feel right now. Look after yourself tonight and have a calm evening x

Good luck I’ve been in the Quiet room once - can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you. Really hope it’s good news for you x

Wishing you so much luck, I can feel your despair and anxiety in your post. it’s such a tough time, I’m waiting for something else myself- life changing surgery- but the anxiety and utter take over of your brain is so distressing and hard to manage, it’s exhausting. Please take care of yourself and reach out to get the support that you need- chase up that referral either way? And make sure it’s definitely been processed etc, has happened to me too many times! Xx

All the best to you for tomorrow, it's nerve wracking, but we will all be holding your hand!

Sending you all the positive vibes and good wishes in the world.

Strong handhold and crossing fingers and toes for tomorrow for you. All you’ve been through sounds so utterly draining both mentally and physically. I so hope tomorrow brings good news for you.

Goodness, 8 times. You must feel exhausted with it all. I really hope tomorrow brings good news. It’s so shit that you have to go to the same place for scans as everyone else

Good luck for tomorrow. I really hope it's good news.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow🌸🌸🌸