To ask for a handhold? Heading for a mental breakdown depending on tomorrow

[WhyThisLife]

Probably not the right section for this but with the traffic AIBU gets, here I am!

I'd like to ask for a handhold, some group support, a chat etc... As I prepare for my hospital appointment tomorrow.

I have been struggling with fertility issues for a while now and I am currently pregnant. Tomorrow is the scan where I find out if this is viable or not (I've had quite a few previously where I've been told they aren't and had to have D&C's or surgery etc...).

It's all taking its toll now and it's taking all my strength to go in that room willingly tomorrow and not being dragged kicking and screaming. I hate being there, I hate watching people coming out before me all happy and going over to the machine to pay for their scan photos, I hate the look on the nurses faces as soon as they can see on the screen and their 'im very sorry' voices when they tell me again, I hate being walked out and put in the 'quiet room' and seeing everyone's sympathetic faces in the waiting room because they know why.

I am seriously concerned about how I will be tomorrow if it's the same news. I am so so so fed up. I feel like I'm heading for some sort of breakdown but I can't bring myself to give up either.

I don't want to worry DH too much (although he does know how I'm feeling), so can I trouble you all for some support/conversation please? I feel so jittery and restless waiting for tomorrow.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I’m not sure if this is helpful but a lot of what you have said seems to be around the clinical environment and the full waiting room. Could you go for a private scan instead. These clinics tend to just have one patient at a time and might be kinder for you?

I'll pray for you! I truly hope you receive good news and remain happy and healthy.

Everything crossed for you. Been there myself, it’s so hard. The nurses will be hoping for good news too.

OP, I'm rooting for you tomorrow! Here's my list of things you might be able to do tonight to take your mind off the waiting and worrying:

Bake a cake
Make your favourite supper
Binge watch something on TV
Do a jigsaw while listening to music/a podcast
Go for a walk if it's dry where you are

I'm not in any way wanting to minimise your agony. Just a few things that help me if I need to be distracted. Come ON baby!

Thinking of you and praying that you get happy news tomorrow xx

One more thing. In your situation I would probably want to ask the staff to let you know asap what the outcome is or talk you through exactly what they're doing. I remember the silence and wondering whether they could see something worrying or whether the silence was just them concentrating!

I lost 3 in a row before low vit D was identified and supplemented, following which I had my DD successfully.
I agree with taking vitamin D.

Good luck for tomorrow op

OP, I am so sorry to hear of all your losses. Am keeping everything crossed for you that you get good news tomorrow.

The strain of fertility issue and recurrent miscarriage can be immense, as you know only too well. It is often misunderstood and minimised by others, as you have probably experienced, which makes it even harder for some. It is so much to go through. I see that you are on the waiting list for therapy, and I was wondering if you knew when you were likely to be able to see someone? If it’s not imminent, would you consider seeing somebody privately? Support and help to process could be invaluable. If finances are an issue, many therapists offer a sliding scale, though may not be explicit about it. It is worth checking websites, contacting some, etc, if you would need this. Therapists want to help people, and I would expect you would find someone willing to help you for what you could afford (if indeed finances are an issue).

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow OP

I'm so hopefully for you that finally you have some happy news.

X

Have you had your vitamin D levels checked? Nearly everyone in Ireland and the UK is deficient in it. Also do the pregnancy vits have magnesium as this is an essential mineral to help VitD absorption? Hope you have good news tomorrow.

I've been there twice OP, so I can imagine a little what it must be like- hugs xxx Best wishes and please come back tomorrow and let us all know how you've got on. xxx

I really hope tomorrow gives you the results you wish for, op

Are you taking low dose aspirin op?

Hope you get everything you’re wishing for

Good luck honey xx

Everything crossed for you

Good luck for tomorrow x

I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow OP 💐

Fingers crossed for this time being the words you desperately want to hear.

💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

Wishing you all the luck in the world, hope this is it with the odds game. It is so bloody hard, I’ve had 8 over the last four years but unexplained but probably age coming into it now. The nurses and even the Consultant at the rmc said they all wished it was the one when my last one showed up as no heartbeat after a good scan, they are rooting for us too. You will get through tonight and tomorrow we women are stronger than we think xx

OP please don't lose hope. It is so bloody hard. I have been there and it was so so so hard. Good luck for tomorrow.

Thinking of you, and just to let you know those nurses/midwives/radiographers are willing that scan to be perfect for you. We all have a good cry when things go wrong for our patients, you just don't see it if we can help it. Take care xx

Another huge handhold here. I will pray for you tonight and keep you in my thoughts. Sending so much love to you. 🌺🌺🌺